southsider2k5 Posted January 19, 2012 Share Posted January 19, 2012 QUOTE (iamshack @ Jan 19, 2012 -> 09:37 AM) So...fellas....how long did you date your girlfriend/wife before you asked her to move in or you moved in to her place? She didn't move in until we got married. So like 4+ years. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamshack Posted January 19, 2012 Share Posted January 19, 2012 QUOTE (BigSqwert @ Jan 19, 2012 -> 10:45 AM) Basically moved into her place within 4 months. Bought a condo together about 3 months after that. Sqwerty! And how do you feel about that timeline now, looking back? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigSqwert Posted January 19, 2012 Share Posted January 19, 2012 QUOTE (iamshack @ Jan 19, 2012 -> 08:48 AM) Sqwerty! And how do you feel about that timeline now, looking back? Perfectly fine with it. We're happily married and I wouldn't have changed anything. Some of you might be appalled by that timeline but things are way different when you're in your mid 30s compared to your 20s. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamshack Posted January 19, 2012 Share Posted January 19, 2012 QUOTE (BigSqwert @ Jan 19, 2012 -> 10:50 AM) Perfectly fine with it. We're happily married and I wouldn't have changed anything. Some of you might be appalled by that timeline but things are way different when you're in your mid 30s compared to your 20s. I think everything just resolves around your own personalities. You can find happy couples that have taken just about any route you can dream up; there is no "right" or "wrong" way. Perhaps more conventional, but not wrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeGone33 Posted January 19, 2012 Share Posted January 19, 2012 (edited) 4 months, it was of great financial benefit for me to move in with her that quick. Edited January 19, 2012 by HeGone33 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamshack Posted January 19, 2012 Share Posted January 19, 2012 QUOTE (HeGone33 @ Jan 19, 2012 -> 11:01 AM) 4 months, it was of great financial benefit for me to move in with her that quick. This is something I am glad someone was willing to mention. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soxbadger Posted January 19, 2012 Share Posted January 19, 2012 Last girl I lived with was after we dated a little more than 1 year. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigSqwert Posted January 19, 2012 Share Posted January 19, 2012 QUOTE (iamshack @ Jan 19, 2012 -> 09:05 AM) This is something I am glad someone was willing to mention. There was certainly a financial benefit to both of us when we moved in together but it wasn't the main reason for going forward with it....and it never should be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southsider2k5 Posted January 19, 2012 Share Posted January 19, 2012 QUOTE (iamshack @ Jan 19, 2012 -> 10:57 AM) I think everything just resolves around your own personalities. You can find happy couples that have taken just about any route you can dream up; there is no "right" or "wrong" way. Perhaps more conventional, but not wrong. That's how I look at it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamshack Posted January 19, 2012 Share Posted January 19, 2012 QUOTE (BigSqwert @ Jan 19, 2012 -> 12:08 PM) There was certainly a financial benefit to both of us when we moved in together but it wasn't the main reason for going forward with it....and it never should be. Of course not...if that is your reasoning, you should get a roommate. But there are certainly other factors that can influence the timeline of these things. My girlfriend is doing a lot of hinting lately...which is why I ask...we've only been dating a bit over 3 months... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WilliamTell Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 After 4 weeks or so I've got my money back for the concert tickets I was talking about! Whoo! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoxFan1 Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 I'll throw this out there: Got pretty serious with a girl last month. Thing is, we both graduated on the same day. She lives 4 1/2 hours away. We both decided we want to try and make it work, but being college grads and looking for jobs who-knows-where kinda makes things very uncertain. Saw her twice in the last month since we left, took her to a wedding and we spent the weekend together last week. Any suggestions? Long distance stuff sucks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoxFan1 Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 QUOTE (Milkman delivers @ Jan 20, 2012 -> 10:11 PM) Long distance can only work if you plan on getting back together at some point, and even then it's hard. If you're both back home and have no idea what you're going to be doing next, then my advice is to just end it now We definitely plan on getting back together, but the problem is that there is no exact date at to when there will be a resolution. It's kind of wait and see right now, which is tough. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamshack Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 The girlfriend just got advance notice of a promotion and relocation to LA at some point this year...she accepted. Oh brother. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamshack Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 QUOTE (Milkman delivers @ Jan 31, 2012 -> 10:05 PM) How long is "just"? I mean, did she accept it without even talking to you? Late this afternoon...and yes...she's from LA originally and all her friends are there...I knew this would probably be part of the deal. We've only been together for 3 months, so this doesn't mean much for me yet...but it does sort of put me to a decision of some sort. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farmteam Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 QUOTE (iamshack @ Jan 31, 2012 -> 09:15 PM) Late this afternoon...and yes...she's from LA originally and all her friends are there...I knew this would probably be part of the deal. We've only been together for 3 months, so this doesn't mean much for me yet...but it does sort of put me to a decision of some sort. Weren't you looking at a job in LA recently? Or am I thinking of someone else around here? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamshack Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 QUOTE (farmteam @ Jan 31, 2012 -> 09:28 PM) Weren't you looking at a job in LA recently? Or am I thinking of someone else around here? Good memory. A guy from a utility in SoCal actually called me to recruit me...but the salary wasn't high enough for it to make sense with just me...but yeah, with two incomes, it could possibly work...especially since she makes more than me Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigSqwert Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 QUOTE (Milkman delivers @ Jan 31, 2012 -> 08:48 PM) She accepted a job that entails moving away from you without discussing it with you. I wouldn't move there for her, especially if you'll be depending on her financially. This was my initial reaction as well. Mark, we missing any other details? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigruss Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 QUOTE (BigSqwert @ Jan 31, 2012 -> 10:52 PM) This was my initial reaction as well. Mark, we missing any other details? Yea that popped out at me to. Even at only 3 months, if she felt like the relationship was going somewhere then she would've consulted him a bit first (not saying that her decision depended on him though, 3 months isn't that long). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamshack Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 Oh, perhaps some more details are necessary, because that didn't even strike me as something that she should have asked me about...so I guess there was an understanding on our part that I haven't made clear. Or maybe I am just an idiot. So I have been aware from the first date that she was from LA and wanted to eventually get back there...but we thought the way she would do so would be through starting her own bakery business as opposed to getting promoted in her current job. The two of us have been looking at the best way to start this business of hers, and so we've talked about the best markets for it and such. We were talking Sunday and I even said something like "If I want to date you, I have to be willing to eventually relocate to LA." She works for an italian company that makes super high-end shoes/boots/bags. Her boss called her yesterday and said "The CEO is very impressed with you. You've been the only GM in the US to exceed same-store sales for the last 6 consecutive months. He is aware that you have expressed interest in having a store in CA before, and he happens to be working on the paperwork for a store in Beverly Hills right now. We would like you to run it." Apparently, she said she would absolutely love to take the opportunity. Now they haven't even secured the space yet, and they will need to build-out the store, and she said being that her company is italian, they tend to move at a very leisurely pace. So she's not sure when they'll even need her, but they are hoping to have it open "some time this year." She is from LA originally, her twin brother lives there, many of her friends live there, etc. If someone called me today and offered me a great position in Chicago, I honestly don't know how much my decision would depend on her. Certainly I would want her to come with me, but when you work and work and work to achieve something in your life, and then it falls into your lap, sometimes asking someone you didn't even know 4 or 5 months ago doesn't occur to you immediately. One thing she did say immediately, was "Start looking for a job in LA." So I guess the plan will be to move in with her in the next few months and just see where that takes us. Then, when they come calling for her to move to LA, I will be in a better position to know whether I am willing to follow her or not. And I certainly wouldn't be depending on her financially. It's just that the housing prices in LA are such that my standard of living in Vegas is MUCH higher on one income than it would be in LA. However, with two incomes, that would change things quite a bit, and perhaps increase the quality of life versus just how much disposable income I have every month. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southsider2k5 Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 I can't blame her for going, and making the decision on her own at this stage of the relationship. This is slam dunk/have to do move for her. Did you end up buying a place yet? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamshack Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 QUOTE (southsider2k5 @ Feb 1, 2012 -> 09:43 AM) I can't blame her for going, and making the decision on her own at this stage of the relationship. This is slam dunk/have to do move for her. Did you end up buying a place yet? Yes, I bought a home at the end of August. I would either rent my place or sell it. Probably rent it since I have someone that would like to do so and would put a few hundred bucks profit in my pocket every month. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamshack Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 QUOTE (Milkman delivers @ Feb 1, 2012 -> 09:49 AM) If you're not sure you have the money to live on your own out there, it's probably not a good idea to depend on living with someone you've only known/dated for three months. Plus already having a home and there being no discussion (even though it was an opportunity she couldn't pass up), it just seems like an easy choice to break it off amicably. How do you rate that versus just continuing to date until forced to make a decision? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamshack Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 QUOTE (Milkman delivers @ Feb 1, 2012 -> 11:20 AM) That could work, too. It would give you a better idea of what her plans are. I think I know what her plans are. I would like to know a bit more so I can make my own... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southsider2k5 Posted February 1, 2012 Share Posted February 1, 2012 QUOTE (iamshack @ Feb 1, 2012 -> 10:09 AM) How do you rate that versus just continuing to date until forced to make a decision? Nothing wrong with that honestly. Just don't let what is coming in the near future taint things one way or the other... that's the hard part. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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