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Relationship Advice Thread


witesoxfan

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Here's question concerning my predicament.

 

So I have been going out with this girl for about three months. I like her, but I am supremely convinced there is a long-term future. There is another girl that I am friends with that I would like to ask out, who I think I would like better than my current GF. But since I still do like my GF, if I got rejected by the other girl, I would probably still want to continue going on with my current GF. What do I do? I know I need to ask out my friend, but do I do I have to breakup with my current GF to do that? Or can I go on one date (assuming she said yes) with the new girl and see how it goes, then break up with her if the date went well? I just don't want to cheat on my current GF.

 

 

 

 

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QUOTE (maggsmaggs @ Oct 2, 2011 -> 01:43 PM)
So I have been going out with this girl for about three months. I like her, but I am supremely convinced there is a long-term future. There is another girl that I am friends with that I would like to ask out, who I think I would like better than my current GF. But since I still do like my GF, if I got rejected by the other girl, I would probably still want to continue going on with my current GF. What do I do? I know I need to ask out my friend, but do I do I have to breakup with my current GF to do that? Or can I go on one date (assuming she said yes) with the new girl and see how it goes, then break up with her if the date went well? I just don't want to cheat on my current GF.

 

:ph34r:

 

I really hope this is some weird satire.

 

If you are this convinced that you like the friend and you absolutely need to ask her out, then you are not "supremely convinced there is a long-term future" with your current girlfriend. If you were that certain about you current girlfriend, you would focus on dating her and not be so concerned with other dating possibilities. There are always going to be more "fish in the sea". For me, I'm sure there are other travel-lusting, conservative, cute girls out there that I could date, but I don't spend a second wondering about them because I actually like my current travel-lusting, conservative, cute girlfriend and am actually supremely convinced of my long-term future with her.

 

Also consider that if this friend knows you well, she surely knows you have a girlfriend. And unless she's a complete harlot and an idiot, she's not going to think fondly of you trying to jump her bones while still jumping someone else's bones. It's not exactly an admirable quality that normal, sane people look for in their lovers.

 

Do what you want. But realize that these considerations mean you do have doubts about your current relationship. And if you decide to carry through on asking this other girl out, you need to break up with the current one first. It just wouldn't be fair to her.

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QUOTE (God Loves The Infantry @ Oct 2, 2011 -> 03:24 PM)
:ph34r:

 

I really hope this is some weird satire.

 

If you are this convinced that you like the friend and you absolutely need to ask her out, then you are not "supremely convinced there is a long-term future" with your current girlfriend. If you were that certain about you current girlfriend, you would focus on dating her and not be so concerned with other dating possibilities. There are always going to be more "fish in the sea". For me, I'm sure there are other travel-lusting, conservative, cute girls out there that I could date, but I don't spend a second wondering about them because I actually like my current travel-lusting, conservative, cute girlfriend and am actually supremely convinced of my long-term future with her.

 

Also consider that if this friend knows you well, she surely knows you have a girlfriend. And unless she's a complete harlot and an idiot, she's not going to think fondly of you trying to jump her bones while still jumping someone else's bones. It's not exactly an admirable quality that normal, sane people look for in their lovers.

 

Do what you want. But realize that these considerations mean you do have doubts about your current relationship. And if you decide to carry through on asking this other girl out, you need to break up with the current one first. It just wouldn't be fair to her.

Typing error. That was definitely meant to say NOT supremely convinced...Probably need to re-read my posts before I post.

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QUOTE (Milkman delivers @ Oct 2, 2011 -> 05:43 PM)
Either way, you definitely do not go out with another girl while dating her. You probably shouldn't even ask the other girl out first, as that's pretty s***ty. Imagine yourself in that position. You find out your girlfriend asked another guy out, he said no, so she kept dating you. Or you find out that your girlfriend went out on a date with another guy while still dating you. I'd be pretty angry and I think you would be, too.

The dirty hippy liberal agrees with this statement.

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QUOTE (Milkman delivers @ Oct 2, 2011 -> 03:43 PM)
Either way, you definitely do not go out with another girl while dating her. You probably shouldn't even ask the other girl out first, as that's pretty s***ty. Imagine yourself in that position. You find out your girlfriend asked another guy out, he said no, so she kept dating you. Or you find out that your girlfriend went out on a date with another guy while still dating you. I'd be pretty angry and I think you would be, too.

 

In light of the rather significant typing error, I'll vouch for this post.

 

And maggsmaggs, the typing error still doesn't change that the friend knows (well, I assume) that you have a girlfriend and probably won't react favorably to you trying to date her without dumping the other girl first.

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QUOTE (Milkman delivers @ Oct 2, 2011 -> 04:43 PM)
Either way, you definitely do not go out with another girl while dating her. You probably shouldn't even ask the other girl out first, as that's pretty s***ty. Imagine yourself in that position. You find out your girlfriend asked another guy out, he said no, so she kept dating you. Or you find out that your girlfriend went out on a date with another guy while still dating you. I'd be pretty angry and I think you would be, too.

 

Pssh.. your just not a player Milk.. ;)

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QUOTE (knightni @ Sep 29, 2011 -> 09:48 PM)
Even in college it's a bad mix. If he wants a fling, he can get drunk and go after any girl; but, if he REALLY likes this one and wants a relationship, he needs to approach it in a more mature way.

 

I started a 2 and a half year relationship due to being intoxicated beyond belief. Alcohol is a good thing.

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QUOTE (BigSqwert @ Oct 5, 2011 -> 11:18 AM)
Oh my. You had to go there.

 

:chimp

You opened the door for him...

 

So I have a question...what's everyone's opinions on when you have a date with a chick that definitely seems to be out of your league? I know your good pals will say "Don't say that! No one is out of your league!"

 

Yada yada...I think a few times I have gone out with chicks that I was definitely outkicking my coverage on, and I think it makes me uncomfortable. I usually don't even bother with super hot chicks, because I figure it will just be more trouble than it's worth. I hate being with that girl that EVERY SINGLE DUDE is checking out everywhere you go. And every time you go to the bathroom, there is some dude sidling up to her trying to get her number. I've had a few friends like that, and that is a pain enough itself.

 

I went on a date Sunday with a chick, and honestly, it was the middle of the football games, like 4th quarter of the early games...I got to the bar first, and I was sitting there watching the Bears try and put away the Panthers, and then she walks in, and it was like the entire bar stopped. She comes in wearing this little denim dress with San Diego Chargers wristbands on. Every dude is looking at me like, ok, he's either loaded, is hung like one of those zebras you see at the zoo, or this is a blind date and she will walk out on him the second he has to go to the bathroom.

 

The date went well, and she called me afterwards to tell me she had a great time, but I am still uncomfortable. Just too damn hot for me...Now I usually get pretty cute girls, but not the showstoppers....

 

Thoughts....?

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QUOTE (iamshack @ Oct 5, 2011 -> 11:59 AM)
You opened the door for him...

 

So I have a question...what's everyone's opinions on when you have a date with a chick that definitely seems to be out of your league? I know your good pals will say "Don't say that! No one is out of your league!"

 

Yada yada...I think a few times I have gone out with chicks that I was definitely outkicking my coverage on, and I think it makes me uncomfortable. I usually don't even bother with super hot chicks, because I figure it will just be more trouble than it's worth. I hate being with that girl that EVERY SINGLE DUDE is checking out everywhere you go. And every time you go to the bathroom, there is some dude sidling up to her trying to get her number. I've had a few friends like that, and that is a pain enough itself.

 

I went on a date Sunday with a chick, and honestly, it was the middle of the football games, like 4th quarter of the early games...I got to the bar first, and I was sitting there watching the Bears try and put away the Panthers, and then she walks in, and it was like the entire bar stopped. She comes in wearing this little denim dress with San Diego Chargers wristbands on. Every dude is looking at me like, ok, he's either loaded, is hung like one of those zebras you see at the zoo, or this is a blind date and she will walk out on him the second he has to go to the bathroom.

 

The date went well, and she called me afterwards to tell me she had a great time, but I am still uncomfortable. Just too damn hot for me...Now I usually get pretty cute girls, but not the showstoppers....

 

Thoughts....?

 

You're overthinking this. Just think about the girl you're going out with at the time, and make sure you give her your attention and she's giving you hers. Sounds strange, but there are a ton of females who don't always go for the hottest looking guy, but one with the best personality.

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QUOTE (nitetrain8601 @ Oct 5, 2011 -> 12:02 PM)
You're overthinking this. Just think about the girl you're going out with at the time, and make sure you give her your attention and she's giving you hers. Sounds strange, but there are a ton of females who don't always go for the hottest looking guy, but one with the best personality.

Yeah, I suppose...it's not even so much an issue of me not being confident enough, I just hate dealing with swarms of dudes all the time...ahh, the life of a single guy...;)

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QUOTE (iamshack @ Oct 5, 2011 -> 11:59 AM)
You opened the door for him...

 

So I have a question...what's everyone's opinions on when you have a date with a chick that definitely seems to be out of your league? I know your good pals will say "Don't say that! No one is out of your league!"

 

Yada yada...I think a few times I have gone out with chicks that I was definitely outkicking my coverage on, and I think it makes me uncomfortable. I usually don't even bother with super hot chicks, because I figure it will just be more trouble than it's worth. I hate being with that girl that EVERY SINGLE DUDE is checking out everywhere you go. And every time you go to the bathroom, there is some dude sidling up to her trying to get her number. I've had a few friends like that, and that is a pain enough itself.

 

I went on a date Sunday with a chick, and honestly, it was the middle of the football games, like 4th quarter of the early games...I got to the bar first, and I was sitting there watching the Bears try and put away the Panthers, and then she walks in, and it was like the entire bar stopped. She comes in wearing this little denim dress with San Diego Chargers wristbands on. Every dude is looking at me like, ok, he's either loaded, is hung like one of those zebras you see at the zoo, or this is a blind date and she will walk out on him the second he has to go to the bathroom.

 

The date went well, and she called me afterwards to tell me she had a great time, but I am still uncomfortable. Just too damn hot for me...Now I usually get pretty cute girls, but not the showstoppers....

 

Thoughts....?

 

Hmm. I felt the same way back when I was dating and always struggled with trying to date a showstopper. Whenever I did it never really lasted long, probably because of my insecurities.

 

I'll defer to others on this one.

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QUOTE (BigSqwert @ Oct 5, 2011 -> 01:17 PM)
Hmm. I felt the same way back when I was dating and always struggled with trying to date a showstopper. Whenever I did it never really lasted long, probably because of my insecurities.

 

I'll defer to others on this one.

 

Key is, don't be insecure. I see it as making it to the pro's. You're obviously good enough if you got to that point. Do what you did to get there, and the ride will continue. Start thinking about other things out of your control(image, criticism, etc.) and you will end up out of the league, or in this case, without this girl or any other hot girl who wants to date you. Remember, the girl wanted to go out with you.

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QUOTE (nitetrain8601 @ Oct 5, 2011 -> 01:28 PM)
Key is, don't be insecure. I see it as making it to the pro's. You're obviously good enough if you got to that point. Do what you did to get there, and the ride will continue. Start thinking about other things out of your control(image, criticism, etc.) and you will end up out of the league, or in this case, without this girl or any other hot girl who wants to date you. Remember, the girl wanted to go out with you.

 

I completely understand what you're saying but it's easier said then done. Also, back when I was younger I was less mature so I'd get jealous easier. If I were single now I think I'd handle it much better.

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QUOTE (BigSqwert @ Oct 5, 2011 -> 01:30 PM)
I completely understand what you're saying but it's easier said then done. Also, back when I was younger I was less mature so I'd get jealous easier. If I were single now I think I'd handle it much better.

Yeah, you definitely realize how silly it is to bother getting jealous...

 

I guess it all depends on the girl...there are the super hot girls that are promiscuous and crazy and just out for attention, and there are super hot girls that are genuinely nice, normal chicks (that just happen to be super hot). I guess I'll just have to assume she is the latter until she demonstrates otherwise.

 

She keeps saying she wants to come over and do a Breaking Bad and Mad Men marathon...I guess I won't have to deal with any other dudes there other than Blur, my dog...;)

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QUOTE (iamshack @ Oct 5, 2011 -> 01:33 PM)
Yeah, you definitely realize how silly it is to bother getting jealous...

 

I guess it all depends on the girl...there are the super hot girls that are promiscuous and crazy and just out for attention, and there are super hot girls that are genuinely nice, normal chicks (that just happen to be super hot). I guess I'll just have to assume she is the latter until she demonstrates otherwise.

 

She keeps saying she wants to come over and do a Breaking Bad and Mad Men marathon...I guess I won't have to deal with any other dudes there other than Blur, my dog...;)

There you go. Just roll with it and have fun.

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QUOTE (iamshack @ Oct 5, 2011 -> 11:59 AM)
So I have a question...what's everyone's opinions on when you have a date with a chick that definitely seems to be out of your league? I know your good pals will say "Don't say that! No one is out of your league!"

If she said yes to a date, then clearly she doesn't think she's out of your league so I don't see the issue.

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QUOTE (iamshack @ Oct 5, 2011 -> 01:17 PM)
Yeah, I suppose...it's not even so much an issue of me not being confident enough, I just hate dealing with swarms of dudes all the time...ahh, the life of a single guy...;)

 

Taking this sentence completely out of context without reading any of the other posts...

 

:lolhitting

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