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Relationship Advice Thread


witesoxfan

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QUOTE (girlslikebaseballtoo#26 @ Jul 12, 2010 -> 12:59 PM)
Just thought I'd offer some advice from a female's POV .....Leave her alone! She's got baggage (the ex)! She's playing head games with you, unfortunately, that's one of the greatest powers of a woman ..her ability to know just exactly what she has to do to keep you interested without having to commit. You, are a "back burner" guy, her reserve, so to speak ..why would you settle for that? She's not over the ex ..A.K.A. even if she did commit to you, she would cheat on you with him in a heart beat! ..let her go man, let her go! Trying to hold on to something that doesn't want to be kept, only gets you dragged through the dirt!! DO NOT pursue ..if the occasional flirt n make out is what you're looking for, then that's what you'll have when you run into her ..but anything more than that, she's no good for it. I say these things, not to discourage you, but just to offer a dose of honesty from the female perspective!!! I hope it helped ..even if it's just a smidge!!

I love you. Great perspective. He could keep her on the back burner for a booty call, but thats about all you would get from this one. Friends with benefits.

Edited by RockRaines
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QUOTE (RockRaines @ Jul 12, 2010 -> 01:03 PM)
I love you. Great perspective. He could keep her on the back burner for a booty call, but thats about all you would get from this one. Friends with benefits.

if that. Seems to me she probably wouldn't take it further than the makeout.

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QUOTE (Milkman delivers @ Jul 12, 2010 -> 01:24 PM)
As a female, do you also believe she's going to be shacking up with the ex when she visits him? I mean, I am 100% positive about that.

 

 

Yes, I do!

 

If she's still hung up on him and he wants to bone her down, she'll do whatever it takes to make him happy and be in his good graces. Chances are they will have sex, but he obviously doesn't want her or he'd be with her ..so she's the one being strung along right now ..i'd just leave her alone and let her figure it out on her own!

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QUOTE (girlslikebaseballtoo#26 @ Jul 12, 2010 -> 12:59 PM)
She's got baggage (the ex)! She's playing head games with you, unfortunately, that's one of the greatest powers of a woman ..her ability to know just exactly what she has to do to keep you interested without having to commit. You, are a "back burner" guy, her reserve, so to speak ..why would you settle for that? She's not over the ex ..A.K.A. even if she did commit to you, she would cheat on you with him in a heart beat! ..let her go man, let her go! Trying to hold on to something that doesn't want to be kept, only gets you dragged through the dirt!! DO NOT pursue ..if the occasional flirt n make out is what you're looking for, then that's what you'll have when you run into her ..but anything more than that, she's no good for it. I say these things, not to discourage you, but just to offer a dose of honesty from the female perspective!!! I hope it helped ..even if it's just a smidge!!

 

This is 100 percent true, although reading it makes me sad because other than the part about the other person being willing to cheat (which I wouldn't do), the perspective of the girl in this sounds a lot like the way i've handled situtations with women in the past. :unsure:

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Alcohol is. My current relationship started on when I met my girl and was completely hammered at a total dive bar. We drunkenly hooked up and I barely remember any of it. How romantic.

QUOTE (Heads22 @ Jul 12, 2010 -> 06:27 AM)
Is ganja the way to a girl's heart? It seems to kick things off.
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QUOTE (docsox24 @ Jul 13, 2010 -> 12:19 PM)
yes they are going to be for sure. sex with the ex is great cause you never know if its the last time

Sex with the ex isn't always good though. How many here have had to rehash their breakup because of what was supposed to just be a little drunken fun? I know I have...as if breakin up with someone doesn't suck the first time...you have to do it again. Still worth it though...especially if she's trying to prove something to you. :)

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so this girl who i had a fling with (i was the one who was more into it than her - suck - and we broke it off) anyway - we still hang out and we're trying to do the friends thing cuz she's cool and well connected (i mean what?) but I realized this evening that she's a GREAT wingman.

 

we were both called back for the same show - both actors - and we're there all evening. I'm reading for the role opposite of her, and the fact that we know each other brings really great chemistry to it. I ALSO read with this other girl, really cute, but so my time was spent being pulled between both of them, trying to practice with each of them equally while waiting to go in. I was flirting with this new girl and casually added that there was history between me and girl A, who kept coming over to pry me away from her. Long story short, I ended up getting the new girl's number. Now girl A had no clue she was being a wingman, but the end result was the same - so it leads me to ask...

 

Do you think women can be good wingmen? I'm of the opinion that they're the best kind of wingman - but I'm curious what other people think.

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QUOTE (Reddy @ Jul 13, 2010 -> 10:10 PM)
so this girl who i had a fling with (i was the one who was more into it than her - suck - and we broke it off) anyway - we still hang out and we're trying to do the friends thing cuz she's cool and well connected (i mean what?) but I realized this evening that she's a GREAT wingman.

 

we were both called back for the same show - both actors - and we're there all evening. I'm reading for the role opposite of her, and the fact that we know each other brings really great chemistry to it. I ALSO read with this other girl, really cute, but so my time was spent being pulled between both of them, trying to practice with each of them equally while waiting to go in. I was flirting with this new girl and casually added that there was history between me and girl A, who kept coming over to pry me away from her. Long story short, I ended up getting the new girl's number. Now girl A had no clue she was being a wingman, but the end result was the same - so it leads me to ask...

 

Do you think women can be good wingmen? I'm of the opinion that they're the best kind of wingman - but I'm curious what other people think.

A woman is attracted to a guy another woman is seemingly attracted to. It makes her think, hmm, there must be something to this guy, because that girl is obviously interested in him for some reason.

 

It's the same as when you see a girl, and she might just seem so-so, but then you see some good-looking dudes interested in her, and you think, hmm, she must be really good at _____ or else why would those dudes be hitting on her?

 

It's quite the phenomenon.

 

Edit: one of the reasons wearing a wedding ring can work as a great prop...

Edited by iamshack
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QUOTE (Reddy @ Jul 13, 2010 -> 11:10 PM)
so this girl who i had a fling with (i was the one who was more into it than her - suck - and we broke it off) anyway - we still hang out and we're trying to do the friends thing cuz she's cool and well connected (i mean what?) but I realized this evening that she's a GREAT wingman.

 

we were both called back for the same show - both actors - and we're there all evening. I'm reading for the role opposite of her, and the fact that we know each other brings really great chemistry to it. I ALSO read with this other girl, really cute, but so my time was spent being pulled between both of them, trying to practice with each of them equally while waiting to go in. I was flirting with this new girl and casually added that there was history between me and girl A, who kept coming over to pry me away from her. Long story short, I ended up getting the new girl's number. Now girl A had no clue she was being a wingman, but the end result was the same - so it leads me to ask...

 

Do you think women can be good wingmen? I'm of the opinion that they're the best kind of wingman - but I'm curious what other people think.

 

ONLY if the girl knows what she is doing. But they can be damn good.

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QUOTE (SoxAce @ Jul 12, 2010 -> 12:23 AM)
Ya it's the break. I'm sure Konerko and Thornton might be terrible at the all-star game, but hey if you don't see her when we get back to business (we still gotta win 2 to have another 10 game win streak) it's all good. American league better win though. :D

 

Yikes... I need some lottery tickets.

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QUOTE (Reddy @ Jul 13, 2010 -> 11:10 PM)
so this girl who i had a fling with (i was the one who was more into it than her - suck - and we broke it off) anyway - we still hang out and we're trying to do the friends thing cuz she's cool and well connected (i mean what?) but I realized this evening that she's a GREAT wingman.

 

we were both called back for the same show - both actors - and we're there all evening. I'm reading for the role opposite of her, and the fact that we know each other brings really great chemistry to it. I ALSO read with this other girl, really cute, but so my time was spent being pulled between both of them, trying to practice with each of them equally while waiting to go in. I was flirting with this new girl and casually added that there was history between me and girl A, who kept coming over to pry me away from her. Long story short, I ended up getting the new girl's number. Now girl A had no clue she was being a wingman, but the end result was the same - so it leads me to ask...

 

Do you think women can be good wingmen? I'm of the opinion that they're the best kind of wingman - but I'm curious what other people think.

Yes. Most don't know it either.

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QUOTE (Reddy @ Jul 14, 2010 -> 12:10 AM)
so this girl who i had a fling with (i was the one who was more into it than her - suck - and we broke it off) anyway - we still hang out and we're trying to do the friends thing cuz she's cool and well connected (i mean what?) but I realized this evening that she's a GREAT wingman.

 

we were both called back for the same show - both actors - and we're there all evening. I'm reading for the role opposite of her, and the fact that we know each other brings really great chemistry to it. I ALSO read with this other girl, really cute, but so my time was spent being pulled between both of them, trying to practice with each of them equally while waiting to go in. I was flirting with this new girl and casually added that there was history between me and girl A, who kept coming over to pry me away from her. Long story short, I ended up getting the new girl's number. Now girl A had no clue she was being a wingman, but the end result was the same - so it leads me to ask...

 

Do you think women can be good wingmen? I'm of the opinion that they're the best kind of wingman - but I'm curious what other people think.

 

Absolutely. One of my best friends girlfriends came out with me and a buddy last weekend since her boyfriend was out of town. We had been planning on meeting up with a couple girls we met the previous week. She embraced the "wingwoman" role and it actually worked remarkably well.

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QUOTE (Milkman delivers @ Jul 14, 2010 -> 06:53 AM)
If the girl is legitimately trying to help you (or is doing it by accident, as in your case), then yes. But if you had asked girl A to be your wingman, in this scenario, I don't think she would help. She might act like she is, but I certainly wouldn't put it past her to sabotage you so that she can have you for her own fallback option.

and there's the rub.

 

see, this girl is the one who decided she just wanted to be friends - didn't want a relationship right now, blah blah blah. and while we were riding the train home that night I told her that she'd have to come out some time and be my wingman. she said that she would. it was all that half-joking kind of thing. but I feel like she'd be down to do it. i have no idea, though, how it'd go once the game's running. and I'm reeeeeally curious to find out.

 

A) she does a great job and it works out well for me

B ) she sabotages me and that gives me a whole different set of information, and could lead to the jealous hookup

 

seems like a win-win. :P

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QUOTE (iamshack @ Jul 13, 2010 -> 09:15 PM)
A woman is attracted to a guy another woman is seemingly attracted to. It makes her think, hmm, there must be something to this guy, because that girl is obviously interested in him for some reason.

 

It's the same as when you see a girl, and she might just seem so-so, but then you see some good-looking dudes interested in her, and you think, hmm, she must be really good at _____ or else why would those dudes be hitting on her?

 

It's quite the phenomenon.

Edit: one of the reasons wearing a wedding ring can work as a great prop...

 

 

UUHHhh I love ya to pieces, but this is FALSE!!!

 

It has nothing to do with what she realizes she might be missing that gets her interested in a guy another girl is talking to, and EVERYTHING to do with the fact that women just don't like other women!! She sees a woman talking to a man that she knows is interested in her and wants that girl to know "hey, back off my s***!" lol ...she doesn't care to be with that guy, but she doesn't want him moving on to another woman. It's a sad and ridiculous reality, but it is, in fact, REALITY!

 

Wedding rings are a red flag for me ..but a lot of women see them as a challenge! This can only be explained by the fact that ..well ...women are scallywags!! And that's the nicest way I can say it! LOL ..Chase DOES NOT wear a ring, even though he'd like to!

 

As far as a woman being a great wing man is concerned, DO IT!! If you can find a girl who is willing and has good intentions, then you couldn't possibly have a better wing man. I have been the wing man more than once and I love it!!

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QUOTE (girlslikebaseballtoo#26 @ Jul 14, 2010 -> 11:22 AM)
UUHHhh I love ya to pieces, but this is FALSE!!!

 

It has nothing to do with what she realizes she might be missing that gets her interested in a guy another girl is talking to, and EVERYTHING to do with the fact that women just don't like other women!! She sees a woman talking to a man that she knows is interested in her and wants that girl to know "hey, back off my s***!" lol ...she doesn't care to be with that guy, but she doesn't want him moving on to another woman. It's a sad and ridiculous reality, but it is, in fact, REALITY!

 

Wedding rings are a red flag for me ..but a lot of women see them as a challenge! This can only be explained by the fact that ..well ...women are scallywags!! And that's the nicest way I can say it! LOL ..Chase DOES NOT wear a ring, even though he'd like to!

 

As far as a woman being a great wing man is concerned, DO IT!! If you can find a girl who is willing and has good intentions, then you couldn't possibly have a better wing man. I have been the wing man more than once and I love it!!

 

This post confirms a lot of theories I've had about how most women think for a while now. Thanks. (Seriously). :lol:

Edited by whitesoxfan101
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QUOTE (Milkman delivers @ Jul 14, 2010 -> 07:56 AM)
My best "in" has always been through female friends and girlfriends of my friends. Just be nice to them, and they'll mention you to one of their friends.

This is the exact reason why I have a bunch of female friends at school now. Works like a charm.

 

As my dad would say, you'll start getting ass on accident.

 

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QUOTE (Reddy @ Jul 13, 2010 -> 11:10 PM)
so this girl who i had a fling with (i was the one who was more into it than her - suck - and we broke it off) anyway - we still hang out and we're trying to do the friends thing cuz she's cool and well connected (i mean what?) but I realized this evening that she's a GREAT wingman.

 

we were both called back for the same show - both actors - and we're there all evening. I'm reading for the role opposite of her, and the fact that we know each other brings really great chemistry to it. I ALSO read with this other girl, really cute, but so my time was spent being pulled between both of them, trying to practice with each of them equally while waiting to go in. I was flirting with this new girl and casually added that there was history between me and girl A, who kept coming over to pry me away from her. Long story short, I ended up getting the new girl's number. Now girl A had no clue she was being a wingman, but the end result was the same - so it leads me to ask...

 

Do you think women can be good wingmen? I'm of the opinion that they're the best kind of wingman - but I'm curious what other people think.

 

I actually read a good intro book on evolutionary psychology and there is actually a reason behind why that works. Basically they figure that the first girl has already done the scouting work on the guys, so they go off of their approving of this person as evidence that they should also approve.

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QUOTE (southsider2k5 @ Jul 14, 2010 -> 10:19 AM)
I actually read a good intro book on evolutionary psychology and there is actually a reason behind why that works. Basically they figure that the first girl has already done the scouting work on the guys, so they go off of their approving of this person as evidence that they should also approve.

 

 

I smell Bull s***!!

 

Women don't care if another woman has "approved" or not, it's all about the competition. NOTHING ELSE. You guys are putting wayyy too much thought into this ...SERIOUSLY ...They just want to better than other women and if they can get that guy to choose them over the other woman, they count that as a win for them. THAT'S ALL!!!

Edited by girlslikebaseballtoo#26
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