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Relationship Advice Thread


witesoxfan

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QUOTE (Quinarvy @ May 25, 2016 -> 02:58 PM)
We know it is. And we're stressing that everything we talk about I'd based on an "if". Also helps that we've been close friends for a bit. But it definitely scared us each until we talked it through.

 

 

 

I succeded so far.

I pretty much knew when I started dating my wife that I'd end up marrying her (we were good friends for a long time so I knew the personality was a fit and that combined with the spark we had worked out well so far). Of course I was always the type who didn't see any value getting into an actual relationship (i.e., girlfriend vs. casual dating) with someone unless I saw some long-term potential.

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QUOTE (greg775 @ May 26, 2016 -> 01:26 AM)
Quin, you are a very intense guy it seems. Way too organized. Why are you mapping this out so every detail is covered? It's either meant to be or it isn't. I wish you the best but from what I have learned if she meets some guy she is fiercely attracted to, you may be out of luck during the long distance relationship. If she doesn't meet anybody, you are still in. Now if you are incredibly good looking and built, which you may very well be, and you are hotter to women than 95 percent of anybody they come into contact with, you are safe.

 

Because we were close friends, then realized we want another

 

We mapped it out because my life schedule is rigid with school, so now we know when we'll see each other.

 

And she's turned down guys more attractive than me, not everyone is vain and chasing just looks.

 

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QUOTE (Chisoxfn @ May 26, 2016 -> 10:13 AM)
I pretty much knew when I started dating my wife that I'd end up marrying her (we were good friends for a long time so I knew the personality was a fit and that combined with the spark we had worked out well so far). Of course I was always the type who didn't see any value getting into an actual relationship (i.e., girlfriend vs. casual dating) with someone unless I saw some long-term potential.

 

Also the same way. We knew going in that neither of us were the fling type.

 

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QUOTE (greg775 @ May 26, 2016 -> 12:26 AM)
Quin, you are a very intense guy it seems. Way too organized. Why are you mapping this out so every detail is covered? It's either meant to be or it isn't. I wish you the best but from what I have learned if she meets some guy she is fiercely attracted to, you may be out of luck during the long distance relationship. If she doesn't meet anybody, you are still in. Now if you are incredibly good looking and built, which you may very well be, and you are hotter to women than 95 percent of anybody they come into contact with, you are safe.

Honestly, when it comes to marriage, the personality matters so much more. Lets face reality, people are going to age so looks aren't everything. Now I fully believe you have to have that physical chemistry but the emotional chemistry is so critical (along with communication) to a successful and happy marriage. But what do I know...presuming nothing crazy happens in the next 2 days, I'll just be on 6 years (which is nothing). But when you have kids, you better be able to communicate and get along emotionally, etc. I feel that kids are the absolute hardest part of a marriage (such a big adjustment to your overall lives and a ton more added stress, etc). Not all stress is bad and kids are worth it, but if you can't emotionally connect before and get along and communicate extremely well before kids, etc, good luck after kids.

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QUOTE (Chisoxfn @ May 26, 2016 -> 10:39 AM)
Honestly, when it comes to marriage, the personality matters so much more. Lets face reality, people are going to age so looks aren't everything. Now I fully believe you have to have that physical chemistry but the emotional chemistry is so critical (along with communication) to a successful and happy marriage. But what do I know...presuming nothing crazy happens in the next 2 days, I'll just be on 6 years (which is nothing). But when you have kids, you better be able to communicate and get along emotionally, etc. I feel that kids are the absolute hardest part of a marriage (such a big adjustment to your overall lives and a ton more added stress, etc). Not all stress is bad and kids are worth it, but if you can't emotionally connect before and get along and communicate extremely well before kids, etc, good luck after kids.

 

We had the emotonal connection first. We were worried that we wouldn't have physical chemistry, but fortunately we did right away after deciding to date.

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QUOTE (whitesoxjr27 @ May 26, 2016 -> 05:29 PM)
As anyone had luck on the apps on the phone finding someone? I use the typical gay apps like grinder and it seems its made for hookups. Wanted to ask the straight world has had any success?

I know a few people who are in serious (living together) relationships after meeting on Tinder. That's not the majority, but it happens.

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QUOTE (whitesoxjr27 @ May 26, 2016 -> 05:29 PM)
As anyone had luck on the apps on the phone finding someone? I use the typical gay apps like grinder and it seems its made for hookups. Wanted to ask the straight world has had any success?

 

Define "luck"? I've met up with 4 girls now from online (3 Tinder, 1 OkCupid), and they all worked out well. Dated one of them, am currently talking to another one, are "friends with benefits" with another one, and the only one I haven't seen more than one time was because I met up with her while I was in Arizona for the week.

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QUOTE (greg775 @ May 26, 2016 -> 02:22 AM)
Damn. The way u made her sound she was not that appealing. You must like her. I really would not want to take a woman to a Cubs game. I'd insist on the Sox part of it. If she doesn't know any players in baseball cept Cubs like you said, she's not THAT big of a fan. I'd rather take her to a library than a Cubs game. So are you into this girl or not?

 

She isn't as 10 by any means, but I think I also overreacted a bit because I was mislead by her pictures. I'll admit that I find my ex a lot cuter, but I feel like I could get along with this girl better and is far more relationship material, probably mostly due to being age appropriate.

 

We agreed that any Cubs games we go to, she is buying. And Sox games we go to, I am buying. She loses out on that deal financially, lol, but that's her damn fault!

 

And yes, I am in to her. I'll come around on the attraction side of things, but so far I really enjoy our constant texting and I love that she loves to cook and is great at it. She's cooking some cheddar-stuffed burgers for us this weekend.

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QUOTE (whitesoxjr27 @ May 26, 2016 -> 05:29 PM)
As anyone had luck on the apps on the phone finding someone? I use the typical gay apps like grinder and it seems its made for hookups. Wanted to ask the straight world has had any success?

 

My daughter's current boyfriend is someone she met through one of the apps. It wasn't Tindr, I'm forgetting which one.

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QUOTE (whitesoxjr27 @ May 26, 2016 -> 05:29 PM)
As anyone had luck on the apps on the phone finding someone? I use the typical gay apps like grinder and it seems its made for hookups. Wanted to ask the straight world has had any success?

 

Is match.com still around? I know several people that got married after meeting on there. Or is that site ancient nowadays?

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QUOTE (whitesoxjr27 @ May 26, 2016 -> 05:29 PM)
As anyone had luck on the apps on the phone finding someone? I use the typical gay apps like grinder and it seems its made for hookups. Wanted to ask the straight world has had any success?

 

I may be too old to even comment but the apps similar to Tindr all seem to be just for hookup type stuff. I think occasionally people find further interest in someone they had what they thought was a one night stand with but its mostly for sex. I could be wrong since I was married a little before those became as popular as they are. Once in a while you may find a Chili that you want to actually date but for the most part people have the mind set that those apps arent for anything serious.

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QUOTE (ChiliIrishHammock24 @ May 27, 2016 -> 02:23 AM)
Define "luck"? I've met up with 4 girls now from online (3 Tinder, 1 OkCupid), and they all worked out well. Dated one of them, am currently talking to another one, are "friends with benefits" with another one, and the only one I haven't seen more than one time was because I met up with her while I was in Arizona for the week.

 

Luck meaning something meaningful and not sending them away in a uber the next morning.

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So my buddy just told me a hilarious relationship story today. Guy really hasnt had much luck with the women since Ive known him. He just recently starting seeing this girl who is crazy as hell but its his first girlfriend. He finally told me where he met her.

 

Casual encounters, craigslist, free BJ ad.

 

No s***

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QUOTE (RockRaines @ Jun 1, 2016 -> 08:02 PM)
So my buddy just told me a hilarious relationship story today. Guy really hasnt had much luck with the women since Ive known him. He just recently starting seeing this girl who is crazy as hell but its his first girlfriend. He finally told me where he met her.

 

Casual encounters, craigslist, free BJ ad.

 

No s***

Oh my...perhaps we will just assume she has a voracious libido and leave it there...

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QUOTE (RockRaines @ Jun 1, 2016 -> 10:02 PM)
So my buddy just told me a hilarious relationship story today. Guy really hasnt had much luck with the women since Ive known him. He just recently starting seeing this girlperson who is crazy as hell but its his first girlfriend. He finally told me where he met her this person.

 

Casual encounters, craigslist, free BJ ad.

 

No s***

 

based on the meeting place I fixed your post.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I've been away a while, and I have a pastor who can answer these questions too, but I prefer groupthink over one person's opinion.

 

There is a long story behind this, but long story short, I have been dating a girl for a while and am about to move in with her again, while there is another girl at work who I feel is a better partner for me. I don't know for sure if this "better partner" has actual feelings for me, but given the relationship we've developed as colleagues, I am fairly certain that she'd let me take her on a date, if nothing else.

 

Oh, and my current girlfriend knows that I have a crush on this girl. As we are about to move in together. We haven't moved a thing yet.

 

I have to ask this girl out for dinner if I think she's better for me, right?

 

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