Relationship Advice Thread

[Rowand44]

I don't want to date them.

 

And I'm a senior, but I just turned 21 too. Just wanted outside opinions.

You're certainly not too old for a freshman chick. Not even close.

[RockRaines]

I'm a 22-year-old senior and have found that I don't want to deal with stupid girls who are fresh out of high school. My age range is 19-24, and even 19 and 24 are pushing it. I really like to find someone who is close to my age and maturity. Even if the girl is willing to give it up at 18-19, it's still kind of weird. Especially when the drunken freshman says, "Do it without the condom, it feels better." That's what happened to my one friend.

 

Then again, I know people date people older and younger when they get out in the real world. I also think college dating is sort of pointless, because everyone moves on after graduation. I'd rather save some money, get my s*** together, get my own place and then look for someone. That makes the most sense...and it gives you time to have fun while you do save. (Who said you couldn't use a hotel when you temporarily are living at home?)

It does feel better.......until you piss razor blades.

 

Saving money and getting your life together is the best way to go. I have changed so much since I was 22 that if I would have found someone then, most likely we would have grown apart.

[nitetrain8601]

Personally, when finding someone, it's best to go without a plan. You limit yourself if you say "I'm going to wait until I'm fully settled down." You miss out on life a ton by doing so, not just women. Rock said he would've grown apart from a woman he met when he was 22. While this can happen, you can also grow with someone. And most valuable, you end up learning more about yourself.

[The Beast]

Personally, when finding someone, it's best to go without a plan. You limit yourself if you say "I'm going to wait until I'm fully settled down." You miss out on life a ton by doing so, not just women. Rock said he would've grown apart from a woman he met when he was 22. While this can happen, you can also grow with someone. And most valuable, you end up learning more about yourself.

Let me put it this way. I am looking for someone, and I do want to date. I've been told by some of my peers that it is better to just "let love come to you" instead of being single and looking for someone to have fun or enjoy yourself with, and possibly even making a relationship out of it. The problem is that at my school many of the girls are taken, and for SAU being as small at it is, that isn't a good thing. I know that if I waited to do something until I finally settled down, I wouldn't have inquired about NIU's Sports Management program or have had the balls to pursue something that I loved. And I wholeheartedly agree with yours and Rock's conclusions about what can happen with someone. I just haven't found someone like that to share my life with yet, and learn more about myself with.

[nitetrain8601]

Let me put it this way. I am looking for someone, and I do want to date. I've been told by some of my peers that it is better to just "let love come to you" instead of being single and looking for someone to have fun or enjoy yourself with, and possibly even making a relationship out of it. The problem is that at my school many of the girls are taken, and for SAU being as small at it is, that isn't a good thing. I know that if I waited to do something until I finally settled down, I wouldn't have inquired about NIU's Sports Management program or have had the balls to pursue something that I loved. And I wholeheartedly agree with yours and Rock's conclusions about what can happen with someone. I just haven't found someone like that to share my life with yet, and learn more about myself with.

 

That's what I was hinting at. In fact, no matter what, I wouldn't ever go looking for love. That's when it passes you up. Just let it naturally happen.

[The Beast]

That's what I was hinting at. In fact, no matter what, I wouldn't ever go looking for love. That's when it passes you up. Just let it naturally happen.

What about checking out the parties, getting numbers and seeing if the girl is possible girlfriend material after hanging out?

[witesoxfan]

You are over-analyzing. Seriously. It's not a bad thing if you go and hang out with girls and maybe they become girlfriend material and maybe they don't and who really cares in the end, but if you are thinking about it this much ahead of time, you'll think about it just as much when you're faced with the situation, and it won't be smooth. Go into situations like that with 0 expectations, have fun, and if a girl tags along for the ride, then have fun with her too. If she's worth hanging onto, then hang onto her.

[JPN366]

Those who are single, remember the advice Alan Arkin gave in "Little Miss Sunshine."

[The Beast]

Those who are single, remember the advice Alan Arkin gave in "Little Miss Sunshine."

Which was what?

[JPN366]

Which was what?

 

F*** a lot of women.

[WilliamTell]

I was going to post a couple of weeks ago but I got really busy and forgot to. Anyway I now can see why I never want to be in relationships while learning a valuble lesson about trying to date too young of girls. This story with this girl started this year when I coached her in softball, lol yeah I know it's an odd way to start but she was a senior and already 18 and I'm 24. Needless to say we started talking a lot after the season was over. Then she broke up with her boyfriend and we started seeing each other. It was a couple good months and the Sox were playing awesome ball, life was great. Then she decided she might want to get back with her ex and took a few days to decide. Eventually she decided not to get back with him and we continued seeing each other again, although I was being extremely cautious because if it happened once, it could easily happen again.

 

And it did happen again earlier last month. She told me she never was over him and still loved him even though I was the most perfect guy she could ever ask for. We had a lot of arguments about this whole situation which is understandable, but after a while we started getting along. Then her birthday came up 2 weeks ago and I decided to mail her a dozen flowers just for one last shot because I knew it'd either work out really well, or not well at all and she's probably want to stop talking to me. She ended up loving them, but hating the situation because her boyfriend got extremely pissed off. Which I obviously knew would happen. So now we're at a crossroad tonight because her boyfriend and her get into arguments about me. She's getting sick of hearing about it and tonight we're going to have a discussion on the phone which I assume will be about stopping all contact.

 

We had this discussion last week and I told her if she wants to stop contact, it has to be for good and not just for the time being. I told her other things to think over and she has. But all signs point to her ending it. Which kind of sucks, but on the other hand might be for the best. I've learned my lesson about 19 year olds now. They're way too immature and they have no idea what they want in life. For some reason she's infatuated with this guy and he is a jerk according to most people. I don't know the guy so I'm not going to say if he is. But I'm sure he thinks I'm a jerk for sending flowers to his girlfriend. Anyway that's my story. Tonight is probably going to end it for good.

Edited October 8, 2010 by WilliamTell

[knightni]

At the risk of getting shot or getting into a fight with the boyfriend, the smart move is to drop her like a hot rock and move on.

 

She's not worth it if she doesn't have the guts to tell her boyfriend that it's over; he'll always be in the picture. She hasn't experienced life enough in order to appreciate you and realize that you're the better option.

[T R U]

Man I don't know how some of you can do it..

 

I have a 23 year old sister.. I don't think I could ever date/do anything with a girl who is younger than her just because it feels weird to me for some reason..

[kjshoe04]

Man I don't know how some of you can do it..

 

I have a 23 year old sister.. I don't think I could ever date/do anything with a girl who is younger than her just because it feels weird to me for some reason..

I agree. My sister is 22 and I'm 24. I think 22 is too young for me probably because of that. I only go for the older ladies. In fact just met a nice one last week that I hope to hang out with again.

[T R U]

I agree. My sister is 22 and I'm 24. I think 22 is too young for me probably because of that. I only go for the older ladies. In fact just met a nice one last week that I hope to hang out with again.

 

ive always wanted to bang a 40 year old.. sadly, i have a girlfriend now and that dream is on hold

[ChiSox_Sonix]

I was going to post a couple of weeks ago but I got really busy and forgot to. Anyway I now can see why I never want to be in relationships while learning a valuble lesson about trying to date too young of girls. This story with this girl started this year when I coached her in softball, lol yeah I know it's an odd way to start but she was a senior and already 18 and I'm 24. Needless to say we started talking a lot after the season was over. Then she broke up with her boyfriend and we started seeing each other. It was a couple good months and the Sox were playing awesome ball, life was great. Then she decided she might want to get back with her ex and took a few days to decide. Eventually she decided not to get back with him and we continued seeing each other again, although I was being extremely cautious because if it happened once, it could easily happen again.

 

And it did happen again earlier last month. She told me she never was over him and still loved him even though I was the most perfect guy she could ever ask for. We had a lot of arguments about this whole situation which is understandable, but after a while we started getting along. Then her birthday came up 2 weeks ago and I decided to mail her a dozen flowers just for one last shot because I knew it'd either work out really well, or not well at all and she's probably want to stop talking to me. She ended up loving them, but hating the situation because her boyfriend got extremely pissed off. Which I obviously knew would happen. So now we're at a crossroad tonight because her boyfriend and her get into arguments about me. She's getting sick of hearing about it and tonight we're going to have a discussion on the phone which I assume will be about stopping all contact.

 

We had this discussion last week and I told her if she wants to stop contact, it has to be for good and not just for the time being. I told her other things to think over and she has. But all signs point to her ending it. Which kind of sucks, but on the other hand might be for the best. I've learned my lesson about 19 year olds now. They're way too immature and they have no idea what they want in life. For some reason she's infatuated with this guy and he is a jerk according to most people. I don't know the guy so I'm not going to say if he is. But I'm sure he thinks I'm a jerk for sending flowers to his girlfriend. Anyway that's my story. Tonight is probably going to end it for good.

 

Wow. I pretty much could have written that almost word for word (like literally, even the white sox part). So I know exactly what you're going through. Sucks. Just add a couple years to both of our ages and drop the coached her in softball part haha. I don't get why it's so hard for girls to get over guys who cheat on them repeatedly and what not. They must feel they can fix them. Slight difference is that I'm avoiding contact with her. Which of course becomes difficult when you get random text messages saying they were thinking about you or miss you. Ugh.

 

edit: by the way, aren't you the other Chiefs fan on this board too?

Edited October 8, 2010 by ChiSox_Sonix

[LittleHurt05]

ive always wanted to bang a 40 year old.. sadly, i have a girlfriend now and that dream is on hold

 

Don't worry, one day she will turn 40 as well, and your dream will come true

[ChiSox_Sonix]

I feel the same way, but I have brothers who are 3 and 6 years younger than me. I wouldn't date a girl their ages (or younger, obviously) because it would be blatantly obvious to me that I'm out of my zone. If I were with a girl around those ages, I'd be thinking the entire time that this girl is my brother's age.

 

Honestly, that was an issue at first, especially when you realize you have cousins her age who you once babysat for. But at least for me, once I got to know her the weirdness just went away. As cliche as it sounds, age can really just be a number.

[T R U]

Don't worry, one day she will turn 40 as well, and your dream will come true

 

yeah but then ill be 40 and I wont be feelin it by then

[The Beast]

Scenario: Dancing in a bar with a girl you are halfway interested in, she wants to start singing the song and gaze into your eyes as she does so. You don't know the words to any of the songs so you continue dancing anyway. She leaves you and then later on you find that she's connecting better with a guy that is looking back at her and singing it with her. What do you do for the future? Just dance and grind the whole night and don't ever look at her face?

[BigSqwert]

Scenario: Dancing in a bar with a girl you are halfway interested in, she wants to start singing the song and gaze into your eyes as she does so. You don't know the words to any of the songs so you continue dancing anyway. She leaves you and then later on you find that she's connecting better with a guy that is looking back at her and singing it with her. What do you do for the future? Just dance and grind the whole night and don't ever look at her face?

Start learning song lyrics!

[nitetrain8601]

Mumble the words. If you just put in the effort, you guys would've enjoyed a laugh if you couldn't sing it. She would've loved you for it unless it was a slow song with no beat.

[SoxFan1]

Scenario: Dancing in a bar with a girl you are halfway interested in, she wants to start singing the song and gaze into your eyes as she does so. You don't know the words to any of the songs so you continue dancing anyway. She leaves you and then later on you find that she's connecting better with a guy that is looking back at her and singing it with her. What do you do for the future? Just dance and grind the whole night and don't ever look at her face?

It's a bar....

[kjshoe04]

I'm sorry, but I need to point out that this made me laugh out loud at work. Why is everything so hard for you?

Same thought I had. Beast, you are the best.

[The Beast]

Screw learning r&b and rap lyrics. Went to Iowa City last night and had good luck without knowing song lyrics. Boy does someone need to keep me off the dance floor, I am ass bad at dancing.