Jump to content

Relationship Advice Thread


witesoxfan

Recommended Posts

QUOTE (pettie4sox @ Dec 12, 2013 -> 08:11 AM)
Seriously? My biggest concern would be the fall out. A lot of friends and family have met this girl and I the same of hers. To break it off over something like this, I'm sure I'd be judged to kingdom come (from my family too).

 

I don't want to force her but I also feel myself not being attracted to her anymore.

 

I probably just need to man up and get it over with but I just feel like I would be a s***ty person for doing this.

Well, do you want to feel this way for the rest of your life with her? Do you want to be married to a person for 40 years that you are not attracted to?

 

It's not like you have to explain this is the reason...you can just say "our interests were diverging, we just didn't have much in common anymore, etc."

 

I know it's not easy, and I am not by any means telling you to break up with her, but if you aren't attracted to her anymore, and you feel like you're falling out of love or whatever, that is something you really need to consider fixing, one way or another.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

QUOTE (iamshack @ Dec 12, 2013 -> 09:45 AM)
I dunno about this, Wite...I agree that we might all like our significant others to value their health and appearance, but I don't know if "the least" they could do is to accompany us to the gym a few times a week. What if she gardened a lot in the interest of growing produce to contribute to a healthy diet...would it be "the least" he could do to be out there with her three times a week planting tomatoes? I know I'd be like, yeah, you have fun with that Honey :)

 

That's true, but doing something at least to show support. You get my drift. So long as she's not eating Taco Bell and McDonalds in front of him and gloating about it.

 

QUOTE (pettie4sox @ Dec 12, 2013 -> 10:11 AM)
Seriously? My biggest concern would be the fall out. A lot of friends and family have met this girl and I the same of hers. To break it off over something like this, I'm sure I'd be judged to kingdom come (from my family too).

 

I don't want to force her but I also feel myself not being attracted to her anymore.

 

I probably just need to man up and get it over with but I just feel like I would be a s***ty person for doing this.

 

My ex met my extended family and they all loved her, and I met her grandma and obviously her parents and siblings and they all liked me quite a bit, and we had a falling out because I was nodding off in a theatre literature class (incredibly far removed from my minor study in English because we talked so much more about the dramatic effects of these plays rather than the actual literature itself) because I was taking 18 credits, in two on campus organizations (with a leadership role in 1 of them), working part-time, meeting with multiple groups for class projects throughout the week, and figuring out plans of what do to after graduation, all the while taking at least an hour or 2 out of my day to catch up with her (as she had graduated and moved to Seattle in September of that year). Every day I was generally up and busy from either 7:30 or 9:30 (depending on the day) until 1 or 2 AM every day. Getting more than 6 hours a sleep per day was a challenge, so yes, I was tired and bored in a class where all we did was take notes and talk about things I was not particularly interested in. We'd had other problems before that too, but that was the straw that broke the camel's back.

 

Small things matter.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

QUOTE (pettie4sox @ Dec 12, 2013 -> 10:11 AM)
Seriously? My biggest concern would be the fall out. A lot of friends and family have met this girl and I the same of hers. To break it off over something like this, I'm sure I'd be judged to kingdom come (from my family too).

 

I don't want to force her but I also feel myself not being attracted to her anymore.

 

I probably just need to man up and get it over with but I just feel like I would be a s***ty person for doing this.

Ive broken up with girls ive lived with. At the end of the day you cant stay with someone just because of the "fall out" or because other people like her. It's your life. If you arent attracted to her anymore, time to bail.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

QUOTE (pettie4sox @ Dec 12, 2013 -> 10:11 AM)
Seriously? My biggest concern would be the fall out. A lot of friends and family have met this girl and I the same of hers. To break it off over something like this, I'm sure I'd be judged to kingdom come (from my family too).

 

I don't want to force her but I also feel myself not being attracted to her anymore.

 

I probably just need to man up and get it over with but I just feel like I would be a s***ty person for doing this.

 

I dated a girl for almost 5 years, lived with her for almost 2. Sometimes things end. Years later Im lucky that it happened, because I could be married with kids right now.

 

You do what makes you happy, because if you dont, everyone will be miserable.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I know you guys are all right about this. It's just hard because I just know my image will be tainted. I really wish she would just wake the f*** up (I have been transparent about this numerous times). I think I'm just going to have to talk to her again about this and if things get dicey, I might just end it.

 

I am also uneasy because since she lives with her parents, that really limits the amount of time we can see each other. I have been to her parents place several times but I can't really sleep over there. She's so oblivious to how awkward it is too. So it feels like my relationship is one giant routine.

 

Weird I know.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

QUOTE (pettie4sox @ Dec 12, 2013 -> 10:59 AM)
I know you guys are all right about this. It's just hard because I just know my image will be tainted. I really wish she would just wake the f*** up (I have been transparent about this numerous times). I think I'm just going to have to talk to her again about this and if things get dicey, I might just end it.

 

I am also uneasy because since she lives with her parents, that really limits the amount of time we can see each other. I have been to her parents place several times but I can't really sleep over there. She's so oblivious to how awkward it is too. So it feels like my relationship is one giant routine.

 

Weird I know.

Frankly I have more respect for guys that know its over and do it up front and honest than ones that wait, take it or cheat. My ex's family probably isnt fond of me but my entire family and friends circle love the direction I went.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

QUOTE (pettie4sox @ Dec 12, 2013 -> 10:50 AM)
No we don't. She lives with her parents. We have plans to move in together next year.

 

Take a break. 1 week, 2 week, whatever, go without contact for a period of time and see how you feel afterwards (aside from the intial blow of not being with her). Even just that amount of time will give you an idea as to what the right decision is. Sometimes people are the way they are because they lack the motivation. I'm sure she still cares a great deal about you, but maybe the thought of losing you will trigger the idea that maybe she should do something more to support you trying to lose weight and look good. Maybe she starts preparing meals or buying and eating more nutritiously or going to the gym with you now and then, and in turn maybe she finds that she really likes it. You might find some things you can change too.

 

And then maybe not, and you find that being without her is better and more conducive to improving yourself.

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

QUOTE (witesoxfan @ Dec 12, 2013 -> 11:01 AM)
Take a break. 1 week, 2 week, whatever, go without contact for a period of time and see how you feel afterwards (aside from the intial blow of not being with her). Even just that amount of time will give you an idea as to what the right decision is. Sometimes people are the way they are because they lack the motivation. I'm sure she still cares a great deal about you, but maybe the thought of losing you will trigger the idea that maybe she should do something more to support you trying to lose weight and look good. Maybe she starts preparing meals or buying and eating more nutritiously or going to the gym with you now and then, and in turn maybe she finds that she really likes it. You might find some things you can change too.

 

And then maybe not, and you find that being without her is better and more conducive to improving yourself.

Timing is bad though, holidays are the WORST time to do this.

 

Then again, I dumped a girl on her birthday once....

Link to comment
Share on other sites

QUOTE (witesoxfan @ Dec 12, 2013 -> 11:01 AM)
Take a break. 1 week, 2 week, whatever, go without contact for a period of time and see how you feel afterwards (aside from the intial blow of not being with her). Even just that amount of time will give you an idea as to what the right decision is. Sometimes people are the way they are because they lack the motivation. I'm sure she still cares a great deal about you, but maybe the thought of losing you will trigger the idea that maybe she should do something more to support you trying to lose weight and look good. Maybe she starts preparing meals or buying and eating more nutritiously or going to the gym with you now and then, and in turn maybe she finds that she really likes it. You might find some things you can change too.

 

And then maybe not, and you find that being without her is better and more conducive to improving yourself.

 

She'll sniff this out and threaten me for sure. If I breath a word of "break" she'll come back with it's over or something like that. She's super Disney about relationships.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

QUOTE (pettie4sox @ Dec 12, 2013 -> 11:10 AM)
She'll sniff this out and threaten me for sure. If I breath a word of "break" she'll come back with it's over or something like that. She's super Disney about relationships.

 

Then let it be over. Sounds like a bit of a drama queen.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

QUOTE (RockRaines @ Dec 12, 2013 -> 11:24 AM)
23-24 I think. The back story is I thought we'd already broken up and then she showed up to my house to take me to her bday party and I had to dump her again.

 

I think you're cleared there. LMAO.

 

Shades of Parks and Rec.

 

He broke up with me so nicely that I didn't think he actually was.

Edited by pettie4sox
Link to comment
Share on other sites

QUOTE (pettie4sox @ Dec 12, 2013 -> 11:28 AM)
I think you're cleared there. LMAO.

 

Shades of Parks and Rec.

 

He broke up with me so nicely that I didn't think he actually was.

I was like, what are you doing here? "Taking you to my party." Uh.

 

She also bought tickets to that weekend's Cubs/Sox game at the Cell (shes a cubs fan) and she sat in her seat a section above us and stared down the whole time.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

QUOTE (RockRaines @ Dec 12, 2013 -> 12:21 PM)
I was like, what are you doing here? "Taking you to my party." Uh.

 

She also bought tickets to that weekend's Cubs/Sox game at the Cell (shes a cubs fan) and she sat in her seat a section above us and stared down the whole time.

 

Very creepy. I would have feared for flying objects being thrown in my general direction lmao.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

QUOTE (pettie4sox @ Dec 12, 2013 -> 12:23 PM)
Very creepy. I would have feared for flying objects being thrown in my general direction lmao.

Well, she'd bought me an 83 fisk jersey for my bday a few months earlier and I wore it, so Im sure I wasnt being the most sensitive person.

Edited by RockRaines
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...