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Relationship Advice Thread


witesoxfan

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QUOTE (Heads22 @ Jun 16, 2016 -> 03:03 AM)
I've been away a while, and I have a pastor who can answer these questions too, but I prefer groupthink over one person's opinion.

 

There is a long story behind this, but long story short, I have been dating a girl for a while and am about to move in with her again, while there is another girl at work who I feel is a better partner for me. I don't know for sure if this "better partner" has actual feelings for me, but given the relationship we've developed as colleagues, I am fairly certain that she'd let me take her on a date, if nothing else.

 

Oh, and my current girlfriend knows that I have a crush on this girl. As we are about to move in together. We haven't moved a thing yet.

 

I have to ask this girl out for dinner if I think she's better for me, right?

Yes and what are you doing moving in with the girl you are dating? You obviously aren't convinced she is the one for you. Why move in with her?? Ask the other one out and halt this moving in.

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QUOTE (Heads22 @ Jun 15, 2016 -> 10:03 PM)
I've been away a while, and I have a pastor who can answer these questions too, but I prefer groupthink over one person's opinion.

 

There is a long story behind this, but long story short, I have been dating a girl for a while and am about to move in with her again, while there is another girl at work who I feel is a better partner for me. I don't know for sure if this "better partner" has actual feelings for me, but given the relationship we've developed as colleagues, I am fairly certain that she'd let me take her on a date, if nothing else.

 

Oh, and my current girlfriend knows that I have a crush on this girl. As we are about to move in together. We haven't moved a thing yet.

 

I have to ask this girl out for dinner if I think she's better for me, right?

You don't want to look back 20 years from now and wonder what could've been. Take the chance. Ask the other girl on a date

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QUOTE (Heads22 @ Jun 15, 2016 -> 10:03 PM)
I've been away a while, and I have a pastor who can answer these questions too, but I prefer groupthink over one person's opinion.

 

There is a long story behind this, but long story short, I have been dating a girl for a while and am about to move in with her again, while there is another girl at work who I feel is a better partner for me. I don't know for sure if this "better partner" has actual feelings for me, but given the relationship we've developed as colleagues, I am fairly certain that she'd let me take her on a date, if nothing else.

 

Oh, and my current girlfriend knows that I have a crush on this girl. As we are about to move in together. We haven't moved a thing yet.

 

I have to ask this girl out for dinner if I think she's better for me, right?

 

Not actually what groupthink means, but I know what you are getting at.

 

I think you definitely need to ask this girl out on a date, but you also can't be doing this behind your current girlfriends back. Just tell your current girlfriend "Look, I need to just get this over with and see what happens. It's not fair to you if we move in together and I am having regrets about never seeing what "xxx" is all about. If we are meant to be, then this date with "xxx" will just give me closure with her and we can move on without be having any regrets or what-ifs". Obviously you can work on the phrasing, but you need to tell your GF and you need to angle it in a way that makes you look like a good guy by 1) Not doing it behind her back and 2) Wanting to give her your all or nothing, not 90% of your interest.

 

Besides, I am assuming this coworker knows you have a GF. You sneaking behind your GF's back to go out with her won't make her think you wouldn't do then same to her.

Edited by ChiliIrishHammock24
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QUOTE (Heads22 @ Jun 15, 2016 -> 10:03 PM)
There is a long story behind this, but long story short, I have been dating a girl for a while and am about to move in with her again, while there is another girl at work who I feel is a better partner for me. I don't know for sure if this "better partner" has actual feelings for me, but given the relationship we've developed as colleagues, I am fairly certain that she'd let me take her on a date, if nothing else.

 

Jesus.. this was wite like 5-6 years ago. I think he wound up not being with either woman, but it was a hilarious story back in the chat room days. :lol:

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  • 3 weeks later...
QUOTE (RockRaines @ Jun 16, 2016 -> 10:01 AM)
Dont move in with someone unless you really really really want to be them them every minute. otherwise you will break up and move out. I let a gf move in with me because her lease was ending and it didnt last long.

This is why I think living together prior to marriage (actually prior to proposing) is so important. You really do not know someone no matter how long you have gone out with them unless you are with them 24/7.

Edited by maggsmaggs
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  • 8 months later...

Went on a first date tonight with a girl that I met online. She was really cool, we got along really well, talked for 3 hours at the restaurant, but I feel so shallow because what I didn't notice when she sat down, I noticed when we got up to leave.

 

This girl has massive hips/ass. Like her upper body is maybe a little bigger than average, nothing that I am not ok with, but man, it honestly looks like she walks different because her hips are so big. I feel so bad. I'm going to keep talking to her and see her again to see if I can get over it, but I am already finding myself thinking of excuses to let her down for reasons other than that, obviously.

 

It probably doesn't help that my ex and I had a crazy drunk night house sitting for my aunt's huge house over the weekend. We talked about wanting to do it again sometime soon, so now I am kind of wanting to keep going with that for a little bit, even though I know it's not healthy or whatever.

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QUOTE (ChiliIrishHammock24 @ Mar 29, 2017 -> 12:41 AM)
Went on a first date tonight with a girl that I met online. She was really cool, we got along really well, talked for 3 hours at the restaurant, but I feel so shallow because what I didn't notice when she sat down, I noticed when we got up to leave.

 

This girl has massive hips/ass. Like her upper body is maybe a little bigger than average, nothing that I am not ok with, but man, it honestly looks like she walks different because her hips are so big. I feel so bad. I'm going to keep talking to her and see her again to see if I can get over it, but I am already finding myself thinking of excuses to let her down for reasons other than that, obviously.

 

It probably doesn't help that my ex and I had a crazy drunk night house sitting for my aunt's huge house over the weekend. We talked about wanting to do it again sometime soon, so now I am kind of wanting to keep going with that for a little bit, even though I know it's not healthy or whatever.

 

Well there's your excuse to the new girl if you decide you don't want to continue seeing her. Unresolved feelings for an ex. I used that as an excuse to let someone I was barely seeing down easy even though it wasn't true.

Edited by soxfan2014
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QUOTE (soxfan2014 @ Mar 29, 2017 -> 05:59 AM)
Well there's your excuse to the new girl. Unresolved feelings for an ex. I used that as an excuse to let somehow I was barely seeing dowb easy even though it wasn't true.

Keep a few on the hook anyway. Live it up.

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QUOTE (ChiliIrishHammock24 @ Mar 29, 2017 -> 12:41 AM)
Went on a first date tonight with a girl that I met online. She was really cool, we got along really well, talked for 3 hours at the restaurant, but I feel so shallow because what I didn't notice when she sat down, I noticed when we got up to leave.

 

This girl has massive hips/ass. Like her upper body is maybe a little bigger than average, nothing that I am not ok with, but man, it honestly looks like she walks different because her hips are so big. I feel so bad. I'm going to keep talking to her and see her again to see if I can get over it, but I am already finding myself thinking of excuses to let her down for reasons other than that, obviously.

 

It probably doesn't help that my ex and I had a crazy drunk night house sitting for my aunt's huge house over the weekend. We talked about wanting to do it again sometime soon, so now I am kind of wanting to keep going with that for a little bit, even though I know it's not healthy or whatever.

 

I met my gf online almost 2 years ago and before we actually met we would Skype or Oovoo. I'm not sure about you, but we both wanted to make sure we were who we said we are before driving almost 90 minutes to see each other. This allowed both of us to see each other live and show instant reaction without hiding it from each other.

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QUOTE (Yoda @ Mar 29, 2017 -> 11:49 AM)
I met my gf online almost 2 years ago and before we actually met we would Skype or Oovoo. I'm not sure about you, but we both wanted to make sure we were who we said we are before driving almost 90 minutes to see each other. This allowed both of us to see each other live and show instant reaction without hiding it from each other.

 

We are Facebook friends and she looks fine above the waist. She just happens to have wide hips. The rest of her is fine, and honestly, above the table at dinner I had no idea. Lol

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QUOTE (ChiliIrishHammock24 @ Mar 29, 2017 -> 06:41 AM)
Went on a first date tonight with a girl that I met online. She was really cool, we got along really well, talked for 3 hours at the restaurant, but I feel so shallow because what I didn't notice when she sat down, I noticed when we got up to leave.

 

This girl has massive hips/ass. Like her upper body is maybe a little bigger than average, nothing that I am not ok with, but man, it honestly looks like she walks different because her hips are so big. I feel so bad. I'm going to keep talking to her and see her again to see if I can get over it, but I am already finding myself thinking of excuses to let her down for reasons other than that, obviously.

 

It probably doesn't help that my ex and I had a crazy drunk night house sitting for my aunt's huge house over the weekend. We talked about wanting to do it again sometime soon, so now I am kind of wanting to keep going with that for a little bit, even though I know it's not healthy or whatever.

Cool post. You could remain friends and set her up with buddies. Not all meetings turn into romances. Just my take. If you are turned off by the hips then you won't want to date her.

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QUOTE (greg775 @ Mar 29, 2017 -> 08:40 PM)
Cool post. You could remain friends and set her up with buddies. Not all meetings turn into romances. Just my take. If you are turned off by the hips then you won't want to date her.

 

She will get a 2nd and 3rd date, so I'll evaluate after that. She's too cool and fun not to at least be friends with. I'll report back if anything changes, or if my opinion changes, which is very well could.

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QUOTE (ChiliIrishHammock24 @ Mar 30, 2017 -> 04:54 AM)
She will get a 2nd and 3rd date, so I'll evaluate after that. She's too cool and fun not to at least be friends with. I'll report back if anything changes, or if my opinion changes, which is very well could.

Nice. Sounds like you have a good friend or a girlfriend. Either is cool.

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QUOTE (ChiliIrishHammock24 @ Mar 29, 2017 -> 12:41 AM)
Went on a first date tonight with a girl that I met online. She was really cool, we got along really well, talked for 3 hours at the restaurant, but I feel so shallow because what I didn't notice when she sat down, I noticed when we got up to leave.

 

This girl has massive hips/ass. Like her upper body is maybe a little bigger than average, nothing that I am not ok with, but man, it honestly looks like she walks different because her hips are so big. I feel so bad. I'm going to keep talking to her and see her again to see if I can get over it, but I am already finding myself thinking of excuses to let her down for reasons other than that, obviously.

 

It probably doesn't help that my ex and I had a crazy drunk night house sitting for my aunt's huge house over the weekend. We talked about wanting to do it again sometime soon, so now I am kind of wanting to keep going with that for a little bit, even though I know it's not healthy or whatever.

 

White people... smdh

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