Relationship Advice Thread

[iamshack]

Chili, you must be a Ken doll stud. You got women all over the place. What's your secret? Flowing black hair; bodybuilder type? You seem to have a ton of women to choose from all the time.

[greg775]

That's exactly what I told a coworker of mine. The girl I was just dating, didn't follow sports at all. Had never even SEEN a hockey game, even on TV. This new girl is baseball crazed, and even though she sends me snaps of the Cubs game and teases me, she also watches the Sox games and teases me about them and wants to go to Sox games with me. That's a lot more fun, even if it means playful teasing.

Chili, you can't ever wear anything Cub related. That would be too sickening. Accept a Cubs pencil from her or something though. The flowing dark locks may be it though. No offense to the bald(ing) guys on here, but girls will admit they like flowing hair like Chili apparently has.

Edited May 5, 2016 by greg775

[Rowand44]

Chili, you can't ever wear anything Cub related. That would be too sickening. Accept a Cubs pencil from her or something though. The flowing dark locks may be it though. No offense to the bald(ing) guys on here, but girls will admit they like flowing hair like Chili apparently has.

:crying :crying

[Chisoxfn]

Chili, you can't ever wear anything Cub related. That would be too sickening. Accept a Cubs pencil from her or something though. The flowing dark locks may be it though. No offense to the bald(ing) guys on here, but girls will admit they like flowing hair like Chili apparently has.

This might be the post of the year Greg.

[RockRaines]

So I'll just say and I'm sure some of the people are joking, but better to find a girl that is a baseball fan vs. a girl that isn't. Who gives a rats ass if she is a fan of your team or not. The rivalry could actually make it more fun.

My wife is a Cubs fan, its fine.

[Jose Abreu]

How long of a distance? I met my wife on match.com when I was living in Oak Park and she was living in Indianapolis. We e-mailed and talked on the phone for a month before deciding to meet in person, but the distance was close enough that we were able to visit each other just about every weekend before deciding to get married.

I'm a junior in HS. Girl is into me and I think I am also into her (she is a Sox fan and literally can recite Sox player stats/sabermetrics AND is pretty. Too good to be true right?). Problem is that she is a graduating senior who will go to college in Louisiana, and there's like, a 1% chance I go to college there.

 

Its probably better nowadays but I had one in college that was a disaster. She was in AZ and I was in OH. Jealously, cheating etc was awful. If I could go back i wouldnt have done it. Lots of fish in the sea

This is on par with what I usually hear. I don't think cheating would be as much of an issue with this girl, but I could see jealousy (both ways). In the age of the smartphone and near-constant communication, I'd hope that some of these problems are less prevalent now.

 

You're about to graduate HS right (if I'm remembering correctly)? Long distance in college is just not smart, I did it for my first year and a half and I wish I had that time back. You both need to be on the same page and that becomes so hard when you are learning about yourself.

Yes, I graduate in May 2017 and the girl graduates in a couple weeks. It seems like a horrible idea, but we have so much in common and it would be hard to not try to make something work.

Edited May 5, 2016 by Jose Abreu

[pettie4sox]

Dude, you are too young to be tied down with a long distance relationship. You have your whole life ahead of you. If you get into the same college, sure go for it, but I think you need to be a free bird.

[bigruss]

Have fun this summer with her, let it die at the end of it and keep in touch. Maybe after college you can be close and try again.

[ChiliIrishHammock24]

I'm a junior in HS. Girl is into me and I think I am also into her (she is a Sox fan and literally can recite Sox player stats/sabermetrics AND is pretty. Too good to be true right?). Problem is that she is a graduating senior who will go to college in Louisiana, and there's like, a 1% chance I go to college there.

 

 

This is on par with what I usually hear. I don't think cheating would be as much of an issue with this girl, but I could see jealousy (both ways). In the age of the smartphone and near-constant communication, I'd hope that some of these problems are less prevalent now.

 

 

Yes, I graduate in May 2017 and the girl graduates in a couple weeks. It seems like a horrible idea, but we have so much in common and it would be hard to not try to make something work.

 

I was in a relatively similar situation when I was in HS. I was a junior dating a senior girl who was going away to a major university. She was only going 3 hours away, but I still couldn't handle the idea of her being around college guys all the time (including her ex) and me not ever knowing what is going on (age before smart phones, social media was just Myspace). I decided to end it over the summer. Good thing I did. A few weeks later she was back with her ex and they have been together for the next 8 years since. lol.

[ChiliIrishHammock24]

Date went alright tonight. This was my first time meeting here (another Tinder meet), and like I experienced in my 1st Tinder meet, she was about 30-40 lbs heavier than expected. She was actually a really nice girl and we got along fine, but I immediately went from feeling nervous that she would like me, to feeling like I had the upper hand. lol. But overall, I have mixed feelings. She ended up actually knowing far less about baseball than I was hoping. Didn't know a single Sox player, David Ortiz, or really anything outside of the Cubs. She was giving me Cubs updates as the game went on and mispronounced Zobrist's name. Not like being a huge baseball fan is a requirement of mine, but she talked up her baseball love so much that I was disappointed I guess.

 

Also, she talked an awful lot about her job and how much money she makes. She is an ER nurse and makes pretty good money, way more than I do. Like....4x the amount that I do. I guess I was a bit intimidated by her talking about it all and how she is going to buy a $40,000 jeep here soon and how she goes to Vegas like 4 times a year, has trips to Cali and Nashville planned. I mean, she goes on vacation almost once a month. Plus she said questioned a couple of times why I would get the degree I got, considering jobs in Journalism pay so little. She said that's why she went in to medical, because of the money. (And her mom is a head nurse, I get the idea her family is loaded).

 

So all that combined with the fact that she lives an hour south of me....Eh. I'm just not sure. I still got another girl here that I want to meet in the next week. She lives like 25 mins away and we have just as much, if not more in common. Only problem with her is that if I don't text her, we won't talk. When we talk, or conversations are full and she is interested. But every day it's on me to start the conversation. Kind of hard to figure out if she really wants to talk.

[Jose Abreu]

Dude, you are too young to be tied down with a long distance relationship. You have your whole life ahead of you. If you get into the same college, sure go for it, but I think you need to be a free bird.

Valid point. I will easily get into that college and I'm already planning on applying there as a safety anyway, but I doubt I go there unless everything goes wrong.

 

Have fun this summer with her, let it die at the end of it and keep in touch. Maybe after college you can be close and try again.

Looks like that might be what happens at this point, unfortunately.

 

I was in a relatively similar situation when I was in HS. I was a junior dating a senior girl who was going away to a major university. She was only going 3 hours away, but I still couldn't handle the idea of her being around college guys all the time (including her ex) and me not ever knowing what is going on (age before smart phones, social media was just Myspace). I decided to end it over the summer. Good thing I did. A few weeks later she was back with her ex and they have been together for the next 8 years since. lol.

The college guys thing worries me too, but she's very... not, like that. Meaning, she isn't the type to go out and get with a bunch of guys. I don't know though, the prospect of it still worries me regardless.

[Kyyle23]

Long distance relationship was the worst thing that happened to me during my freshman year of college. Just a disaster

[pettie4sox]

greg, I am going to trust you here since you are bit older than me (I assume) and a bit wiser. You think girls like men with hair? I was considering going clean on top but I am having second guesses now...

 

 

RUN. Get out. Everything is cool when you are going through your "firsts" of a relationship. First date, first kiss, first sleepover, first time smelling one another's farts, first makeup, etc. Then she gets comfortable with you and she is no longer afraid to tell you are always wrong! This typically happens 3-6 months in my experience. If you get out and play it right you can still catch some action when she comes home from school in a couple years. The rekindling hook ups are some of the aboslute best.

 

Personally, my two regrets in high school: A.) dating my Sophomore & Junior year girlfriend one year too long (Sophomore year was amazing, Junior year sucked) B.) having high-ish standards and caring what people think. There were so many girls I didn't hook up with because I was worried about getting teased. My girl friends that I would hang out with were so vicious. Once my buddies and I would start hooking up with a different group of girls they'd always rip us and those girls. Looking back, I want to beat my 15/18 year old self up because a lot of those girls grew up into something nice. Oh well. My point - strike when the iron is hot.

 

 

And Chili, not a Tinder guy. How does that work? Do you filter that you want 18 year olds or does is just work out that way?

 

Wicked burn.

[Quin]

Relevant to previous conversation, but long distance relationships take their toll. Smart phones help immensely, but I just got in I've such relationship and the critical things we've hit on include...

 

1) Making sure we talk almost every day on the phone

2) Have a date for it to end, so once I'm done with school.

3) Plan out the visits. We just scheduled a visit every month for the next year last night.

4) Intent. She and I agreed you don't get in these relationships without the endgame being marriage. Her sister got mad and said we're moving too fast, but we've been good friends for quite some time it helps.

[shipps]

Relevant to previous conversation, but long distance relationships take their toll. Smart phones help immensely, but I just got in I've such relationship and the critical things we've hit on include...

 

1) Making sure we talk almost every day on the phone

2) Have a date for it to end, so once I'm done with school.

3) Plan out the visits. We just scheduled a visit every month for the next year last night.

4) Intent. She and I agreed you don't get in these relationships without the endgame being marriage. Her sister got mad and said we're moving too fast, but we've been good friends for quite some time it helps.

 

Whew, thats a heavy subject to be talking about in the very beginning of a relationship but some people handle it better than others. My concern would be that you put too high of expectations on a relationship from the very start and it can be more pressure on you both than what is necessary.

[greg775]

Date went alright tonight. This was my first time meeting here (another Tinder meet), and like I experienced in my 1st Tinder meet, she was about 30-40 lbs heavier than expected. She was actually a really nice girl and we got along fine, but I immediately went from feeling nervous that she would like me, to feeling like I had the upper hand. lol. But overall, I have mixed feelings. She ended up actually knowing far less about baseball than I was hoping. Didn't know a single Sox player, David Ortiz, or really anything outside of the Cubs. She was giving me Cubs updates as the game went on and mispronounced Zobrist's name. Not like being a huge baseball fan is a requirement of mine, but she talked up her baseball love so much that I was disappointed I guess.

 

Also, she talked an awful lot about her job and how much money she makes. She is an ER nurse and makes pretty good money, way more than I do. Like....4x the amount that I do. I guess I was a bit intimidated by her talking about it all and how she is going to buy a $40,000 jeep here soon and how she goes to Vegas like 4 times a year, has trips to Cali and Nashville planned. I mean, she goes on vacation almost once a month. Plus she said questioned a couple of times why I would get the degree I got, considering jobs in Journalism pay so little. She said that's why she went in to medical, because of the money. (And her mom is a head nurse, I get the idea her family is loaded).

 

So all that combined with the fact that she lives an hour south of me....Eh. I'm just not sure. I still got another girl here that I want to meet in the next week. She lives like 25 mins away and we have just as much, if not more in common. Only problem with her is that if I don't text her, we won't talk. When we talk, or conversations are full and she is interested. But every day it's on me to start the conversation. Kind of hard to figure out if she really wants to talk.

 

Let me guess. No second date with this one. Sounds like she would never marry a guy going into Journalism if she asked you why you'd do a low paying career; she is already overweight; she goes to Vegas all the time (probably lot of one night stands at the clubs); she sounds way too opinionated. No second date right?

 

[knightni]

Let me guess. No second date with this one. Sounds like she would never marry a guy going into Journalism if she asked you why you'd do a low paying career; she is already overweight; she goes to Vegas all the time (probably lot of one night stands at the clubs); she sounds way too opinionated. No second date right?

Hard to find good women as a journalist, huh?

 

 

[Quin]

Whew, thats a heavy subject to be talking about in the very beginning of a relationship but some people handle it better than others. My concern would be that you put too high of expectations on a relationship from the very start and it can be more pressure on you both than what is necessary.

 

We know it is. And we're stressing that everything we talk about I'd based on an "if". Also helps that we've been close friends for a bit. But it definitely scared us each until we talked it through.

 

Hard to find good women as a journalist, huh?

 

I succeded so far.

[ChiliIrishHammock24]

Relevant to previous conversation, but long distance relationships take their toll. Smart phones help immensely, but I just got in I've such relationship and the critical things we've hit on include...

 

1) Making sure we talk almost every day on the phone

2) Have a date for it to end, so once I'm done with school.

3) Plan out the visits. We just scheduled a visit every month for the next year last night.

4) Intent. She and I agreed you don't get in these relationships without the endgame being marriage. Her sister got mad and said we're moving too fast, but we've been good friends for quite some time it helps.

 

What does that mean? You picked a "break-up" date?

[ChiliIrishHammock24]

Let me guess. No second date with this one. Sounds like she would never marry a guy going into Journalism if she asked you why you'd do a low paying career; she is already overweight; she goes to Vegas all the time (probably lot of one night stands at the clubs); she sounds way too opinionated. No second date right?

 

She is staying over for the whole weekend, this upcoming weekend. She wanted to buy us tickets for the Cubs/Phillies game Saturday, but decided against it once I told her I had a party to go to afterwards (She's apparently coming to that now as well).

[DrunkBomber]

What does that mean? You picked a "break-up" date?

Id imagine he means pick a date to end the long distance part of the relationship.

[Quin]

Id imagine he means pick a date to end the long distance part of the relationship.

 

Ding ding ding.

[ChiliIrishHammock24]

Ding ding ding.

 

Gotcha. Although for a lot of people it's probably not that simple.

[greg775]

She is staying over for the whole weekend, this upcoming weekend. She wanted to buy us tickets for the Cubs/Phillies game Saturday, but decided against it once I told her I had a party to go to afterwards (She's apparently coming to that now as well).

Damn. The way u made her sound she was not that appealing. You must like her. I really would not want to take a woman to a Cubs game. I'd insist on the Sox part of it. If she doesn't know any players in baseball cept Cubs like you said, she's not THAT big of a fan. I'd rather take her to a library than a Cubs game. So are you into this girl or not?

[greg775]

Relevant to previous conversation, but long distance relationships take their toll. Smart phones help immensely, but I just got in I've such relationship and the critical things we've hit on include...

 

1) Making sure we talk almost every day on the phone

2) Have a date for it to end, so once I'm done with school.

3) Plan out the visits. We just scheduled a visit every month for the next year last night.

4) Intent. She and I agreed you don't get in these relationships without the endgame being marriage. Her sister got mad and said we're moving too fast, but we've been good friends for quite some time it helps.

Quin, you are a very intense guy it seems. Way too organized. Why are you mapping this out so every detail is covered? It's either meant to be or it isn't. I wish you the best but from what I have learned if she meets some guy she is fiercely attracted to, you may be out of luck during the long distance relationship. If she doesn't meet anybody, you are still in. Now if you are incredibly good looking and built, which you may very well be, and you are hotter to women than 95 percent of anybody they come into contact with, you are safe.