Relationship Advice Thread

[bigruss]

So, its been about 2 1/2 years, and about 2 years of that long distance, and Im ready to throw in the towel. Problem is, she isnt and I have noooo idea how to do a decent break up.

 

Any past experiences to help out? I dont want to be an asshole, but at the same time my heart isnt in it anymore and I dont know how to say that without being a douche (I mean, its been over 2 years and now to say my heart isnt in it just sounds bad to me). Pile on the fact that we never see each other, neither during the semesters nor during summer, except for a weekend every two months, it just sucks and Im ready to move on.

[bigruss]

You're going on a first date with a girl. It's either a blind date or a girl you barely know. Where do you go??

For college dates, this one guy has success taking girls out during happy hours, so getting good deals on food and drinks, plus its a very social time. If he likes her after that, he'll take her out to a more expensive date.

[The Critic]

So, its been about 2 1/2 years, and about 2 years of that long distance, and Im ready to throw in the towel. Problem is, she isnt and I have noooo idea how to do a decent break up.

 

Any past experiences to help out? I dont want to be an asshole, but at the same time my heart isnt in it anymore and I dont know how to say that without being a douche (I mean, its been over 2 years and now to say my heart isnt in it just sounds bad to me). Pile on the fact that we never see each other, neither during the semesters nor during summer, except for a weekend every two months, it just sucks and Im ready to move on.

I don't think what you said is asshole-ish at all. Your heart's not in it and you never see each other. Those are both solid reasons to end it. Be honest - there's no explanation that won't hurt her, but if you're honest and compassionate about it you can walk away with your head high.

[bigruss]

Well, after putting it off another night last night, I finally made the call and ended it. I really hope I was sincere to her, and ended it in a good way, its the least she deserves (I wasnt mad at her, in a fight, jealous, or anything, it just wasnt right anymore).

 

I told her it wasnt fair for one of us to not be in it 100%, and that nothing she did was the cause for it. I just wasnt feeling it lately, and I gave time and thought to the decision over the past few months to make sure it wasnt just a down moment, but really a lack of feelings for her as a girlfriend. I said I hope you understand why, and that these few years have been great and I wouldnt change a thing about them.

 

I told her that I am open to being friends still, but she didnt know how that would work, and I was said I didnt know either but she is still a great person.

 

Feels weird, but right at the same time.

[T R U]

Dinner and a movie or dinner and drinks. Don't drop more than $150-200 on the night but don't come off as cheap either.

 

$150-200!?

 

Where are you eating dinner?

[FlaSoxxJim]

$150-200!?

 

Where are you eating dinner?

 

Hell, I was spending Controlled Chaos' dough, not mine.

 

[southsider2k5]

Hell, I was spending Controlled Chaos' dough, not mine.

 

 

Just like a Democrat spending someone else's money...

[FlaSoxxJim]

Just like a Democrat spending someone else's money...

 

 

[Controlled Chaos]

Hell, I was spending Controlled Chaos' dough, not mine.

 

Doh!

[2nd_city_saint787]

I dont know where they relationship thread went that i posted about this girl who i hung out with damn near every day and was madly in love with her but she just wanted to be best friends....well anyway since the last time i seen her the sox are 26-6 before when we were hangin everyday 24-32....she wants to hang out tomorrow cause its my birthday but she seems to be bad luck, i dont think i wanna see her till the sox are crowned champs hah

[BrenBlackwood]

I dont know where they relationship thread went that i posted about this girl who i hung out with damn near every day and was madly in love with her but she just wanted to be best friends....well anyway since the last time i seen her the sox are 26-6 before when we were hangin everyday 24-32....she wants to hang out tomorrow cause its my birthday but she seems to be bad luck, i dont think i wanna see her till the sox are crowned champs hah

 

 

Yehh ...don't do it!! Do you really wanna be responsible for them suckin' it up over a girl who just wants to be your friend?!?! ..If she's you're friend, she will wait!! LOL hahaha

 

BTW ...Happy Birthday!!

[southsider2k5]

No girl is worth a winning streak. Keep your priorities straight man!

[Pants Rowland]

 

Right around 1:48 - "Never f*** with a winning streak"

[SoxFanForever]

I was actually looking for that thread as well. I've got myself in a confusing situation.

 

There's a girl I met through my co-worker about a year back. I hadn't seen her for a long time until the beginning of May when I invited her and her friend out along with a bunch of others for my birthday. We ended up kissing, had a good time, she gave me her number, etc.

 

A few days later I called her and talked to her, asking if she wanted to get together. She says she isn't over her ex that she was in a long relationship with and wanted to be friends.

 

I see her last night for the first time since then when I was out with a group of friends (I invited her roommate to join us and she came along). Well, ended up kissing again, she was very flirty. However, I know she is supposed to go see her ex sometime in the next week or two out of town.

 

Do I make another move and risk rejection again? Wait for her to make a move? Thoughts?

 

 

Quick edit: don't mess with the win streak!

Edited July 12, 2010 by SoxFanForever

[Reddy]

I dont know where they relationship thread went that i posted about this girl who i hung out with damn near every day and was madly in love with her but she just wanted to be best friends....well anyway since the last time i seen her the sox are 26-6 before when we were hangin everyday 24-32....she wants to hang out tomorrow cause its my birthday but she seems to be bad luck, i dont think i wanna see her till the sox are crowned champs hah

dude I hadn't thought about it but now that you mention it - I just had a very similar experience and though it's not quite as staggering as yours - we've been 12-4 since we (read: she) decided to go the friends route.

 

ooh, how bout this - our OFFENSE has really come around since that. U and me bro, let's keep the streak alive!

[Reddy]

I was actually looking for that thread as well. I've got myself in a confusing situation.

 

There's a girl I met through my co-worker about a year back. I hadn't seen her for a long time until the beginning of May when I invited her and her friend out along with a bunch of others for my birthday. We ended up kissing, had a good time, she gave me her number, etc.

 

A few days later I called her and talked to her, asking if she wanted to get together. She says she isn't over her ex that she was in a long relationship with and wanted to be friends.

 

I see her last night for the first time since then when I was out with a group of friends (I invited her roommate to join us and she came along). Well, ended up kissing again, she was very flirty. However, I know she is supposed to go see her ex sometime in the next week or two out of town.

 

Do I make another move and risk rejection again? Wait for her to make a move? Thoughts?

 

 

Quick edit: don't mess with the win streak!

she's not interested brother. i know it sucks, but i just got done dealing with a girl sending me ALLLL sorts of mixed messages, but at the end of the day, girls like random hookups just as much as guys. Just cut contact entirely. If she contacts YOU, cross that bridge then, otherwise, move on.

[2nd_city_saint787]

like i said before she wants to hang on my birthday, which is the all star break so no games are gonna be played, nothing would happen right.f***, i dont know if i should risk it

[WilliamTell]

I sort of have the opposite going with a girl right now. Once I really started talking to her in mid June, the Sox have been on fire. Only problem is she's over 5 years younger than me and I'm 24. So I'm not a huge fan of the age difference, but if the Sox can keep it up, I need to keep talking to her, plus I'm starting to like her anyway, haha.

[SoxAce]

like i said before she wants to hang on my birthday, which is the all star break so no games are gonna be played, nothing would happen right.f***, i dont know if i should risk it

 

Ya it's the break. I'm sure Konerko and Thornton might be terrible at the all-star game, but hey if you don't see her when we get back to business (we still gotta win 2 to have another 10 game win streak) it's all good. American league better win though.

[Heads22]

Is ganja the way to a girl's heart? It seems to kick things off.

[Controlled Chaos]

I was actually looking for that thread as well. I've got myself in a confusing situation.

 

There's a girl I met through my co-worker about a year back. I hadn't seen her for a long time until the beginning of May when I invited her and her friend out along with a bunch of others for my birthday. We ended up kissing, had a good time, she gave me her number, etc.

 

A few days later I called her and talked to her, asking if she wanted to get together. She says she isn't over her ex that she was in a long relationship with and wanted to be friends.

 

I see her last night for the first time since then when I was out with a group of friends (I invited her roommate to join us and she came along). Well, ended up kissing again, she was very flirty. However, I know she is supposed to go see her ex sometime in the next week or two out of town.

 

Do I make another move and risk rejection again? Wait for her to make a move? Thoughts?

 

 

Quick edit: don't mess with the win streak!

 

Do I make another move and risk rejection again? Nope.

 

Wait for her to make a move? Not sure what you mean by wait?? If it's "I'm not going to pursue any other girls, cause this one may call" Then HELL NO!! In fact, I hereby challenge you to talk to a new girl in the next 7 days.(I know a challenge from me means s*** to you..but pretend it does and go for it.)

 

Thoughts? If the original one makes a move, great...have some fun and don't take it to mean anything. She wasn't over her ex back in May...it's now July and she's going out of town to see him... As Milkman so eloquently put it....she's going to get stuffed.

 

 

FYI--old thread: http://www.soxtalk.com/forums/index.php?sh...6154&st=750

Edited July 12, 2010 by Controlled Chaos

[2nd_city_saint787]

Is ganja the way to a girl's heart? It seems to kick things off.

 

 

 

hahaha what????? i wish it was ive got lots of it....and its my birthday why am i not high yet??? f*** this im out

[Reddy]

Do I make another move and risk rejection again? Nope.

Wait for her to make a move? Not sure what you mean by wait?? If it's "I'm not going to pursue any other girls, cause this one may call" Then HELL NO!! In fact, I hereby challenge you to talk to a new girl in the next 7 days.(I know a challenge from me means s*** to you..but pretend it does and go for it.)

Thoughts? If the original one makes a move, great...have some fun and don't take it to mean anything. She wasn't over her ex back in May...it's now July and she's going out of town to see him... As Milkman so eloquently put it....she's going to get stuffed.

 

 

FYI--old thread: http://www.soxtalk.com/forums/index.php?sh...6154&st=750

f*** 7 days. do it tonight.

[Controlled Chaos]

f*** 7 days. do it tonight.

[BrenBlackwood]

I was actually looking for that thread as well. I've got myself in a confusing situation.

 

There's a girl I met through my co-worker about a year back. I hadn't seen her for a long time until the beginning of May when I invited her and her friend out along with a bunch of others for my birthday. We ended up kissing, had a good time, she gave me her number, etc.

 

A few days later I called her and talked to her, asking if she wanted to get together. She says she isn't over her ex that she was in a long relationship with and wanted to be friends.

 

I see her last night for the first time since then when I was out with a group of friends (I invited her roommate to join us and she came along). Well, ended up kissing again, she was very flirty. However, I know she is supposed to go see her ex sometime in the next week or two out of town.

 

Do I make another move and risk rejection again? Wait for her to make a move? Thoughts?

 

 

Quick edit: don't mess with the win streak!

 

 

Just thought I'd offer some advice from a female's POV .....Leave her alone! She's got baggage (the ex)! She's playing head games with you, unfortunately, that's one of the greatest powers of a woman ..her ability to know just exactly what she has to do to keep you interested without having to commit. You, are a "back burner" guy, her reserve, so to speak ..why would you settle for that? She's not over the ex ..A.K.A. even if she did commit to you, she would cheat on you with him in a heart beat! ..let her go man, let her go! Trying to hold on to something that doesn't want to be kept, only gets you dragged through the dirt!! DO NOT pursue ..if the occasional flirt n make out is what you're looking for, then that's what you'll have when you run into her ..but anything more than that, she's no good for it. I say these things, not to discourage you, but just to offer a dose of honesty from the female perspective!!! I hope it helped ..even if it's just a smidge!!