Relationship Advice Thread

[greg775]

Yes, but if this is the first time he's been in this situation, then despite us telling him what he shouldn't do, he's going to do it anyway. It's very hard to resist such temptation. Honestly Joe, just hit it a few times, make her cook you eggs, and then bounce.

 

That is a damn fine way of looking at it as well.

Try to hit her because it's obvious you want her. If she rejects you, that'll be it.

You might try it when she's had a few drinks again as well, if she doesn't have to go to the bathroom (that had to be amazing).

[ChiliIrishHammock24]

OK I just read your interesting saga and I've been through this before.

You telling me how you were jealous of your buddy poking her and her grabbing his nuts tells me IMMEDIATELY you are hooked on this girl. You want sex with this girl you want to date this girl.

She, by not yet jumping into bed with you, for whatever reason does not want to date you, maybe doesn't even ever want sex with you.

 

I have done this before with girls that don't return the favor. They want to talk and spill their guts; they don't want to f***.

I am thinking the only way this will end is when you go back to school (didn't you say you are 30 miles away with school?) and forget about her, because if my experiences are true, you are not going to stop wanting her and yes, wanting to date her.

 

The smart thing to do would be to tell her you want her, because the response you are going to get will finally end it. I don't think she wants you sexually. If she did she wouldn't be flirting with your buddy; she'd have been all over you in the pool.

 

The only way to end it is to make a move physically and get rejected by her. Then she won't be texting you much any more. That's my take. You want her; I don't think she wants you. If you want to continue to be her emotional support, fine, but don't expect to ever date her. And she is VERY troubled if she did that rage stuff even when drunk.

 

I do hope you get to have sex with her if that's what you want. These stories don't usually end that way. She wants you around for support, but hey, she's flirting with your buddy, giving him nibbles on the arm, etc. That is not good.

 

One time I finally drunk made the moves on somebody like this who was dating somebody else; she quickly let me know that wasn't in the cards and at least I emotinally got to move on and I hung out with her some cause she liked to do the things I liked to do, but I FINALLY was over the fantasy and better off for it.

 

 

After taking a shower and then mowing a few lawns and doing some yardwork, I realized that I going to be my plan of attack. As soon as she finally gives me the "What's wrong? Are you mad at me?" type text, I am just going to tell her straight up that I can't continue to do this, and tell her its obvious she doesn't have the same feelings for me that I have for her, so I don't want to string along this charade for the rest of my summer. I'll basically anticipate her telling me that she thinks I am the sweetest guy she knows, but she is so in love with her boy friend yada yada yada. At that point I will just tell her not to expect me to be texting her until 3 AM every night, and that I don't feel right doing that when she has a boyfriend. Hopefully that will just end it. We'll see. One of my best female friends is coming over tomorrow, so I'll give her the scoop on what happened last night, and she what she has to say too. My friend already knows all the previous stories (ones I haven't told on here), and she is just baffled that this girl says all these things to me, but yet still has a boyfriend. She is thinking along the same lines as you guys that she is just leading me on because she likes the attention and re-assurance I give her.

[kjshoe04]

Yeah, I'm in complete agreement with Greg here. I've been in a situation like this and from what I can tell she is not interested in you Sexually/Romantically at all. Telling someone they are the sweetest guy they know is a load of s***. Will get you absolutely no where. If she was, I guarantee you would know. Just tell her what you feel. If she is interested in you then hit it and run like hell. Either way just run like hell.

[greg775]

After taking a shower and then mowing a few lawns and doing some yardwork, I realized that I going to be my plan of attack. As soon as she finally gives me the "What's wrong? Are you mad at me?" type text, I am just going to tell her straight up that I can't continue to do this, and tell her its obvious she doesn't have the same feelings for me that I have for her, so I don't want to string along this charade for the rest of my summer. I'll basically anticipate her telling me that she thinks I am the sweetest guy she knows, but she is so in love with her boy friend yada yada yada. At that point I will just tell her not to expect me to be texting her until 3 AM every night, and that I don't feel right doing that when she has a boyfriend. Hopefully that will just end it. We'll see. One of my best female friends is coming over tomorrow, so I'll give her the scoop on what happened last night, and she what she has to say too. My friend already knows all the previous stories (ones I haven't told on here), and she is just baffled that this girl says all these things to me, but yet still has a boyfriend. She is thinking along the same lines as you guys that she is just leading me on because she likes the attention and re-assurance I give her.

 

Thing is you seem like a great guy and I wouldn't mind seeing you win here.

Why not wait til she gets drunk again, make your move and see if you can get the sex you want with her? If she rejects you like the time I got rejected, fine, you'll know at least.

But maybe you can hit it. You've put in a lot of work already with her.

If you say the things you are planning on saying, it also will end I feel but maybe you can have sex with her once if she's had a couple drinks and has any feelings for you at all.

Either way, you realize you have to run, so that's good.

 

(BTW one of your best female friends is coming over tomorrow; does she have the hots for you like you have the hots for this other girl? These sagas go round n round)

Edited July 8, 2011 by greg775

[Whitewashed in '05]

Thing is you seem like a great guy and I wouldn't mind seeing you win here.

Why not wait til she gets drunk again, make your move and see if you can get the sex you want with her? If she rejects you like the time I got rejected, fine, you'll know at least.

But maybe you can hit it. You've put in a lot of work already with her.

If you say the things you are planning on saying, it also will end I feel but maybe you can have sex with her once if she's had a couple drinks and has any feelings for you at all.

Either way, you realize you have to run, so that's good.

 

(BTW one of your best female friends is coming over tomorrow; does she have the hots for you like you have the hots for this other girl? These sagas go round n round)

 

I wouldn't even try that. With some of the stuff shes said to him (such as she doesnt believe he has a dick or whatever) he has no chance, none. Besides, she'll be a wreck afterwards for 'feeling bad about doing it' and then telling her bf and possibly having more issues. Matter of fact, I wouldn't even go into detail explaining why he's cutting ties with her. I would just tell her we're not on the same page about the relationship and that's it. The more explanation you give her, the more I can see her sweet talking him into staying in contact.

[The Sir]

Thing is you seem like a great guy and I wouldn't mind seeing you win here.

Why not wait til she gets drunk again, make your move and see if you can get the sex you want with her? If she rejects you like the time I got rejected, fine, you'll know at least.

But maybe you can hit it. You've put in a lot of work already with her.

If you say the things you are planning on saying, it also will end I feel but maybe you can have sex with her once if she's had a couple drinks and has any feelings for you at all.

 

A "great guy" doesn't get another dude's girlfriend drunk and try to sleep with her. That's a really sleazy suggestion.

[greg775]

A "great guy" doesn't get another dude's girlfriend drunk and try to sleep with her. That's a really sleazy suggestion.

 

It's not Joe's fault she keeps calling him and wants to be with him.

I mean the girl is playing with fire. If she wants to sleep around, it might as well be Joe who gets his dream girl or crush girl.

My guess is she will reject him, but she's very hot it seems and was half naked in his pool for goshsakes.

he's a gentleman, but if she wants to cheat Joe might as well get his dream girl for a night.

My guess is he'll be rejected

 

(I didn't see the no dick comment; what did she mean by that and when did she say that?)

[The Sir]

It's not Joe's fault she keeps calling him and wants to be with him.

I mean the girl is playing with fire. If she wants to sleep around, it might as well be Joe who gets his dream girl or crush girl.

My guess is she will reject him, but she's very hot it seems and was half naked in his pool for goshsakes.

he's a gentleman, but if she wants to cheat Joe might as well get his dream girl for a night.

My guess is he'll be rejected

 

(I didn't see the no dick comment; what did she mean by that and when did she say that?)

 

This girl isn't anybody's dream girl. And Joe thinks she is, he's not thinking straight. This girl is a momentary infatuation for Joe, and she's nothing more than a dimestore hooker. Joe isn't going to find anything good by sleeping with her and then ditching her. Joe will find good things only by sticking to his morals and finding a girl who actually cares about him and wants to be with him. That ain't this girl.

 

And just because she's coming on to him doesn't make it right. Joe needs to leave this alone.

[ChiliIrishHammock24]

Thing is you seem like a great guy and I wouldn't mind seeing you win here.

Why not wait til she gets drunk again, make your move and see if you can get the sex you want with her? If she rejects you like the time I got rejected, fine, you'll know at least.

But maybe you can hit it. You've put in a lot of work already with her.

If you say the things you are planning on saying, it also will end I feel but maybe you can have sex with her once if she's had a couple drinks and has any feelings for you at all.

Either way, you realize you have to run, so that's good.

 

(BTW one of your best female friends is coming over tomorrow; does she have the hots for you like you have the hots for this other girl? These sagas go round n round)

 

Get her drunk again so I can try and bang her? Not a chance. I'm not into taking advantage of girls. Trust me, if I really wanted to force myself upon her while she was drunk, I could have probably done so last night. In fact, my friend kept saying it when she would take another bathroom break, and I had to keep telling him how s***ty that is. I'm way too nice to ever take advantage of a girl, let alone a drunk one. It sucks because a lot of asshole guys would, and probably get away with it.

[ChiliIrishHammock24]

This girl isn't anybody's dream girl. And Joe thinks she is, he's not thinking straight. This girl is a momentary infatuation for Joe, and she's nothing more than a dimestore hooker. Joe isn't going to find anything good by sleeping with her and then ditching her. Joe will find good things only by sticking to his morals and finding a girl who actually cares about him and wants to be with him. That ain't this girl.

 

And just because she's coming on to him doesn't make it right. Joe needs to leave this alone.

 

She is certainly not a dream girl for me, but I would never characterize her as a "hooker", "slut", or "whore" like some people have mentioned. If it wasn't completely innappropriate, I would post pictures of her so you guys could see. She reminds me of Ellen Page, and does not wear sleazy clothes at all. In fact, one of my petnames for her is "Juno" and "Junebug" because of the character Ellen Page portrays in the movie Juno. She has only had sex with 2 people in her life (consensually), and I honestly had no idea she has a great pair of titties because she doesn't wear revealing clothes. Like I said, she is kind of tomboyish in a sense.

Edited July 8, 2011 by JoeCoolMan24

[ChiliIrishHammock24]

BTW, sorry for completely jacking this thread....

 

But she finally sent me the first text since this morning......

 

Her - "Joejoe"

Me - "Hey"

Her - "How are ye?"

Me - "Meh"

Her - "I feel you so hard"

 

"so hard" is an inside joke between us. We add "so hard" to the end of sentences sometimes because it's funny. So basically she said "I feel you" on that last text. I didn't even reply, so I am sure in 15-20 minutes she will text me again.

[knightni]

I'm in a relationship.

 

I've been in it since I was much younger.

 

I love being in the relationship most times, but sometimes it's really tough to stay in love. There seems to be a lack of communication and respect. Every year it seems to costs me more and more money to go out and spend time in this relationship. Lately, everytime I get invested, it seems I am disappointed and feel like my heart has been ripped out.

 

What to do?

[The Sir]

Joe, you previously mentioned that you are a sucker for damsels in distress, and that you would feel bad for "abandoning" her at a time like this. But don't you realize that she abandons you every single day, or even multiple times a day? She texts you, or grabs your friend's dick, and flirts (and probably not just with you or your friend either), this gives her the attention she wants and desperately needs, and then runs off to her boyfriend for her sexual needs. That's abandonment. She does it constantly to you, so it's silly that you would feel bad for returning the favor.

 

I don't care how many people she's slept with. My girlfriend's slept with less people than her, and certainly that's part of the reason she's not a whore. However, my girlfriend doesn't get drunk with random dudes, show them her tits and grab their cocks. If she did that, the number of people she slept with and the types of clothes she wore would be irrelevant. She'd be a whore. If Ellen Page weren't a whore, she would have spent yesterday with her boyfriend and not in some dude's swimming pool in her panties and drunk off her ass.

 

My girlfriend says you need to end this now (and I concur). If you continue, you will be hurt worse than you are even now. There is no upside to this. It's like Will Ohman coming in to pitch the seventh inning of a game we're losing four to two. Only bad things lie ahead.

[SoxAce]

Went better than I could have imagined. He told me to go for it. Called her and got a yes for the date.

 

Pretty much knew it. And good job on your part as well.

 

And happy to help anyway I could for ya Kj.

[greg775]

Get her drunk again so I can try and bang her? Not a chance. I'm not into taking advantage of girls. Trust me, if I really wanted to force myself upon her while she was drunk, I could have probably done so last night. In fact, my friend kept saying it when she would take another bathroom break, and I had to keep telling him how s***ty that is. I'm way too nice to ever take advantage of a girl, let alone a drunk one. It sucks because a lot of asshole guys would, and probably get away with it.

 

 

I'm in a relationship.

 

I've been in it since I was much younger.

 

I love being in the relationship most times, but sometimes it's really tough to stay in love. There seems to be a lack of communication and respect. Every year it seems to costs me more and more money to go out and spend time in this relationship. Lately, everytime I get invested, it seems I am disappointed and feel like my heart has been ripped out.

 

What to do?

 

1.) I didn't mean force yourself on her. That is illegal and sick. I didn't mean get her rip roaring drunk where she's unconscious. I suggested getting her buzzed or happy and make your move. This happens, uh, in bars all the time. I thought you were attracted to her and sense you really want her, maybe even to date.

If you want her, go for it and see what she does. I figured it'd be easier for both parties to address this with some drinks. I am convinced she won't have sex with your anyway. She's using you so to speak for emotional support and she has fun in your presence. You are a good person obviously. But if you want to finally end it, I suggested to go for it and either she'll embrace it and you'll be dating or she will reject you and that will be that. Am I off base here?

I said there was a girl I hung out with as a friend that I wanted to date asked me to a wedding as a date. I went with her, we both got half drunk, I made my move, I found out she didn't want me that way. I finally knew. We continued to do things together; it wasnt even awkward the next day cause we both were buzzed.

 

2.) Wow.

Are you married? Close to being engaged? You said you've been together a long long time. In my experience, people that date a long long time ultimately "tire of each other" a bit if they do not take the next exciting step (engagement, marriage, kids). I don't know how old you are and all that, if you are in the working world or in college.

The "lack of respect" thing bothers me. Is she tiring of you? Are you tiring of her? You said at most times you "love being in the relationship."

If that is still the case, then perhaps she is your future wife. If you love being with her "most" of the time, that's good.

If not, if you are annoyed by her and feel "no respect" you may need to tell her you'd like to see other people. That can really change her attitude in a hurry. Or she'll agree and you'll know she is sick of the relationship.

Edited July 8, 2011 by greg775

[Chisoxfn]

I'm in a relationship.

 

I've been in it since I was much younger.

 

I love being in the relationship most times, but sometimes it's really tough to stay in love. There seems to be a lack of communication and respect. Every year it seems to costs me more and more money to go out and spend time in this relationship. Lately, everytime I get invested, it seems I am disappointed and feel like my heart has been ripped out.

 

What to do?

How long. Provide a little more details as to how it costs more and how you get invested? Has it been off and on?

[nitetrain8601]

She is certainly not a dream girl for me, but I would never characterize her as a "hooker", "slut", or "whore" like some people have mentioned. If it wasn't completely innappropriate, I would post pictures of her so you guys could see. She reminds me of Ellen Page, and does not wear sleazy clothes at all. In fact, one of my petnames for her is "Juno" and "Junebug" because of the character Ellen Page portrays in the movie Juno. She has only had sex with 2 people in her life (consensually), and I honestly had no idea she has a great pair of titties because she doesn't wear revealing clothes. Like I said, she is kind of tomboyish in a sense.

 

Nah bruh, she is a slut, hooker, skeezer, whore, or floozy. Whatever you want to call her, she is. She's doing it for attention. You've put in so much work, you might as well get some benefit before you end this. Else, you're going to think about her when you leave for college kicking yourself in the ass for wanting her. And my thought process is, for this chick in particular, if she's going to cheat(which I guarantee she will and probably already has), why shouldn't Joe who's been very good to her, not have a turn. And don't bring up her current boyfriend. She doesn't deserve him neither. The earlier her bf realizes that, the better off everyone else will be.

 

BTW Joe, I wouldn't even buy the whole "I've been raped" jazz. That one girl I told you about earlier claimed rape when she was 13 by her brother's really good friend. I asked why she never reported it or said anything about it to anyone else, and she said because she didn't want to get him in trouble or create problems. In the end, she told everyone who would listen she was "raped" and she was actually very much into this guy and was good friends with him. Not by intimidation, as I met the guy(without realizing that was who raped her supposedly) and he was probably one of laid back people ever. Based on my experience, you're girl is lying about being raped as well.

[The Sir]

You've put in so much work, you might as well get some benefit before you end this. Else, you're going to think about her when you leave for college kicking yourself in the ass for wanting her. And my thought process is, for this chick in particular, if she's going to cheat(which I guarantee she will and probably already has), why shouldn't Joe who's been very good to her, not have a turn. And don't bring up her current boyfriend. She doesn't deserve him neither.

 

So morals are irrelevant?

[knightni]

2.) Wow.

Are you married? Close to being engaged? You said you've been together a long long time. In my experience, people that date a long long time ultimately "tire of each other" a bit if they do not take the next exciting step (engagement, marriage, kids). I don't know how old you are and all that, if you are in the working world or in college.

The "lack of respect" thing bothers me. Is she tiring of you? Are you tiring of her? You said at most times you "love being in the relationship."

If that is still the case, then perhaps she is your future wife. If you love being with her "most" of the time, that's good.

If not, if you are annoyed by her and feel "no respect" you may need to tell her you'd like to see other people. That can really change her attitude in a hurry. Or she'll agree and you'll know she is sick of the relationship.

 

 

How long. Provide a little more details as to how it costs more and how you get invested? Has it been off and on?

 

 

My relationship is with The Chicago White Sox. She's a cruel mistress.

[SoxAce]

My relationship is with The Chicago White Sox. She's a cruel mistress.

 

I can't believe Jason and Greg thought you were being serious. I actually thought you were talking about (or highlighting about) this thread and some of the posters basic concerns/problems/questions.

Edited July 8, 2011 by SoxAce

[SouthSideTeacher]

My relationship is with The Chicago White Sox. She's a cruel mistress.

 

 

Hilarious.

[RockRaines]

Seriously Joe, stop it. You are an idiot. Ignore this b****.

[greg775]

So morals are irrelevant?

 

I can see both sides of this, but when I was college aged, summers were for fun. She's jumping around the pool half naked, he thinks she's hot, are you saying nobody ever hooks up anymore? s*** there's a movie called Friends With Benefits coming out. She's flirting like hell with him and he can't try to have sex or we are immoral? I thought I gave good advice.

If you don't want sex in a situation like that, then simply have "the talk" with her like you suggest. Tell her you want a relationship; if she doesn't quit wasting my time. That will end it as well.

 

2.) I got fooled. I thought he was serious. I had read the serious posts of the thread and figured it was another plea for help. Yikes I got owned by knight. I'd delete my post, but I can take a joke and gettin punked.

Edited July 8, 2011 by greg775

[ChiliIrishHammock24]

Nah bruh, she is a slut, hooker, skeezer, whore, or floozy. Whatever you want to call her, she is. She's doing it for attention. You've put in so much work, you might as well get some benefit before you end this. Else, you're going to think about her when you leave for college kicking yourself in the ass for wanting her. And my thought process is, for this chick in particular, if she's going to cheat(which I guarantee she will and probably already has), why shouldn't Joe who's been very good to her, not have a turn. And don't bring up her current boyfriend. She doesn't deserve him neither. The earlier her bf realizes that, the better off everyone else will be.

 

BTW Joe, I wouldn't even buy the whole "I've been raped" jazz. That one girl I told you about earlier claimed rape when she was 13 by her brother's really good friend. I asked why she never reported it or said anything about it to anyone else, and she said because she didn't want to get him in trouble or create problems. In the end, she told everyone who would listen she was "raped" and she was actually very much into this guy and was good friends with him. Not by intimidation, as I met the guy(without realizing that was who raped her supposedly) and he was probably one of laid back people ever. Based on my experience, you're girl is lying about being raped as well.

 

She's not a slut, hooker, skeezer, whore, or floozy, and I 100% believe she has been sexually abused/raped whatever by her father. I'm sorry, but I know her a lot more than you do, so don't be surprised that I would take exception to people calling her such names and accusing her of lying about things like that. She is no angel, and could very quite possibly just be playin' me, but it's not fair to say those other things.

[ChiliIrishHammock24]

Oh, and she has yet to send me a text since the "I feel you so hard" text earlier in the day. I think she either A) Has already gotten the hint I am pissed off , B) Is so embarrassed by what happened last night C) My buddy told her I was pissed off (they worked together tonight) or D) Just hasn't gotten around to it for the first time since we started constantly texting each other over a month ago.

 

Regardless, I still keep thinking about everything. Had a softball game tonight, saw a massive barn fire in my neighborhood, went to a friends bonfire and then watched some Louie CK to take my mind off things, but almost every spare moment I had and my mind was wandering, I was thinking about her and what is going to happen. This blooooowwwwsss.