Relationship Advice Thread

[Steve9347]

Whoa, Wite popped his cherry.

[Brian]

he received the greg775 Royal Seal of Approval for banging hot chicks. That is something to be engraved on a headstone

 

Exactly. May get a "Gregg approved" tattoo.

[nickofypres]

Bump:

 

If a woman tells you something along the lines of "don't wait, I don't know when there will be time", "you're a free man, you need to find someone without kids", and "I don't want you to get hurt by me.", she's letting you down easy, right?

[BigHurt3515]

Bump:

 

If a woman tells you something along the lines of "don't wait, I don't know when there will be time", "you're a free man, you need to find someone without kids", and "I don't want you to get hurt by me.", she's letting you down easy, right?

 

Sounds like she has confidence issues and doesn't think she is good enough for you. Or she is trying to get rid of you lol

[nickofypres]

I would normally take it as she's not interested in me...

 

But not 3 days before this (she told me all this Yesterday) that she told me wanted to date me. She works two jobs, she is a mum and its the holidays and I even told her that I understand her life is hectic right now and I don't really mind waiting for her because I really like her and I think she is worth the wait.

Edited December 11, 2015 by woods of ypres

[LDF]

Bump:

 

If a woman tells you something along the lines of "don't wait, I don't know when there will be time", "you're a free man, you need to find someone without kids", and "I don't want you to get hurt by me.", she's letting you down easy, right?

 

she is coming up with everything plausible as a possible excuse on why it would not work including the bold.

 

i hate to say this, but be a gentleman and with class and say you understand. do not say the kill words of what will make you look weak. when you have a chance call me, i will wait.

 

sorry, i hope i didn't overstep my grounds.

[BlackSox13]

Bump:

 

If a woman tells you something along the lines of "don't wait, I don't know when there will be time", "you're a free man, you need to find someone without kids", and "I don't want you to get hurt by me.", she's letting you down easy, right?

That says if all right there my man. If she's saying these things then do yourself a favor and listen to her or you could very well push her away.

[greg775]

He doesn't love his wife. If he did, he'd seek treatment for the sex addiction he's claiming he has so he can stop harming his family.

Actually he went to a psychiatrist. He had TWO appointments with a renowned psychiatrist (around these parts) then quit. I don't blame him. He said the first session was pretty good. Then he went back a few days for his second session and the psychiatrist kept asking him the same questions he asked at the first appointment! My friend said in an annoyed voice 3-4 times, "Like I said on Tuesday ...." It pissed him off the psychiatrist looked at his watch a couple times and also didn't take notes and didn't remember what was said on Tuesday!!

 

LOL Greg....thank you for being you.

YW.

 

What if he gets another woman pregnant? What if he gets a disease and gives it to his wife? Sounds like your friend is a giant selfish asshole. If I were you i'd tell his wife he's still cheating. At least give her the facts so she can leave and take the kids with her.

I feel bad because at the wedding the minister challenged the audience to help the two out and keep them on the straight and narrow. It was wild but it's like he knew my friend was a cheater type. What makes me feel bad is she used to talk to me on the phone when I'd call him or he'd call me to shoot the breeze. Now she gives me dirty looks and won't talk to me ostensibly because he sometimes tells her he's out with me to dinner when in reality he's seeing the mistress. Also she must think I'm a creep for never coming over to see the 2 kids when I'm going to dinner with her husband all the time (which I'm not doing). I'm part of the excuse list he has. She is a very nice woman. He said he's playing with fire cause he's still seeing a couple other women besides the wife. I did tell him, "You should just turn over a new leaf and starting today be a good husband and keep being a good father. You had a good run (in his way of thinking) and now spend the next 30 years of your life being devoted." He said he's addicted.

 

Me telling the wife would be kind of a rotten thing to do IMO. They actually have a good relationship except for the straying. He's a good guy, a great dad and treats his wife well. Except for the straying of course.

Edited December 11, 2015 by greg775

[RockRaines]

That says if all right there my man. If she's saying these things then do yourself a favor and listen to her or you could very well push her away.

Shes giving solid advice, take it.

[nickofypres]

Thank you everyone for your input. I guess I already knew that, but was just looking for some closure.

[LittleHurt05]

Me telling the wife would be kind of a rotten thing to do IMO. They actually have a good relationship except for the straying. He's a good guy, a great dad and treats his wife well. Except for the straying of course.

 

[knightni]

"He was a great guy. Rarely brought any STDs home."

[CrimsonWeltall]

Actually he went to a psychiatrist. He had TWO appointments with a renowned psychiatrist (around these parts) then quit. I don't blame him. He said the first session was pretty good. Then he went back a few days for his second session and the psychiatrist kept asking him the same questions he asked at the first appointment! My friend said in an annoyed voice 3-4 times, "Like I said on Tuesday ...." It pissed him off the psychiatrist looked at his watch a couple times and also didn't take notes and didn't remember what was said on Tuesday!!

 

So he claims to have a disease, and all he did was go to a doctor two times, make excuses about why he didn't like him, and then decided OH WELL, THE DISEASE WINS?

[Kyyle23]

Thank you everyone for your input. I guess I already knew that, but was just looking for some closure.

 

 

[BlackSox13]

Shes giving solid advice, take it.

Yes she is. I heard similar advice in the same situation about 15 years ago and I took the advice. If someone doesn't know what they want then the only thing to do is detach, let go and move on. Sometimes things do happen for good reason.

[nickofypres]

We never actually started dating, but we both wanted to go out with each other and everytime I asked if she was going to be free, shes always busy (mom, jobs, et) and I told her I understand all that.But in the mean time she still tells me she likes me and still wants to date.

 

But then eventually she told me all the stuff about their being no time and whatever.

 

I believe I heard her telling someone (we used to be coworkers), that her last two exes were kind of abusive and/or controlling so I tried to be very open minded about giving her space.

Edited December 11, 2015 by ypres

[bigruss]

Actually he went to a psychiatrist. He had TWO appointments with a renowned psychiatrist (around these parts) then quit. I don't blame him. He said the first session was pretty good. Then he went back a few days for his second session and the psychiatrist kept asking him the same questions he asked at the first appointment! My friend said in an annoyed voice 3-4 times, "Like I said on Tuesday ...." It pissed him off the psychiatrist looked at his watch a couple times and also didn't take notes and didn't remember what was said on Tuesday!!

 

 

YW.

 

 

I feel bad because at the wedding the minister challenged the audience to help the two out and keep them on the straight and narrow. It was wild but it's like he knew my friend was a cheater type. What makes me feel bad is she used to talk to me on the phone when I'd call him or he'd call me to shoot the breeze. Now she gives me dirty looks and won't talk to me ostensibly because he sometimes tells her he's out with me to dinner when in reality he's seeing the mistress. Also she must think I'm a creep for never coming over to see the 2 kids when I'm going to dinner with her husband all the time (which I'm not doing). I'm part of the excuse list he has. She is a very nice woman. He said he's playing with fire cause he's still seeing a couple other women besides the wife. I did tell him, "You should just turn over a new leaf and starting today be a good husband and keep being a good father. You had a good run (in his way of thinking) and now spend the next 30 years of your life being devoted." He said he's addicted.

 

Me telling the wife would be kind of a rotten thing to do IMO. They actually have a good relationship except for the straying. He's a good guy, a great dad and treats his wife well. Except for the straying of course.

Nice to see good ole Christian values are still around these days.

[pettie4sox]

Nice to see good ole Christian values are still around these days.

 

Only when it comes to gays and I guess, muslims now.

 

EDIT: CAN'T FORGET ABORTION!

Edited December 11, 2015 by pettie4sox

[greg775]

So he claims to have a disease, and all he did was go to a doctor two times, make excuses about why he didn't like him, and then decided OH WELL, THE DISEASE WINS?

True, but isn't it rotten that the psychiatrist was that inept? Looking at his watch ... not remembering one session from the next. Inexcusable.

 

Nice to see good ole Christian values are still around these days.

I don't know what that means. It's a rotten situation but it's not my place to tell the wife anything. All I can do is encourage the guy to end his cheating ways and be a good hubby/dad. You've got to remember, a lot of people do cheat. It's not a pretty trait, but a lot of people cheat on their spouses. What do you do if you are not attracted to your wife physically anymore but don't want to break up the family? He gets his sex from the hot chicks he meets at bars and cheats with. I mean what good would it do for me to a.) tell his wife he's still cheating; she knows he cheated the first time or b.) scream at him. It's his life. He makes his own decisions. I'm just a friend.

Edited December 12, 2015 by greg775

[Kyyle23]

Greg, you are terrible. All you do is make excuses for s***ty people

[nickofypres]

I get not wanting to tell her and have guilt of breaking up the family, or whatever. But don't you think she has the right to know?

[pettie4sox]

True, but isn't it rotten that the psychiatrist was that inept? Looking at his watch ... not remembering one session from the next. Inexcusable.

 

 

I don't know what that means. It's a rotten situation but it's not my place to tell the wife anything. All I can do is encourage the guy to end his cheating ways and be a good hubby/dad. You've got to remember, a lot of people do cheat. It's not a pretty trait, but a lot of people cheat on their spouses. What do you do if you are not attracted to your wife physically anymore but don't want to break up the family? He gets his sex from the hot chicks he meets at bars and cheats with. I mean what good would it do for me to a.) tell his wife he's still cheating; she knows he cheated the first time or b.) scream at him. It's his life. He makes his own decisions. I'm just a friend.

 

Imagine you are married greg, and your wife does the exact same thing this husband is doing to his wife.

 

I think you would want to know. He's treating his wife like an asshole. He probably doesn't want to end it because he's going to get fleeced in the divorce. It may not be your place to tell but you absolutely should stop being friends with him. Birds of a feather greg, birds of a feather.

[CrimsonWeltall]

True, but isn't it rotten that the psychiatrist was that inept? Looking at his watch ... not remembering one session from the next. Inexcusable.

 

I'd bet your friend made up the problems with the psychiatrist as an excuse not to go anymore. Did he find another psychiatrist? Nope.

[caulfield12]

What would Tim Tebow do?

 

Would Jesus also follow the "bros before hoes" line of thinking? What about the pastor or minister...if he had firsthand knowledge of a repetitive pattern, would anyone objective and outside of the relationship really accept the sexual addiction copout/excuse?

 

Even if you were closer friends with his wife than the guy?

 

I always feel like telling someone it's going on again is much easier than "ruining" the trust in the first place...then it's on her 100% to live with the consequences of staying despite the Near certainty he we will cheat repetitively in the future.

 

 

This idea that guys can cheat because the girl's super hot and younger and that justifies it more somehow is pretty dubious. Certainly not admirable.

Edited December 12, 2015 by caulfield12

[greg775]

Greg, you are terrible. All you do is make excuses for s***ty people

You see things as cut and dried sometimes. Just because this guy is doing this one lousy thing may not mean he's "s***ty people." Not everything is cut and dried in this world. How come you guys won't believe me when I say he's a good dad to the 2 kids and doesn't ever get violent or anything. Basically he's a good provider/good person who does this heinous thing. I wouldn't cheat but some people do.

 

I get not wanting to tell her and have guilt of breaking up the family, or whatever. But don't you think she has the right to know?

She caught him once. It's probably inevitable she catches him again. For me to turn him in, that seems pretty wrong.

 

It may not be your place to tell but you absolutely should stop being friends with him. Birds of a feather greg, birds of a feather.

I rarely hang out with him. I haven't cut all ties with him because of his cheating.

 

I'd bet your friend made up the problems with the psychiatrist as an excuse not to go anymore. Did he find another psychiatrist? Nope.

I don't know why you'd assume that. Some people get pissed off when a professional (psychiatrist) obviously is not doing his/her job, not even retaining any information from a first meeting.

 

I always feel like telling someone it's going on again is much easier than "ruining" the trust in the first place...then it's on her 100% to live with the consequences of staying despite the Near certainty he we will cheat repetitively in the future.

This idea that guys can cheat because the girl's super hot and younger and that justifies it more somehow is pretty dubious. Certainly not admirable.

Obviously the wife likes him enough to stay after the first cheating incident was uncovered. It's very sad he's cheating. I told him I thought he should get help and he told me the psychiatrist story. I told him he might consider just going cold turkey on the cheating and just turn over a new leaf the rest of his life, in his world telling him he had a good run with multiple women, now it's time to put that all in his past.

I don't see why I should tell the wife anything. I mean the guy might even kill me or something if I did that. Stranger things have happened. I don't know why you all would suggest I have to tell her. She already knows he did it once.

This guy claims he's a sex addict. He claims he needs the attention of the multiple women. He did say he's much older than the current woman he's cheating with and whenever he leaves her in a restaurant or anywhere he comes back and some guy is hitting on her. In this day and age of people unwilling to get involved I think my behavior in this case is about a 5.5 out of 10 in the advice I've given him, not a 1 or 2 as some of you suggest.

Edited December 12, 2015 by greg775