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Relationship Advice Thread


witesoxfan

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  • 7 months later...
QUOTE (GoodAsGould @ Oct 12, 2012 -> 02:43 AM)
Is it just me or is going on dates sometimes feel more like a hassle than something I want to do, maybe just not finding the right girls.

 

Two things I hate more than just about anything are first dates and interviews, both for the same basic reasons.

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QUOTE (iamshack @ Oct 12, 2012 -> 10:05 AM)
Tell us about the special guy...

 

He's superbig, strong, and muscular, and said he would cuddle all night. It was an easy choice.

 

---

 

I met her last week playing bingo with coworkers and her mom. Her mom actually set everything up, because I ork with her too (not on the same floor, but there will be interaction between us), so it could be a sticky situation if it ends up not working out. But I've been off the dating scene for 2 years now, so I'm really excited about it and I'm most interested in seeing her away from her parents but still out of her comfort zone.

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QUOTE (witesoxfan @ Oct 12, 2012 -> 02:35 AM)
7 months and nobody wants to talk about a relationship?

 

Anyways, wite has a date tomorrow night

 

I've given up on relationships, after spending everyday for 3 years of my life with the girl of my dreams and her pretty much ripping my heart out and eatting it for breakfast I just gave up.

 

I'm married to soxtalk, thats all I need.

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QUOTE (2nd_city_saint787 @ Oct 12, 2012 -> 10:13 AM)
I've given up on relationships, after spending everyday for 3 years of my life with the girl of my dreams and her pretty much ripping my heart out and eatting it for breakfast I just gave up.

 

I'm married to soxtalk, thats all I need.

 

Been there. Don't put myself out there much unless its a girl I already know or trust to some point.

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QUOTE (2nd_city_saint787 @ Oct 12, 2012 -> 10:13 AM)
I've given up on relationships, after spending everyday for 3 years of my life with the girl of my dreams and her pretty much ripping my heart out and eatting it for breakfast I just gave up.

 

I'm married to soxtalk, thats all I need.

 

i feel ya man. Hey the single life isnt so bad. Ive been in a relationship for a while now and i miss the days when I didnt have to acknowledge someone else's "rules of the household" so to speak. Things were much easier when i lived by my own efficient system and could play xbox or go to the bar as i pleased. I dont mind getting my human interactions with female friends and going out to dinner dates with them here and there. Its like a rental date that you dont have to take home.

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Ya man its the worst. Unless someone comes along and "sweeps me off my feet" I just don't care. Its been over 2 years and s*** still hurts me, everything I do reminds me of her. For the 3 years I was with her, I drove her to her "friends" house everyday after we hung out, turns out it was actually her now husbands house! what kind of s*** is that!!

 

I never wanna go through something like that again!

Edited by 2nd_city_saint787
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QUOTE (witesoxfan @ Oct 12, 2012 -> 11:12 AM)
I met her last week playing bingo with coworkers and her mom. Her mom actually set everything up, because I ork with her too (not on the same floor, but there will be interaction between us), so it could be a sticky situation if it ends up not working out. But I've been off the dating scene for 2 years now, so I'm really excited about it and I'm most interested in seeing her away from her parents but still out of her comfort zone.

 

How old are you? LOL.

 

For your second date, you guys should go play canasta and then watch antique roadshow until you pass out at 6 pm. ;)

Edited by JoeCoolMan24
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QUOTE (2nd_city_saint787 @ Oct 12, 2012 -> 12:47 PM)
Ya man its the worst. Unless someone comes along and "sweeps me off my feet" I just don't care. Its been over 2 years and s*** still hurts me, everything I do reminds me of her. For the 3 years I was with her, I drove her to her "friends" house everyday after we hung out, turns out it was actually her now husbands house! what kind of s*** is that!!

 

I never wanna go through something like that again!

 

I agree with the apathetic part you are feeling.

 

As sad as it sounds, I haven't had a girlfriend in 5 years now. It wasn't because of a broken heart, because I broke up with my girlfriend over her going away to school and being too far away from me, but I just haven't even cared enough to try and date anyone. If you guys remember from summer 2011 in this thread, I was with this one girl, Jazmine, for the summer. That was fun, but we weren't technically dating. Then summer of 2012 came around, and SHE was the one who wanted to be with ME, but I reversed roles and I was the one who never let us get too close.

 

I live with 2 female roommates (and I did last year too), and they are always telling me I need to bring some chicks home and blah blah blah, but I never really care enough. I don't know what it is with me, but I'm not like "god I need to have sex soon!" It just doesn't bother me, and I rarely think about it, and I'm too lazy/apathetic to try and get a girl. I am certainly attracted to girls, that's not in question, but I'm just too lazy to do anything about it. Part of it is probably lack of self-confidence, but most of it is apathy and laziness. There have been girls that have had interest in me, in fact, one of them this summer that is absolutely gorgeous. But knowing that I was going back to school in a month, I didn't want to waste my time on someone I'd not get to see for 4-5 months. So I gave up, and one of my friends is now pursuing her hardcore. It bothers me a LITTLE, knowing that I could have MAYBE had been dating a bombshell who was in to me, and was a real cool chick, but the other part of me says it was the right move not to waste time and energy.

 

Also, I should add that I am not the "let's go bang some randoms" type of person. If I want to have sex with a girl, it's a girl I think I can date. Sluts disgust me and I don't want to get mixed up with shady people. So for me, it's annoying to hear my roommates tell me to go f*** some girl tonight because in my head, I would have to know if I like this person before I would want to do anything with them. It's probably the reason I go for good girls and ones that look adorable, rather than ones that look sexy and easy.

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Completely agree and can relate to all that Joe.

 

I've been a wreck for the last 2 years.

 

I find myself comparing any girl into me to her and thats a f***in mess.

 

I still dream about her which is brutal when trying to forget about her.

 

As much as a b**** I feel like saying it, she ruined my life.

 

And I wouldn't be lying when I say soxtalk has kept me from doing something stupid with my life.

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QUOTE (JoeCoolMan24 @ Oct 12, 2012 -> 01:21 PM)
How old are you? LOL.

 

For your second date, you guys should go play canasta and then watch antique roadshow until you pass out at 6 pm. ;)

 

Her 50 year old mom set it up, with her 40-50 year old friends. The entire point was just to get us to meet. I don't foresee playing bingo any time soon unless it's as a family get together.

 

---

 

The date went really well. Like hot tubbing really well. Her parents were home, so there was nothing graphic, but it was a great first date.

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Ahhhhh some of you guys need to sack up. The single life is the free life. You can do what you want, when you want, how you want. You can spend your own self-made money wherever you want. Get married, that goes straight down the s***ter! If you're still moping after 2-3 years, you probably should talk to someone. No broad is worth that crap.

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QUOTE (He_Gawn @ Oct 13, 2012 -> 08:26 AM)
Ahhhhh some of you guys need to sack up. The single life is the free life. You can do what you want, when you want, how you want. You can spend your own self-made money wherever you want. Get married, that goes straight down the s***ter! If you're still moping after 2-3 years, you probably should talk to someone. No broad is worth that crap.

That type of stuff doesn't go in the s***ter if you pick the right girl.

 

But you are right about the moping. There are so many girls out there, getting stuck on one and letting your breakup ruin your life is a waste of time. You'll find someone else in due time, just live your life, concentrate on what you want to do and it will happen.

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QUOTE (He_Gawn @ Oct 13, 2012 -> 08:26 AM)
Ahhhhh some of you guys need to sack up. The single life is the free life. You can do what you want, when you want, how you want. You can spend your own self-made money wherever you want. Get married, that goes straight down the s***ter! If you're still moping after 2-3 years, you probably should talk to someone. No broad is worth that crap.

 

lol, Married life is no death sentence i can assure you.

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QUOTE (RockRaines @ Oct 13, 2012 -> 09:03 AM)
That type of stuff doesn't go in the s***ter if you pick the right girl.

 

But you are right about the moping. There are so many girls out there, getting stuck on one and letting your breakup ruin your life is a waste of time. You'll find someone else in due time, just live your life, concentrate on what you want to do and it will happen.

 

Nooo, not a waste of time, it is being wasted all the time. I was s***faced 5 of 7 nights a week. It was stupid.

 

As it always is, you look back and see how ridiculous you were. For me, it's like we had our fun, we were a good couple (because you have to be to some extent to be with someone for long enough that it hurts when you break up), but at the end of the day, being together was simply not something we could have done. There was a lack of communication and a lack of trust within the relationship from both sides, and we were at different points in our lives upon graduation. There are times in that relationship that I look fondly of, but when you can get past the bulls***, you'll remember why you broke up, and that's because by the end of it, there was more bad than good.

 

And, as cheesy as it is, The Eagles "Desperado" was the biggest song that turned me around. In my head, it nailed love, relationships, and the pain of breaking up and moving on right on the head. Plus it's a pretty good song so long as you don't hate the f***ing Eagles man.

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I've been told my choice in women is pretty shallow but that I'm also a good guy. Not sure how that makes sense. Basically I'm 6'2 and 190 lbs and want a girl who will work out and take care of herself. She's also got to be outgoing, friendly, confident and not a valley girl. I'm not a blonde girl kind of guy and I have to trust her. I think what people think I demand is the whole "must have nice tits, flat stomach and be athletic and toned" look, which is sort of true, but not at the same time.

 

Since I had a major breakup a few years ago, I tried to go to bars with friends without expectations and just see where things went. I found I couldn't pickup women there but I could at house parties. My senior year I had plenty of hookups (legendary trips to Bradley, ISU and Iowa had good results) and that continued into the summer when I found someone I actually liked. There was some initial attraction but she said there wasn't enough of a spark even if the sex was great. That lead to me being friend zoned and ultimately to Match.com.

 

I've been on countless first dates (some good, some bad -- like a girl who got me in her car and hooked up with me there), met plenty of new people and even dated a girl for 3-4 months. It's the greatest place to find someone with the same interests, take them out on a date to see if they are compatible and the easiest way to get to know someone. It's a lot cheaper paying for a subscription for 3 months as opposed to going to the bar and buying a round for a girl and her friends, only to have them walk away from you. Still looking for a relationship but I am definitely trying to better myself (move out since I've gotten a new job, workout to stay healthy and try new things).

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QUOTE (witesoxfan @ Oct 13, 2012 -> 11:44 AM)
Good for you. You sound like you're in a much better spot than you were a year or 2 ago, and you'll find the right one eventually.

Wite, did you get a second date with the girl you had mentioned previously? The first date sounded like it went well.

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QUOTE (2nd_city_saint787 @ Oct 13, 2012 -> 12:11 AM)
Completely agree and can relate to all that Joe.

 

I've been a wreck for the last 2 years.

 

I find myself comparing any girl into me to her and thats a f***in mess.

 

I still dream about her which is brutal when trying to forget about her.

 

As much as a b**** I feel like saying it, she ruined my life.

 

And I wouldn't be lying when I say soxtalk has kept me from doing something stupid with my life.

 

Well you must be comparing these girls to some idealized version of your ex because she treated you bad.

 

I can't honestly say I can relate to that but I do want to say that you're allowing that girl to be a reflection of you. In other words, you allowed her to represent something you liked about yourself that you now think is gone. Which, of course, it isn't.

 

Fact is, f*** her. The next person you meet doesn't know about her. The next girl you meet doesn't know about her. Just keep moving forward.

 

And yeah, it's hard.

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