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Relationship Advice Thread


witesoxfan

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I posted in this thread almost 2 months ago about getting cheated on. It's nice to come back and read all of your comments about my situation because they seem much more clear after a little distance from the problem.

 

I haven't kept much contact with his girl. However we met up at her apartment and talked for roughly an hour last Friday. It was a fun time talking to her, but she was lying about a few things. I don't live too far from her and I have to drive by her apartment complex everyday multiple times for work, softball, going into down, and whatever else. It wasn't too long after she cheated on me that this guy ended up moving in with her. I know what he drives because I've seen him around town since and there aren't too many old blue trucks with an excessive amount of stickers in my town. I've seen his truck parked in her spot many times, doesn't bother like it used to because I've accepted it's over and she's not worth it. He wasn't there when I visited with her but I asked her why her car wasn't in her spot and she said because her grandma was in her spot when she got home from work the day before which isn't true. Either way it doesn't matter, hopefully she learns someday. I also mentioned about getting together and doing something with her (big mistake on my part, shouldn't give her the satisfaction of deciding) and she said she'll get ahold of me when she wants to hangout. I told her to forget that because I don't want to hangout at her conveneince only.

 

I had a concert I was going to and was starting to be late for it, so I told her I needed to get going, she gives me this huge hug before I leave. Then I started a convo again with her and she said, don't you need to go? Basically giving me the hint to leave and then told me bye like 3 times. So I went home to change my clothes, no more than 15 minutes later I drove past her place to go to my concert and there's the other guy's truck in her parking spot again.

 

Why would she lie about him? Doesn't she not want to hurt my feelings? Does she want to keep me around if it doesn't work out with him? Does she have no idea what she wants? All of them? Something else? I don't know honestly. I guess I shouldn't have even talked to her. This last month of no contact except for saying hey to each other at the bar on Tuesdays has been better.

Edited by WilliamTell
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QUOTE (WilliamTell @ Aug 23, 2011 -> 04:27 PM)
I posted in this thread almost 2 months ago about getting cheated on. It's nice to come back and read all of your comments about my situation because they seem much more clear after a little distance from the problem.

 

I haven't kept much contact with his girl. However we met up at her apartment and talked for roughly an hour last Friday. It was a fun time talking to her, but she was lying about a few things. I don't live too far from her and I have to drive by her apartment complex everyday multiple times for work, softball, going into down, and whatever else. It wasn't too long after she cheated on me that this guy ended up moving in with her. I know what he drives because I've seen him around town since and there aren't too many old blue trucks with an excessive amount of stickers in my town. I've seen his truck parked in her spot many times, doesn't bother like it used to because I've accepted it's over and she's not worth it. He wasn't there when I visited with her but I asked her why her car wasn't in her spot and she said because her grandma was in her spot when she got home from work the day before which isn't true. Either way it doesn't matter, hopefully she learns someday. I also mentioned about getting together and doing something with her (big mistake on my part, shouldn't give her the satisfaction of deciding) and she said she'll get ahold of me when she wants to hangout. I told her to forget that because I don't want to hangout at her conveneince only.

 

I had a concert I was going to and was starting to be late for it, so I told her I needed to get going, she gives me this huge hug before I leave. Then I started a convo again with her and she said, don't you need to go? Basically giving me the hint to leave and then told me bye like 3 times. So I went home to change my clothes, no more than 15 minutes later I drove past her place to go to my concert and there's the other guy's truck in her parking spot again.

 

Why would she lie about him? Doesn't she not want to hurt my feelings? Does she want to keep me around if it doesn't work out with him? Does she have no idea what she wants? All of them? Something else? I don't know honestly. I guess I shouldn't have even talked to her. This last month of no contact except for saying hey to each other at the bar on Tuesdays has been better.

 

She wants you on the hook, just in case.

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All of you guys are right. But maybe I'm being excessive when I say no contact is better because the few times we've met up to talk we've had a great time, at least I've had a great time. Maybe she pretends who knows.

 

I never should've gotten involved with her to begin with because of the red flags I saw. I was the 4th guy she dated in a year span, make that 5 now with this guy assuming they're dating. But the first was into drugs, the second drank excessively, the third was a stalker and came off as needy, she compared me to the third one in regards to being needy. Then whatever this guy is. I'm 25, she's 22, and this guy is 20. What she wants with a 20 year old I have no idea but that's her choice. There's a chance I'll see her tonight like I do on most Tuesdays. I usually don't talk to her but we'll see.

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QUOTE (T R U @ Jul 26, 2011 -> 11:50 AM)
NEVER

 

That's what my brother in law said. Said he was still going to play everyday.

 

Well then he couldn't play on Wednesdays. Then he couldn't play on Wednesdays and Sundays. He wanted the weekend, so then he couldn't play on Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday. Then it became during the week.

 

Needless to say, 7 1/2 months into his child's life, he no longer plays XBox.

 

Atleast you have another year and a half though.

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QUOTE (SoxAce @ Aug 24, 2011 -> 05:27 AM)
He must put you to shame in bed... :ph34r:

 

Probably considering I never had sex with her. That could've been the problem who knows. I decided to try a different approach with this girl because I was really into her. Had so much fun just hanging out with her it was enough for me at the moment plus she came off as a prude, which obviously I was wrong about.

 

Anyway I ended up talking to her last night and things didn't go that well. Finally told me she's been dating this guy nearly a month now. Apparently I'm a person that constantly tries to fix things that either don't need to be fixed, or can't be fixed. And she's more of a whatever happens person. I told her that I don't even care what happens anymore and it's up to her if she wants to talk to me and asked her what she even wanted with me and she had no answer for me at all except for saying she doesn't know what she wants with anything.

 

This girl seems so confused and it's unfortunate but I feel like I can finally be done with her and move on to the next. Wish things would've been different but that happens.

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  • 1 month later...

I've been talking to this girl a bit the past few weeks, she's in a student organization Im in so we always go out but recently we've been drunk flirting a ton mixed with some dancing. It's a complete mismatch (she's absolutely beautiful), but we get along really well and apparently when I first joined the student organization she had a crush on me (which I doubt is really true, but I have no idea).

 

Just trying to play it cool, be my usual nice guy, but at the same time I want to be more aggressive in terms of dating her. I don't want this to get stuck in friend status, she's the type of girl that I can have a real conversation with, then watch It's Always Sunny with, go party with, and show her off like Ruxin in The League does with his wife. I already lost another girl I was/am really interested in to friend status recently, and I just don't want that anymore.

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QUOTE (bigruss22 @ Sep 27, 2011 -> 12:39 AM)
I've been talking to this girl a bit the past few weeks, she's in a student organization Im in so we always go out but recently we've been drunk flirting a ton mixed with some dancing. It's a complete mismatch (she's absolutely beautiful), but we get along really well and apparently when I first joined the student organization she had a crush on me (which I doubt is really true, but I have no idea).

 

Just trying to play it cool, be my usual nice guy, but at the same time I want to be more aggressive in terms of dating her. I don't want this to get stuck in friend status, she's the type of girl that I can have a real conversation with, then watch It's Always Sunny with, go party with, and show her off like Ruxin in The League does with his wife. I already lost another girl I was/am really interested in to friend status recently, and I just don't want that anymore.

Take your shot then next time you're out. Even if it doesn't work out the way you want, in the long run - you won't regret taking the chance.

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QUOTE (bigruss22 @ Sep 27, 2011 -> 01:39 AM)
I've been talking to this girl a bit the past few weeks, she's in a student organization Im in so we always go out but recently we've been drunk flirting a ton mixed with some dancing. It's a complete mismatch (she's absolutely beautiful), but we get along really well and apparently when I first joined the student organization she had a crush on me (which I doubt is really true, but I have no idea).

 

Just trying to play it cool, be my usual nice guy, but at the same time I want to be more aggressive in terms of dating her. I don't want this to get stuck in friend status, she's the type of girl that I can have a real conversation with, then watch It's Always Sunny with, go party with, and show her off like Ruxin in The League does with his wife. I already lost another girl I was/am really interested in to friend status recently, and I just don't want that anymore.

John-Cusack-Say-Anything.png

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QUOTE (SnB @ Sep 27, 2011 -> 02:31 PM)
Take your shot then next time you're out. Even if it doesn't work out the way you want, in the long run - you won't regret taking the chance.

 

Definitely agree, but this is the epitome of "easier said than done." It's very hard to do at the time since you have no idea what their response will be.

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QUOTE (farmteam @ Sep 27, 2011 -> 08:18 PM)
Definitely agree, but this is the epitome of "easier said than done." It's very hard to do at the time since you have no idea what their response will be.

 

Haha yea this. So my apartment is thinking of doing kind of a date night this Sunday. We (I) always grill every sunday, so we were going to have all the girls that each of us are seeing or want to see over and grill outside with them, then do something like bowling and finish up with smores outside again. Lame or good idea?

 

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QUOTE (bigruss22 @ Sep 27, 2011 -> 08:15 PM)
Haha yea this. So my apartment is thinking of doing kind of a date night this Sunday. We (I) always grill every sunday, so we were going to have all the girls that each of us are seeing or want to see over and grill outside with them, then do something like bowling and finish up with smores outside again. Lame or good idea?

Just invite over Soxtalk to be your wing man.

 

Seriously though, with a decent sized group of people, that's just fine.

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QUOTE (bigruss22 @ Sep 27, 2011 -> 08:15 PM)
Haha yea this. So my apartment is thinking of doing kind of a date night this Sunday. We (I) always grill every sunday, so we were going to have all the girls that each of us are seeing or want to see over and grill outside with them, then do something like bowling and finish up with smores outside again. Lame or good idea?

Screw bowling...keep the activities outdoors and do not interrupt the flow of alcohol under any circumstances.

 

I say grill, play bags or horseshoes, beer pong, maybe a little card or drinking game going on on the deck, followed up by the smores and storytime kind of thing once everyone is full and warm and tipsy...

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QUOTE (witesoxfan @ Aug 23, 2011 -> 10:06 PM)
That's what my brother in law said. Said he was still going to play everyday.

 

Well then he couldn't play on Wednesdays. Then he couldn't play on Wednesdays and Sundays. He wanted the weekend, so then he couldn't play on Monday, Tuesday, or Wednesday. Then it became during the week.

 

Needless to say, 7 1/2 months into his child's life, he no longer plays XBox.

 

Atleast you have another year and a half though.

 

Obviously I cant sit up playing Call of Duty till 3 in the morning anymore soon here but I will still be able to get some gaming in.. I don't think I would ever be able to just give it up as I enjoy it too much, but then again my wife could put the kaybash on that :(

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QUOTE (iamshack @ Sep 28, 2011 -> 11:48 PM)
Screw bowling...keep the activities outdoors and do not interrupt the flow of alcohol under any circumstances.

Honestly, alcohol and dating is a bad mix. I don't want to get blasted around a girl that I like, and I don't want her getting messed up around me.

 

The frat house rules should not apply if you want a serious relationship.

 

 

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