Relationship Advice Thread

[SoxAce]

You dirty dog, you...

 

I'm just glad she still had "definition" on her body, before she knew. She is a nice person though, so I do keep in contact occasionally asking how she and her baby are. If I knew before-hand I probably don't even hang with her.

[The Beast]

Another disaster. Went up to the bar/club again and met up with the girl and her friend. Apparently the guy that was driving the girl I'm semi-interested in has a little something going with this girl, or just rushed up to the occasion to dance with the girl. So, I got passed off to the friend and danced with the friend just to try and stay in with the other for the next night at the club, just in case things changed. Luckily, I was able to go get her a drink and sit down asking anything I possibly could to not have to dance with this friend.

 

This girl and I got to talking about life after school. Evidently she doesn't have a plan and just wants to see what comes of her career in nursing and wants to travel. None of these girls that I have met seem to have plans like mine (moving back to the suburbs and working in the city before living on my own), so I'm willing to bet that I'll be back in the city upon graduation. She didn't seem to understand where I was coming from with "quitting" the media industry but I just said that I wanted to have a family (the job was wayyy too stressful for me) and that I didn't want to have to be in a remote area for a long while after graduation with the possibility of never achieving my goals.

 

Anyway, back to the story, I was able to leave afterwards and started texting the girl I'm semi-interested in...the dialogue went something like this:

 

What do you think of her? Well, she has her priorities in line, though I just met you and wanted to get to know you more. And hinted that I'd see her tomorrow night.

 

And if this fails, then I'll just keep doing school clubs, dive into my schoolwork and follow my plan of going back to Chicago. Or just move on to the next girl, do yoga and all the alternatives to meeting women at bars/clubs. God I hate the bar scene. Too many creepy f***s there.

Edited February 27, 2010 by The Beast

[Brian]

How young is too young if you were a 30 year old dude eyeing up a younger girl?

[G&T]

How young is too young if you were a 30 year old dude eyeing up a younger girl?

 

Has to be out of college.

[Brian]

God I hate the bar scene. Too many creepy f***s there.

 

I'm 100% with you on this. I hate the bar scene and never could go up to girls in a bar and strike up a conversation. Always had to be a more mellow enviornment or meeting through mutual friends.

[Brian]

Has to be out of college.

 

She is. She is 23. I have only exchanged greetings with her but she peaked my interest in talking to her more. I'm kinda of insecure about asking out a girl that is so much younger but know people who are married to women with a bigger age gap.

[Kyyle23]

Another disaster. Went up to the bar/club again and met up with the girl and her friend. Apparently the guy that was driving the girl I'm semi-interested in has a little something going with this girl, or just rushed up to the occasion to dance with the girl. So, I got passed off to the friend and danced with the friend just to try and stay in with the other for the next night at the club, just in case things changed. Luckily, I was able to go get her a drink and sit down asking anything I possibly could to not have to dance with this friend.

 

This girl and I got to talking about life after school. Evidently she doesn't have a plan and just wants to see what comes of her career in nursing and wants to travel. None of these girls that I have met seem to have plans like mine (moving back to the suburbs and working in the city before living on my own), so I'm willing to bet that I'll be back in the city upon graduation. She didn't seem to understand where I was coming from with "quitting" the media industry but I just said that I wanted to have a family (the job was wayyy too stressful for me) and that I didn't want to have to be in a remote area for a long while after graduation with the possibility of never achieving my goals.

 

Anyway, back to the story, I was able to leave afterwards and started texting the girl I'm semi-interested in...the dialogue went something like this:

 

What do you think of her? Well, she has her priorities in line, though I just met you and wanted to get to know you more. And hinted that I'd see her tomorrow night.

 

And if this fails, then I'll just keep doing school clubs, dive into my schoolwork and follow my plan of going back to Chicago. Or just move on to the next girl, do yoga and all the alternatives to meeting women at bars/clubs. God I hate the bar scene. Too many creepy f***s there.

 

Man, you are way too far ahead of yourself. "Plans" and "Priorities" shouldnt even be entering your mind during the first meet-up(not even a date!) with a girl.

 

[The Beast]

Man, you are way too far ahead of yourself. "Plans" and "Priorities" shouldnt even be entering your mind during the first meet-up(not even a date!) with a girl.

This was with her friend that I was trying to get rid of because I honestly wasn't having fun being left alone this this girl. She probably was into me and I'm totally not into her.

[Flash Tizzle]

Another disaster. Went up to the bar/club again and met up with the girl and her friend. Apparently the guy that was driving the girl I'm semi-interested in has a little something going with this girl, or just rushed up to the occasion to dance with the girl. So, I got passed off to the friend and danced with the friend just to try and stay in with the other for the next night at the club, just in case things changed. Luckily, I was able to go get her a drink and sit down asking anything I possibly could to not have to dance with this friend.

 

This girl and I got to talking about life after school. Evidently she doesn't have a plan and just wants to see what comes of her career in nursing and wants to travel. None of these girls that I have met seem to have plans like mine (moving back to the suburbs and working in the city before living on my own), so I'm willing to bet that I'll be back in the city upon graduation. She didn't seem to understand where I was coming from with "quitting" the media industry but I just said that I wanted to have a family (the job was wayyy too stressful for me) and that I didn't want to have to be in a remote area for a long while after graduation with the possibility of never achieving my goals.

 

Anyway, back to the story, I was able to leave afterwards and started texting the girl I'm semi-interested in...the dialogue went something like this:

 

What do you think of her? Well, she has her priorities in line, though I just met you and wanted to get to know you more. And hinted that I'd see her tomorrow night.

 

And if this fails, then I'll just keep doing school clubs, dive into my schoolwork and follow my plan of going back to Chicago. Or just move on to the next girl, do yoga and all the alternatives to meeting women at bars/clubs. God I hate the bar scene. Too many creepy f***s there.

Beastly, if this girl liked you she wouldn't have pushed you off onto a friend. Additionally, as Kyle suggested, when you begin discussing priorities in life (even including, however innocent it may be, the phrase "wanted to have a family") it may be too much, too quick.

 

I can understand the perception of bars as a terrible place to meet quality women, but as someone with vast experience in drinking (and creeping), it's all about location. Don't limit yourself to certain areas. People our age, that's what they do on weekends. It doesn't define them.

Edited February 28, 2010 by Flash Tizzle

[The Beast]

Beastly, if this girl liked you she wouldn't have pushed you off onto a friend. Additionally, as Kyle suggested, when you begin discussing priorities in life (even including, however innocent it may be, the phrase "wanted to have a family") it may be too much, too quick.

 

I can understand the perception of bars as a terrible place to meet quality women, but as someone with vast experience in drinking (and creeping), it's all about location. Don't limit yourself to certain areas. People our age, that's what they do on weekends. It doesn't define them.

She gets one more chance this evening. To be honest, I don't know what else I'd like to say to this girl. I try and see what she's interested in and I got no information that would lead to any sort of attraction whatsoever. I think that might be why I haven't enjoyed college...I have never found the kids who I gel well with, and its kind of sad. I feel sometimes like I had better relationships in high school and that the lifelong friends that I've had are those from high school, as sad as that may be. The whole family thing was just brought up as a reason of why I couldn't be a reporter.

 

I would much rather hang with a small group of friends, people that I know, that I'm comfortable with, hanging out and enjoying a movie or something than just throw money at alcohol that I honestly don't like. I think this is why I felt the void when I had the breakup, all of what I enjoyed doing got thrown out the window. I know those days will come back again, but the question is when?

 

I'll try another bar if that is what you mean by location. I never said it defines people. I just think I'll have more fun meeting people in something I'm interested in like exercise over a game that I might have to play on the weekends.

 

P.S. Spoke to a fireman/paramedic today and I'm shadowing him as well as a high school guidance counselor over break to see what they do. Sounds bad ass.

Edited February 28, 2010 by The Beast

[iamshack]

She gets one more chance this evening. To be honest, I don't know what else I'd like to say to this girl. I try and see what she's interested in and I got no information that would lead to any sort of attraction whatsoever. I think that might be why I haven't enjoyed college...I have never found the kids who I gel well with, and its kind of sad. I feel sometimes like I had better relationships in high school and that the lifelong friends that I've had are those from high school, as sad as that may be. The whole family thing was just brought up as a reason of why I couldn't be a reporter.

 

I would much rather hang with a small group of friends, people that I know, that I'm comfortable with, hanging out and enjoying a movie or something than just throw money at alcohol that I honestly don't like. I think this is why I felt the void when I had the breakup, all of what I enjoyed doing got thrown out the window. I know those days will come back again, but the question is when?

 

I'll try another bar if that is what you mean by location. I never said it defines people. I just think I'll have more fun meeting people in something I'm interested in like exercise over a game that I might have to play on the weekends.

 

P.S. Spoke to a fireman/paramedic today and I'm shadowing him as well as a high school guidance counselor over break to see what they do. Sounds bad ass.

Ross, when you first meet (or see) girls, you need to pick out little things about them that attracts you to them, like the way they dress, the way they laugh, silly little things like that. Enjoy that for a while. Then when you start needing more substance, you seek it out, but you do it slowly. As Kyle said, don't try and get ahead of yourself and find out what they are going to name the children you have together. Just take it slllllloooooowwwlllllyyyy at first and work your way more into things...

[The Beast]

I don't think that I was clear in my first post. The girl I was talking to was the girl I'm interested in's friend. Thus, I had to dance with and talk to this girl. And I wanted to get rid of her and get through the night because I felt a bad hookup coming. I have no attraction to her. However...

 

Tonight was a bit different. Went to the bar first and had several good opportunities to screw up, but I held my own and eased into situations with her. Had a lot of time to talk and get to know her. Also bought her a few drinks which I doubt she was expecting and felt like she owed me something. Not at all, the night was great. Got to dance with her the whole night and had her and her friend (and the friend's hookup) over for a few more birthday shots (her friends birthday).

 

It was a good night and she and I might hang out next weekend watching How I Met Your Mother and getting dinner.

[iamshack]

In a strange turn of events, I found out tonight that a guy and his wife I know are swingers. I'm not very good friends with them and I have no reason to believe I might have a chance with the wife, but I instantly want to find out. That weird?

That you want to find out? No.

 

If you try, yes.

[The Beast]

Nail the friend. Get yourself laid.

f*** it. I had a better night last night. I'd only nail that friend with a blind fold on.

[knightni]

Beast got Wingman-ed.

[The Beast]

Beast got Wingman-ed.

Evidently some people didn't read about last night. Go back a page, read my most current post about last night. Things were a lot better and I didn't get wingman-ed. I had a blast and have the opportunity to hang out again next week. Hell to the yes.

[knightni]

Evidently some people didn't read about last night. Go back a page, read my most current post about last night. Things were a lot better and I didn't get wingman-ed. I had a blast and have the opportunity to hang out again next week. Hell to the yes.

You had someone that thinks of you as a friend invite you to a bar where you got dumped onto the ugly friend while she got with another guy.

 

Sounds like a version of Wingman-ing to me.

[iamshack]

You had someone that thinks of you as a friend invite you to a bar where you got dumped onto the ugly friend while she got with another guy.

 

Sounds like a version of Wingman-ing to me.

I think he's saying he hung out with the one he likes last night...

[knightni]

I think he's saying he hung out with the one he likes last night...

I was just saying that the way she reacted to him before and after the first time, it was more like a friend interested in setting him up with someone, than it was a girl interested in seeing him.

[witesoxfan]

Made out with some chick I met on Friday two straight nights. I feel like an idiot. Nice tits though.

[iamshack]

I was just saying that the way she reacted to him before and after the first time, it was more like a friend interested in setting him up with someone, than it was a girl interested in seeing him.

Oh, clearly. I don't know how I misunderstood.

[witesoxfan]

Made out with some chick I met on Friday two straight nights. I feel like an idiot. Nice tits though.

 

I figure I should clarify this a bit.

 

Talking about the same girl originally, I've taken the advice to some extent, but I've still been hanging out with her quite a bit, and everything was going great. It felt like we were moving in the right direction and everything was going swimmingly, and it felt like we were back together. Then on Thursday, she drops this "I like being single and being able to flirt" line, and I got pissed. So I basically just followed this other girl home, and we talked for a while, and then started making out. Called her up last night again after the original girl was ignoring me, and we made out, some clothes came off, and we did basically everything other than f***.

 

I'm OK with moving on, but I just did it poorly, and I feel terrible about it. I don't even care about this girl, and I care so much about the other. I'm stuck in this idealistic romantic mindset that me and the original girl will get everything worked out, we'll get hitched and ride into the sunset on a white horse. I was just confused, and now I'm depressed too.

[iamshack]

I figure I should clarify this a bit.

 

Talking about the same girl originally, I've taken the advice to some extent, but I've still been hanging out with her quite a bit, and everything was going great. It felt like we were moving in the right direction and everything was going swimmingly, and it felt like we were back together. Then on Thursday, she drops this "I like being single and being able to flirt" line, and I got pissed. So I basically just followed this other girl home, and we talked for a while, and then started making out. Called her up last night again after the original girl was ignoring me, and we made out, some clothes came off, and we did basically everything other than f***.

 

I'm OK with moving on, but I just did it poorly, and I feel terrible about it. I don't even care about this girl, and I care so much about the other. I'm stuck in this idealistic romantic mindset that me and the original girl will get everything worked out, we'll get hitched and ride into the sunset on a white horse. I was just confused, and now I'm depressed too.

At least you were able to mess around with the new girl. When I am having difficulties, I can hardly drag myself off the mat to eat.

 

It's just natural, Blake. Give yourself a break...

 

Eventually, you'll realize you're tired of feeling sorry for yourself and pick yourself up, brush yourself off, and get back to your life. But it often just takes some time, no matter what you do.

 

Kinda like trying to sober up....the only cure is time, broseph.

[witesoxfan]

Yeah I know. It just sucks right now.

[iamshack]

I hear ya brother...believe me, I hear ya....honestly, the only thing that seems to work for me is forcing yourself into trying a new hobby or something...