Relationship Advice Thread

[SoxAce]

Sounds like you should be the one giving out the advice, not asking for it

 

That is just called experience..

 

I never think I would need advice at all with dealing with women (especially from strangers, not to mention alot of experience), but sometimes it's good to read other people's opinions/views on matters. Alot of times, I'm surprised on some answers I thought of never doing before.

Edited March 25, 2010 by SoxAce

[iamshack]

I've actually already did that when we were in the beginning stages of hooking up. Whoops

So just so I understand this better, you're saying you slept with your current girlfriend's best friend shortly after you started hooking up with your girlfriend?

 

And to the best of your knowledge, she doesn't know this?

[Flash Tizzle]

So just so I understand this better, you're saying you slept with your current girlfriend's best friend shortly after you started hooking up with your girlfriend?

 

And to the best of your knowledge, she doesn't know this?

Yeah, that does sound like a spicy meatball. Although in my world, until two people are officially dating everything is fair game. His gf probably doesn't feel that way, but I guarantee she wouldn't have been able to keep it bottled up had she known. It would have been thrown out in the open already.

[Buehrle>Wood]

Oh, she knows about it. It was just a weird situation

[BigSqwert]

Oh, she knows about it. It was just a weird situation

He forgot to tell you all that her best friend is her father.

[SoxAce]

Although in my world, until two people are officially dating everything is fair game.

 

 

Exactly.

[iamshack]

He forgot to tell you all that her best friend is her father.

Hah, funny s***, BS.

 

Ok, so you have to explain this situation BW....how did this happen and how does she know?

 

And if you already used your get out of jail free card, it sounds like you are up the river without a paddle on this one, my friend...

[Controlled Chaos]

He forgot to tell you all that her best friend is her father.

hahahaha

[Buehrle>Wood]

Oh and thanks for the replies everyone I've been meaning to get to specific responses but my powers out so I'm posting from my phone. Anyways I decided to confront her about it. I texted her and am awaiting a phone calll shortly. Basically I'm gonna play the blame game on her. I guess that sounds bad but I don't want to come off as controlling. I'm basically gonna say oh I just couldn't believe a person like you would give a scumbag like him the satisfaction af any sort of response and go from there.

I'm pretty certain she's just doing this to try and make me feel jealous or something, so I figure ill just turn it on her and make her feel bad for treatting me like that.

[RockRaines]

Oh and thanks for the replies everyone I've been meaning to get to specific responses but my powers out so I'm posting from my phone. Anyways I decided to confront her about it. I texted her and am awaiting a phone calll shortly. Basically I'm gonna play the blame game on her. I guess that sounds bad but I don't want to come off as controlling. I'm basically gonna say oh I just couldn't believe a person like you would give a scumbag like him the satisfaction af any sort of response and go from there.

I'm pretty certain she's just doing this to try and make me feel jealous or something, so I figure ill just turn it on her and make her feel bad for treatting me like that.

Ah thats good. If she starts defending him then its time to worry.

[iamshack]

I'm not sure how you "play the blame game on her" but don't come off as controlling?

[knightni]

I think that his chosen approach is bordering on relationship suicide. It's never the woman's fault (even if it is).

[Buehrle>Wood]

I'm not sure how you "play the blame game on her" but don't come off as controlling?

I don't know if controlling was the right word, but basically I'm gonna avoid directly attacking him to avoid coming off sounding jealous or something. I'm just going to say she's the one at fault here for contacting him back, no matter how minor it was.

 

And if that is controlling, I don't mean it to sound like it is. She's one of those that has mostly friends who are boys. I think that may be hard for some to get along with, but I've never really had a problem with it. So I figure one exception isn't too much.

[nitetrain8601]

I think that his chosen approach is bordering on relationship suicide. It's never the woman's fault (even if it is).

 

Yeah it is. With that said, how many times a week do they hang out or talk?

[Kyyle23]

I think that his chosen approach is bordering on relationship suicide. It's never the woman's fault (even if it is).

 

LMAO. Yes. Yes it is. If you dont let them know it is, then the balls are stored neatly in a locked box at the bottom of the purse

[Buehrle>Wood]

I think that his chosen approach is bordering on relationship suicide. It's never the woman's fault (even if it is).

It is what it is. It's caused me enough stress already and I'm still not sure why. I'm really not concerned with her cheating or anything. She's in absolute love with me, were together everyday, and in constant contact when were not. I guess what I want out of this is for her to genuinely hate this guy, because he is a not so good person, disrespected her in the past, and still has bad intentions now. Yes, I'm gonna be pissed if she defends him in any way and will definitely be concerned if she does. Now those last sentences did sound a little controlling. Oh well, I'm gonna roll with it, it bothers me that much for some reason.

Edited March 25, 2010 by Buehrle>Wood

[iamshack]

LMAO. Yes. Yes it is. If you dont let them know it is, then the balls are stored neatly in a locked box at the bottom of the purse

This is absolutely true. And the thing is, most of the time, they WANT you to tell them when they are wrong and check them on their bs, otherwise, they don't respect you and lose interest.

[Buehrle>Wood]

Wow, then I definitely don't see why you care.

 

And to put this in a little more perspective, I've had a girlfriend who wasn't very fond of a couple of my friends and didn't want me to hang out with them much. That pissed me off, especially since she assumed she had a right to tell me who I could and couldn't be friends with. You say this girl has a lot of male friends, so the situation is sort of similar.

Yeah, as I said, I'm not sure why I care so much either. Perhaps I'm more concerned than I care to admit, I don't know.

[iamshack]

Yeah, as I said, I'm not sure why I care so much either. Perhaps I'm more concerned than I care to admit, I don't know.

Did she call you yet?

[witesoxfan]

Yeah, as I said, I'm not sure why I care so much either. Perhaps I'm more concerned than I care to admit, I don't know.

 

It's human nature. This dude has obviously hooked up with her in the past, so, even if there is no chance it happens again, it still feels like it could in the back of your mind. I think a lot of guys, when put in a situation like this, are generally insecure and defensive, even if it is over the top at times. Maybe you look back on this at some point down the road and realize how ridiculous it is and you laugh at it, but at the moment, it still sticks in the back of your mind and you want to deal with it and kill it and be over and done with it and you don't want to have a shred of doubt about it.

[dasox24]

It is what it is. It's caused me enough stress already and I'm still not sure why. I'm really not concerned with her cheating or anything. She's in absolute love with me, were together everyday, and in constant contact when were not. I guess what I want out of this is for her to genuinely hate this guy, because he is a not so good person, disrespected her in the past, and still has bad intentions now. Yes, I'm gonna be pissed if she defends him in any way and will definitely be concerned if she does. Now those last sentences did sound a little controlling. Oh well, I'm gonna roll with it, it bothers me that much for some reason.

Be careful thinking this. I was under this same thought for awhile and then my ex broke up with me out of nowhere one day. We were together every day and always in contact when we weren't. I mean, she spent the night at my apartment roughly 6 out of 7 nights of the week for months. At one point, she had stayed with me 14 straight nights (sidenote: this was dumb and I wouldn't do that again). And then boom! Breaks up with me one night saying her heart wasn't in the relationship, which confused the hell out of me b/c she was the one always wanting to be together. Said she was missing out on relationships with her friends, etc.

 

I still think it was b/c of another guy (though she never started dating anyone for a few months after that). But one night about a month after we broke up, I was with her and she was texting a bunch. I was watching TV and happened to look at her phone b/c she looked like she was angling it away from me (e.g. so i couldn't see it), but I could and right before she sent a text, I read it. It said "she could never be what i could have been" and it was to one of her really good guy friends (who also happened to like her). So basically, I'm pretty sure she tried to get with this guy but he had a different girl at that point. b**** was still hooking up with me and leading me on saying things like "i feel right when i'm with you" and "i've been thinking a lot about getting back together." Meanwhile, it seems as if I wasn't the only guy on her radar.

Edited March 26, 2010 by dasox24

[witesoxfan]

Be careful thinking this. I was under this same thought for awhile and then my ex broke up with me out of nowhere one day. We were together every day and always in contact when we weren't. I mean, she spent the night at my apartment roughly 6 out of 7 nights of the week for months. At one point, she had stayed with me 14 straight nights (sidenote: this was dumb and I wouldn't do that again). And then boom! Breaks up with me one night saying her heart wasn't in the relationship, which confused the hell out of me b/c she was the one always wanting to be together. Said she was missing out on relationships with her friends, etc.

 

I still think it was b/c of another guy (though she never started dating anyone for a few months after that). But one night about a month after we broke up, I was with her and she was texting a bunch. I was watching TV and happened to look at her phone b/c she looked like she was angling it away from me (e.g. so i couldn't see it), but I could and right before she sent a text, I read it. It said "she could never be what i could have been" and it was to one of her really good guy friends (who also happened to like her). So basically, I'm pretty sure she tried to get with this guy but he had a different girl at that point. b**** was still hooking up with me and leading me on saying things like "i feel right when i'm with you" and "i've been thinking a lot about getting back together." Meanwhile, it seems as if I wasn't the only guy on her radar.

 

I would say be cautious more than be careful. Get a good feel of the situation. It is entirely possible that she does like the guy as a friend, even if he is a scumbag.

[iamshack]

Honestly, you guys are over-analyzing the s*** out of this.

 

Obviously, anything can happen, and does happen, in relationships.

 

If you are in one, there is some level or risk you are taking by entrusting your feelings to another person and allowing yourself to be vulnerable with another person.

 

The same reasons that relationships can grow into such close bonds are the same reasons that people can get really hurt in them.

 

But if you're going to be in one, you've got to make the choice to allow yourself to trust and be vulnerable, or else there is not much of a point.

[SoxAce]

Honestly, you guys are over-analyzing the s*** out of this.

 

This is soxtalk, what did you expect?

[dasox24]

I would say be cautious more than be careful. Get a good feel of the situation. It is entirely possible that she does like the guy as a friend, even if he is a scumbag.

Yeah, that's what I mean... And I'm sure his situation is nothing to worry about. I just shared my experience (even if it is extreme) to show that weird stuff can happen even if you think a relationship is great. I think in most cases if a girl is that "into" you, then she really likes you.