Relationship Advice Thread

[southsider2k5]

Exactly. $11/hr is pretty awful. I'm making $23/hr working as a cater waiter. Requires the same skills as being a security guard( none) and pays twice as much. Set higher goals for yourself dude. What are you afraid of?

 

NYC is way higher of a pay structure than Chicago.

[2nd_city_saint787]

Any thought of becoming a cop?

 

I have a petty felony (assisting a criminal, when I was 18) on my record, I believe that would restrict me. This has been my problem with many up scale jobs.

[G&T]

I have a petty felony (assisting a criminal, when I was 18) on my record, I believe that would restrict me. This has been my problem with many up scale jobs.

 

Yeah, I remember that, but I wouldn't write anything off because of that.

[justBLAZE]

I agree with everything Rock and Jake said, and saint please don't take my words the wrong way I'm simply trying to bring out the best from you, do not settle, strive to be the best kind of speech.

[greg775]

Lol I'm not afraid of s***, I like working in security.

 

I'm a simple man. Money doesn't buy me happiness. Following my favorite sports team is what brings me happiness. Smokin ganj and watching comedies bring me happiness. Laughing is free and blissful. I don't need a fancy car, a big house or a fancy phone to make me happy, those things are overrated.

 

Yeah, but that's not enough money to make a living someday if you want to raise a family. You better marry a woman who has a great job or is from wealth. Also does that job even pay benefits? At some point you are gonna need benefits. s*** if you are 25 and playing basketball and wrench a knee you are gonna need some bucks to pay for it.

Edited October 19, 2012 by greg775

[The Beast]

Would you be interested in any health care careers? They are still thriving despite the legislation and some even only need an associate's degree. Just a thought.

[2nd_city_saint787]

Yeah, I remember that, but I wouldn't write anything off because of that.

 

I think, though I'm not positive, you can't carry a gun with a felony on your record...I'd have to look into that again.

 

 

I agree with everything Rock and Jake said, and saint please don't take my words the wrong way I'm simply trying to bring out the best from you, do not settle, strive to be the best kind of speech.

 

Naw man you're all good, I appreciate what you're trying to do. Like I said though, I don't smoke to look cool, fit in, or drown away my problems, I genuinely just like the feeling of being high, it's cloud 9 for me.

 

I also have chronic neck and back pain, if weed was legal in IN or I moved to a state it was this wouldn't even be an issue...well only because I had some card that magically makes the drug alright.

 

 

 

 

[2nd_city_saint787]

Yeah, but that's not enough money to make a living someday if you want to raise a family. You better marry a woman who has a great job or is from wealth. Also does that job even pay benefits? At some point you are gonna need benefits. s*** if you are 25 and playing basketball and wrench a knee you are gonna need some bucks to pay for it.

 

I don't plan on having kids, or getting into any kind of serious relationship any time soon so I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. I want me a simple woman, if we have a roof of our own over our head and each other then I'm happy, and I she would be to.

 

Some do, my last security gig you got benefits after a year of service.

 

There's a thing called a free clinic if something serious happens before I get benefits. I played rugby for 2 years with no insurance. I'm fearless lol jkjk

 

 

Would you be interested in any health care careers? They are still thriving despite the legislation and some even only need an associate's degree. Just a thought.

 

If I'm gonna do anything that involves me going to college it's going to be for journalism...Though it that wouldn't be a bad idea seeing as I live a block away from a hospital, it'd be nice to get in there with gas prices the way they are.

[Jake]

I'm not going to decide whether any job is too good or too bad or not a good fit for you, for sure. It sounds like you really enjoy interacting with people, so don't be afraid to think of other options that can let you do that or even do it better. Healthcare professions do sound interesting and if you are anything in real life like you are on here, you may love being able to meet and help a huge amount of people on a daily basis. On the other hand, even an AA degree doesn't come free so I'm not going to act like you can materialize some qualifications out of thin air.

 

I'll reiterate that I think you're on a fine track. You're also allowed to completely change your mind at some point if things change and you'll probably second guess things occasionally and that too is healthy. We also apparently love to help you in your second guessing on here .

 

Alcohol is much worse for your body, makes you chemically dependent and is more addictive and actually kills people on an annual basis. You literally cannot overdose on marijuana.

 

Couldn't have said it better.

[Reddy]

I think, though I'm not positive, you can't carry a gun with a felony on your record...I'd have to look into that again.

 

 

 

 

Naw man you're all good, I appreciate what you're trying to do. Like I said though, I don't smoke to look cool, fit in, or drown away my problems, I genuinely just like the feeling of being high, it's cloud 9 for me.

 

I also have chronic neck and back pain, if weed was legal in IN or I moved to a state it was this wouldn't even be an issue...well only because I had some card that magically makes the drug alright.

get in shape that pain will be gone.

 

dude, at the end of the day, it sounds like you're happy right where you are. and if that's the case, then that's great. i'm the type of person who wants to be the best version of myself i can be - but i know not everyone's as crazy as me. and more power to you if you really are happy.

 

i just don't wanna look back on my death bed and wish I'd done it differently ya know?

[Reddy]

NYC is way higher of a pay structure than Chicago.

 

baristas and coffee house workers still make $8-$10/hour in NYC. it's not way higher.

[Reddy]

weird. Tony Horton posted this tonight on his facebook:

 

 

Do You Believe In The Truth?

 

The truth is that thing that is happening to you right now, not that enhanced fantasy version you use to protect your vulnerabilities. People can't move forward in life because they hold too tightly to the past. We also get lost in concepts and beliefs that might have worked for our parents and friends but don't apply to us anymore; which can make it confusing when it comes to making decisions to improve our lives.

 

If you look closely at my first 30 to 35 years on earth you would have bet big bucks on a inept outcome. Bad student, bad athlete, no discipline, poor confidence, lousy work ethic, speech impediment, low self esteem and the biggest procrastinator on earth. What changed?

 

I began accepting reality. I stopped lying to myself and the people around me. I searched for second and third opinions. I stopped hanging around people with bad attitudes and no ambition. I stopped using the word "party" as a verb and grew up. I signed up for seminars and yoga retreats and saved up for ski camps, so that I could meet people who were curious, outside of my circle and who were kicking ass.

 

My persona to the world as a young man was just big talk and hyperbole because I didn't have the guts to get in the game and step up to the plate. It was a safe and easy way to exist but it made me sick. I slowly began to force myself to do things that scared the hell out of me. Every single experience built my confidence and improved my life, so I kept going no matter how many times I fell flat on my face.

 

If you want to believe in the truth then you need to follow some simple life altering steps. Exercise 5 to 6 days a week for the rest of your life. Eat whole foods more often than not, for the rest of your life. Allow your mind, body and spirit to heal with patience, curiosity and plenty of rock solid sleep. Figure out what you love and put as much time and energy as you can, into that. Then share what you've learned with people who ask for your help.

[Jake]

get in shape that pain will be gone.

 

dude, at the end of the day, it sounds like you're happy right where you are. and if that's the case, then that's great. i'm the type of person who wants to be the best version of myself i can be - but i know not everyone's as crazy as me. and more power to you if you really are happy.

 

i just don't wanna look back on my death bed and wish I'd done it differently ya know?

 

I think you're accepting a singular idea of what "best" is. I'm not going to say you're wrong, per se, because for instance I have the same hobby as you (improving our physiques, etc). Nonetheless, I think you need to realize that he isn't saying "I want to be less than the best." He is saying "my idea of 'best me' is different from yours and therefore some of the activities/goals you use to achieve your ideal person are not applicable to my conception of the 'best me.'" You're accepting a somewhat vague, unspoken, but non-compulsory notion of what the best way to be is. Since it is not compulsory, saint is not compelled to be exactly the way that social forces have constructed the ideal man.

 

Okay, enough homework while Soxtalking

[Jake]

The truth is that thing that is happening to you right now, not that enhanced fantasy version you use to protect your vulnerabilities. People can't move forward in life because they hold too tightly to the past. We also get lost in concepts and beliefs that might have worked for our parents and friends but don't apply to us anymore; which can make it confusing when it comes to making decisions to improve our lives. Great, so we're going to forget those old notions of how we're supposed to live for a more individualized, modern outlook. So progressive, Tony Horton!

 

If you look closely at my first 30 to 35 years on earth you would have bet big bucks on a inept outcome. Bad student, bad athlete, no discipline, poor confidence, lousy work ethic, speech impediment, low self esteem and the biggest procrastinator on earth. What changed?

 

I began accepting reality. I stopped lying to myself and the people around me. I searched for second and third opinions. I stopped hanging around people with bad attitudes and no ambition. I stopped using the word "party" as a verb and grew up. I signed up for seminars and yoga retreats and saved up for ski camps, so that I could meet people who were curious, outside of my circle and who were kicking ass.

 

My persona to the world as a young man was just big talk and hyperbole because I didn't have the guts to get in the game and step up to the plate. It was a safe and easy way to exist but it made me sick. I slowly began to force myself to do things that scared the hell out of me. Every single experience built my confidence and improved my life, so I kept going no matter how many times I fell flat on my face.

 

If you want to believe in the truth then you need to follow some simple life altering steps. Exercise 5 to 6 days a week for the rest of your life. Eat whole foods more often than not, for the rest of your life. Allow your mind, body and spirit to heal with patience, curiosity and plenty of rock solid sleep. Figure out what you love and put as much time and energy as you can, into that. Then share what you've learned with people who ask for your help. What did you do Tony?!?! You just did the thing you said we should stop doing. You literally spent the article shoving very old school ideas about what a productive lifestyle should be like down my throat.

 

Edited October 19, 2012 by Jake

[2nd_city_saint787]

get in shape that pain will be gone.

 

dude, at the end of the day, it sounds like you're happy right where you are. and if that's the case, then that's great. i'm the type of person who wants to be the best version of myself i can be - but i know not everyone's as crazy as me. and more power to you if you really are happy.

 

i just don't wanna look back on my death bed and wish I'd done it differently ya know?

 

I've been big all my life, these aches and pains popped up when I started playing rugby. I've been away from the game for a year and a half and it's still there.

 

I'm happy with the track I'm on, I paid money for certification to become a security guard in IL so the next step is to get a job in that field right? I'm not saying thats what I'll be forever but for right now thats the path I'm taking.

 

After I take care of all the debt I'm in I may look into college, or saving up for a food truck and maybe later a restaurant.

 

 

[greg775]

I don't plan on having kids, or getting into any kind of serious relationship any time soon so I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. I want me a simple woman, if we have a roof of our own over our head and each other then I'm happy, and I she would be to.

 

Some do, my last security gig you got benefits after a year of service.

 

There's a thing called a free clinic if something serious happens before I get benefits. I played rugby for 2 years with no insurance. I'm fearless lol jkjk

 

 

 

 

If I'm gonna do anything that involves me going to college it's going to be for journalism...Though it that wouldn't be a bad idea seeing as I live a block away from a hospital, it'd be nice to get in there with gas prices the way they are.

 

Your care free attitude can be commendable. I wish I wasn't so worried about getting laid off and losing health care, etc. For some reason as you age, sometimes attitudes change. I used to be like you.

[2nd_city_saint787]

 

I think you're accepting a singular idea of what "best" is. I'm not going to say you're wrong, per se, because for instance I have the same hobby as you (improving our physiques, etc). Nonetheless, I think you need to realize that he isn't saying "I want to be less than the best." He is saying "my idea of 'best me' is different from yours and therefore some of the activities/goals you use to achieve your ideal person are not applicable to my conception of the 'best me.'" You're accepting a somewhat vague, unspoken, but non-compulsory notion of what the best way to be is. Since it is not compulsory, saint is not compelled to be exactly the way that social forces have constructed the ideal man.

 

Okay, enough homework while Soxtalking

 

Yet again, excellent post

 

There are 9 million people in the US that are unemployed and at least another couple million who are making less than 10 dollars an hour who would be ecstatic to make 11 dollars an hour.

 

as I've said countless times for me money doesn't equal happiness. Lol honestly to me 11 dollars an hour is a lot of money. Best time of my life I was making 8 an hour, working less than 40 hours a week and I had 460 dollars in bills. I had like 50 bucks a week spending money and that was all I needed to be happy.

 

I wouldn't know what to do with myself making 23 an hour, I suppose it'd be cool. I could travel or something

[2nd_city_saint787]

Your care free attitude can be commendable. I wish I wasn't so worried about getting laid off and losing health care, etc. For some reason as you age, sometimes attitudes change. I used to be like you.

 

I made "s*** Happens" T-Shirts my senior year in printing and graphic arts class, 6 years later I still live by those 2 words.

 

 

[witesoxfan]

zOMG WEED IS BETTER THAN ALCOHOL CUZ OF THIS

 

I happen to agree with these points, but they need to be Filibuster'd.

 

If not, you fear the rath of drunken, conservative wite yelling at you about legal and not legal (ie ILLEGAL) and then bad things happen.

 

Oh, and yes, marijuana is a gateway drug...from a dealing standpoint. If you have a good standard dealer, than f***ing good for you. In the meantime, it's still illegal, and you are lucky this site doesnt report (and will never report) such acts.

 

Yeah.

 

You can PM me if you want the reason for my bias, but otherwise, f*** off with the weed smoking talk. Seriously.

 

----

 

Yeah, f*** weed

 

 

[RockRaines]

LOL, I'll never stop speaking my opinion on weed. If we reversed marijuana with alcohol in our society there would be a ton less crime, agression and death. If we legalized it in parallel our national and local deficit would be cut by a large margin. It's less dangerous and less addictive than nicotine and alcohol and those are actually the TRUE gateway drugs from an addiction/breaking the law standpoint for teens.

 

Reporting use of marijuana in chicago would get you a 250 dollar ticket. Most of the time the police just let you go.

Edited October 19, 2012 by RockRaines

[BigSqwert]

So glad that legalization is on the ballot here in Washington. The polls are looking good too.

Edited October 19, 2012 by BigSqwert

[RockRaines]

So glad that legalization is on the ballot here in Washington. The polls are looking good too.

Continuing this off topic discussion: I'm on a 60 day challenge right now with a friend. I am going to abstain from alcohol and he's going to stop smoking pot and we are going to come back and weigh ourselves to see which one really had a negative effect on our health. Obviously blood tests etc would be better but for now this is the bet. The hard part isnt not binge drinking, but not being able to have that casual one or two beers after work.

[Y2HH]

Continuing this off topic discussion: I'm on a 60 day challenge right now with a friend. I am going to abstain from alcohol and he's going to stop smoking pot and we are going to come back and weigh ourselves to see which one really had a negative effect on our health. Obviously blood tests etc would be better but for now this is the bet. The hard part isnt not binge drinking, but not being able to have that casual one or two beers after work.

 

These are hard experiments to perform outside of a very controlled environment.

 

The only way you'd be able to tell if it did anything is if you don't change anything outside of stopping these things. You have to do everything else the exact same, such as eating, etc. Most likely, for both of you, the negative health effects will come from the environments you find yourselves in when doing those things (drinkers/weed smokers tend to eat more when they do those things). You also have to avoid offsetting these habits with something else. For example, if you stop drinking, but now you spend that extra time working out...the results may not be because you stopped drinking, but because you're working out more than usual.

 

If you are going strictly by weight loss as the decider of this working or not, it will obviously work for both of you, as you will no longer be in those environments which tend to lead to eating more than normal.

[RockRaines]

These are hard experiments to perform outside of a very controlled environment.

 

The only way you'd be able to tell if it did anything is if you don't change anything outside of stopping these things. You have to do everything else the exact same, such as eating, etc. Most likely, for both of you, the negative health effects will come from the environments you find yourselves in when doing those things (drinkers/weed smokers tend to eat more when they do those things). You also have to avoid offsetting these habits with something else. For example, if you stop drinking, but now you spend that extra time working out...the results may not be because you stopped drinking, but because you're working out more than usual.

 

If you are going strictly by weight loss as the decider of this working or not, it will obviously work for both of you, as you will no longer be in those environments which tend to lead to eating more than normal.

Yeah, its not that scientific. Weight loss, overall productivity etc. Like most of the people on here, when we drink we go all out and are worthless the next day so we are counting negative points for laying in bed past noon/missing workouts etc. Its very loose, but a fun challenge nonetheless.

 

 

[Y2HH]

Yeah, its not that scientific. Weight loss, overall productivity etc. Like most of the people on here, when we drink we go all out and are worthless the next day so we are counting negative points for laying in bed past noon/missing workouts etc. Its very loose, but a fun challenge nonetheless.

 

Hahah, yes, I remember those types of days...

 

Since turning 35 (now 37), I don't drink like that anymore. I've learned how to turn it into a very casual 'hold the line' without getting drunk experience these days. I can have a few drinks and stop and that's it. Back in the day I never stopped ... and paid the next day.

 

Remember your early 20's? When you could do that and there was no pay back the next day regardless? heh