Relationship Advice Thread

[Rex Kickass]

The best time to get married is when you have the right partner to marry.

[FlaSoxxJim]

The best time to get married is when you have the right partner to marry.

 

I'm sure glad my wife didn't hold out for that guy.

[JPN366]

Women outnumber us like 8 to 1. Factor in all the gay guys and momma's boys, and the odds get even better.

 

[The Beast]

Women outnumber us like 8 to 1. Factor in all the gay guys and momma's boys, and the odds get even better.

Which is exactly why I don't give women time to think. The ex that I thought was worth it had her chance to think and said forget it. So that's kind of why I've been going casual until someone worth my time comes along. But yes, being in college is nice as a result of more women going and less men being there. Score one more for men in college.

[witesoxfan]

Answers to the questions.

1) Simple crush. Kind of like I figured.

2) Not ready to date yet (aka friendzoned). Also kind of the vibe I was feeling.

 

Yeah, not sure what I'm going to do now, but it will all come in time. Just going to keep my options open, and if something with another girl comes up, I'll pursue it.

[The Beast]

I've got to agree with Milkman here Wite, I think it's time to move on and find another girl. We are outnumbered on this planet and hopefully there's someone out there better than her. Unless god is a cruel little kid dicking around with people's lives.

[JPN366]

Haha, I don't want to sound as jaded as Beast when I say this, but it seems to me that she's just keeping you around as a future option to fall back on.

 

 

Fall back on...

[RockRaines]

Answers to the questions.

1) Simple crush. Kind of like I figured.

2) Not ready to date yet (aka friendzoned). Also kind of the vibe I was feeling.

 

Yeah, not sure what I'm going to do now, but it will all come in time. Just going to keep my options open, and if something with another girl comes up, I'll pursue it.

 

Lets be honest, she should be begging you to be with her, if she doesnt see that, some other hot broad will and make her regret it.

[witesoxfan]

That's how I'm leaning right now.

[nitetrain8601]

As I suspected, she wants you as a fallback option. If you were the last guy on earth, she would love you in the way you want her to. And yes, you have been friendzoned. She basically weaseled out of the relationship and now she's hanging out with you the whole time to be your best bud.

 

My best advice is, don't have any of it. You don't want this girl as your friend because you will be reminded why you loved her enough times to keep you as her personally puppy dog. You'll also hate yourself and beat yourself the more you allow this to happen.

 

Move on past her. If she wants to hang, too bad, you have other things you want/need to do. She doesn't get the same respect and time and care as if she was with you which is what she wants without her being tied to do anything in the relationship. Go out, drink if you want, hang out with your buddies, do stuff you've always wanted to do, but didn't have the time to do now that you're off her leash. In the meantime, I guarantee you'll find some girls, no wait, the girls will find you, love you for who you are and won't pull the same crap.

[Jordan4life_2007]

That's how I'm leaning right now.

 

It's all good, wite. You've always got me!

 

Seriously, don't trip. You seem like a pretty solid dude. You won't have too much trouble finding somebody else. Just get laid as much as possible for now. lol.

[iamshack]

Seriously, who the hell do these women think they are?

 

Funny how much different men are from women...

[2nd_city_saint787]

Hmm I was just checkin in on my thread about the pizza place im opening up and say this soooooooo i figured why not get your opinions on this matter.

 

 

So Im in love with my best friend, shes cool as hell like shes perfect for me, we listen to the same music, she likes watching sports, she likes just going out and playing basketball or just playing catch, when i met her mentally i was weak and shes made me stronger, we.ve been able to hang out damn near every night for the past 3 years and our convos never stop flowin, my family loves her, we used to play board games with my fam, and every night we give each other a hug and a kiss on the cheek and say i love you or ily. In the past 3 years ive not talked, texted, or IMd with her maybe a total of 30 days. She claims looks isnt big with her, and also she claims I am a good looking man, she claims its all about personality but yet she tells me i have a great personality... Problem obviously is shes not with me because i think there is obvious attraction there and yes i try to get with her....I havent been trying to get with anyone because i believe somethings gonna happen and it occured to me the other day that i havent had sex in over 2 years.......theres times where i just wanna be with someone but i almost feel like shes weighing me down BUT at the same time shes easily been the best friend ive ever had....what do i do???

[almagest]

2nd_city_saint787: You're firmly in the friend zone. No doubt about it. You're either going to have to accept you're just friends, or move on and cut off contact with her for a while. Also, don't ever chase after one woman and one woman only. You seem desperate and that's not attractive. You need to keep your options open, unless you're in a serious relationship.

[SoxAce]

Hmm I was just checkin in on my thread about the pizza place im opening up and say this soooooooo i figured why not get your opinions on this matter.

 

 

So Im in love with my best friend, shes cool as hell like shes perfect for me, we listen to the same music, she likes watching sports, she likes just going out and playing basketball or just playing catch, when i met her mentally i was weak and shes made me stronger, we.ve been able to hang out damn near every night for the past 3 years and our convos never stop flowin, my family loves her, we used to play board games with my fam, and every night we give each other a hug and a kiss on the cheek and say i love you or ily. In the past 3 years ive not talked, texted, or IMd with her maybe a total of 30 days. She claims looks isnt big with her, and also she claims I am a good looking man, she claims its all about personality but yet she tells me i have a great personality... Problem obviously is shes not with me because i think there is obvious attraction there and yes i try to get with her....I havent been trying to get with anyone because i believe somethings gonna happen and it occured to me the other day that i havent had sex in over 2 years.......theres times where i just wanna be with someone but i almost feel like shes weighing me down BUT at the same time shes easily been the best friend ive ever had....what do i do???

 

When your business opens.. tell her to stop by, then I'll go over there and straighten her out. Funny thing is.. I might know her if shes a Hammond/Heggy/ES girl.

[dasox24]

My GF broke up with me, oh, about 3 weeks ago. Came out of nowhere.... But she calls/texts me every day and we hang out all the time. Actually, nothing in our relationship has changed except the "title" of boyfriend/girlfriend. I mean nothing has changed

 

She's not even hanging out with another guy or anything cause I spend the night with her like 3 or 4 nights a week (including Fri/Sat). What the hell is the deal here? I'm so confused. I want to ask her about it, but I still like being with her, and I guess honestly I am afraid if I push the issue, she'll get freaked out. I know it's not healthy to do this to myself, but you guys know how it is... it's hard to pull away.

 

Keep in mind: I don't initiate hardly any of our hanging out or spending the night, etc. I let her do that, but I certainly don't say "no" when she wants to hang out. Well, she did want me to spend the night last night and I told her I didn't feel like it. And then she wanted me to come over and hang out tonight, but I told her I had to go workout. I don't want to be a b**** and come whenever she wants me to.

Edited February 4, 2010 by dasox24

[iamshack]

My GF broke up with me, oh, about 3 weeks ago. Came out of nowhere.... But she calls/texts me every day and we hang out all the time. Actually, nothing in our relationship has changed except the "title" of boyfriend/girlfriend. I mean nothing has changed

 

She's not even hanging out with another guy or anything cause I spend the night with her like 3 or 4 nights a week (including Fri/Sat). What the hell is the deal here? I'm so confused. I want to ask her about it, but I still like being with her, and I guess honestly I am afraid if I push the issue, she'll get freaked out. I know it's not healthy to do this to myself, but you guys know how it is... it's hard to pull away.

 

Keep in mind: I don't initiate hardly any of our hanging out or spending the night, etc. I let her do that, but I certainly don't say "no" when she wants to hang out. Well, she did want me to spend the night last night and I told her I didn't feel like it. And then she wanted me to come over and hang out tonight, but I told her I had to go workout. I don't want to be a b**** and come whenever she wants me to.

Did she give you a reason for breaking up with you in the first place?

[dasox24]

Did she give you a reason for breaking up with you in the first place?

Said she wouldn't be able to be the girlfriend I deserved cause she has so much going on in her life and that she didn't think her heart was in it to be in a relationship. Left it open to get back together, so I expected to not see her for awhile. But, after one day she started texting me, wanting to hang out, etc.

 

Honestly, she does have a lot of stuff going bad right now. Family money issues mainly (family business filing for bankruptcy) and they'll have her twin brothers at college next year so that's 3 in college. They looked into selling their house, but would lose $120,000 on it if they sold it at market value (that's what she told me). I think the problem is that they have been very well off (also own a mountain home in the Smokey Mountains) and then boom, life is about to get really tough. She's working 2 jobs as well as going to school (and also doing some part-time babysitting), and was stressing out like crazy the few days before breaking up with me. To make things worse, 7 days before we broke up, she totaled her brothers' car when she hit ice on the road, and with their money issues, they only had personal liability coverage on the car so her brothers just don't have a car now. Plus, she has to pay off the $600 mailbox she ruined when she wrecked the car.

[iamshack]

Sounds like maybe she was just looking out for you and your best interests.

 

I'd just take what she says at face value. If she you can accept your new relationship for what is it - just spending time with one another but with no strings attached - than I would proceed.

 

Sounds like you need her to be there for her.

 

But if you can't handle it, you have every right to back away from this.

[SoxAce]

s*** da24 at this point, I'd probably keep rolling with it. I mean your still friends and still gettin ass? What's not to like. I'd be down for the whole friends with benefits as long as it isn't complicating her feelings and yours as more than that.

[dasox24]

Sounds like maybe she was just looking out for you and your best interests.

 

I'd just take what she says at face value. If she you can accept your new relationship for what is it - just spending time with one another but with no strings attached - than I would proceed.

 

Sounds like you need her to be there for her.

 

But if you can't handle it, you have every right to back away from this.

Yeah, she really is a great girl and we get along very well. I'm fine for now with proceeding how things are, but I guess we'll need to talk about it sometime. She seems to be coming around (and all my friends think we're gonna get back together), but I'm just going to let things play out and go from there.

 

Oh, and thanks for the advice. Sometimes it just helps hearing an outsider's perspective with a fresh take rather than what all my friends say. Though, everyone says pretty much the same thing (but I guess that's good).

[dasox24]

s*** da24 at this point, I'd probably keep rolling with it. I mean your still friends and still gettin ass? What's not to like. I'd be down for the whole friends with benefits as long as it isn't complicating her feelings and yours as more than that.

I can always count on some sound advice from you, Ace.

 

The friends with benefits is fine for now, but if she starts dating some new guy in like a month and I'm out, then that's probably going to make things worse since I actually do like this girl. I've never been broken up with either. So this is uncharted territory for me. I'll normally get bored with a girl, but of course, the one I actually like more than any girl I've dated (including my HS girlfriend of over 3 years) is the one that breaks up with me. Go figure...

Edited February 4, 2010 by dasox24

[nitetrain8601]

Yeah, she really is a great girl and we get along very well. I'm fine for now with proceeding how things are, but I guess we'll need to talk about it sometime. She seems to be coming around (and all my friends think we're gonna get back together), but I'm just going to let things play out and go from there.

 

Oh, and thanks for the advice. Sometimes it just helps hearing an outsider's perspective with a fresh take rather than what all my friends say. Though, everyone says pretty much the same thing (but I guess that's good).

 

I personally ask why you guys broke up if I were you. To me, it doesn't make sense to breakup, but yet nothing has changed except for the title of BF and GF.

 

As far as saint, as someone said before, don't confuse love with infatuation. I would probably say, start dating some girls, maybe bring them around to meet this best friend of yours. See how your best friend reacts. If she starts criticizing the girl you bring around, that means you still have hope. If she says nothing, well at least you know you have nothing to wait around for.

[iamshack]

Yeah, she really is a great girl and we get along very well. I'm fine for now with proceeding how things are, but I guess we'll need to talk about it sometime. She seems to be coming around (and all my friends think we're gonna get back together), but I'm just going to let things play out and go from there.

 

Oh, and thanks for the advice. Sometimes it just helps hearing an outsider's perspective with a fresh take rather than what all my friends say. Though, everyone says pretty much the same thing (but I guess that's good).

Ugh, my apologies for my terrible grammer. Too much multi-tasking!

 

I need to take my own advice and focus on only a few things at once!

 

I meant sounds like she needs you to be there for her, not that you need her to be there for her. Ack.

 

Sounds like you should just keep the same approach you have been taking.

[dasox24]

I personally ask why you guys broke up if I were you. To me, it doesn't make sense to breakup, but yet nothing has changed except for the title of BF and GF.

Yeah, it's an odd situation. No one I've talked to about it has quite heard anything like it. They can't figure out how she broke up with me, but nothing about our relationship has changed. It's almost like the break-up never happened.