BrenBlackwood Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 Teacher: Billy why are you crying and why did you bring your cat to school? Billy: Because I heard my dad tell my mom "When Billy leaves to school I'm gonna beat that p**** up!" Who comes up with this stuff?!?! LMFAO!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shipps Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 There is 3 guys being chased by the police. One Black guy,one Mexican guy, and a Polish guy. They run into the alley way and hide in three different sacks. The cops find the sack that the black guy is in and they kick it. The black guy says "meow meow...meow". So the police think oh its just some cats. They go to the next sack with the Mexican guy in it and kick it. The Mexican guy says "ruff...ruff" and the police think oh thats just a sack of puppies barking. The they get to the third sack and kick it and the polish guy says "POTATOES....POTATOES....POTATOES...". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrenBlackwood Posted July 30, 2010 Author Share Posted July 30, 2010 QUOTE (IceCreamPants @ Jul 30, 2010 -> 01:29 PM) There is 3 guys being chased by the police. One Black guy,one Mexican guy, and a Polish guy. They run into the alley way and hide in three different sacks. The cops find the sack that the black guy is in and they kick it. The black guy says "meow meow...meow". So the police think oh its just some cats. They go to the next sack with the Mexican guy in it and kick it. The Mexican guy says "ruff...ruff" and the police think oh thats just a sack of puppies barking. The they get to the third sack and kick it and the polish guy says "POTATOES....POTATOES....POTATOES...". AAAHAHAHA that is soo funny!! freaking polocks ..gotta love em'! lmfao Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EvilJester99 Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 A horse walks into a bar...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EvilJester99 Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 A nun gets on a bus and sits behind the driver. She says to the bus driver she needs someone to talk to. She lives in a convent and wants to experience sex before she dies. The bus driver agrees but the nun explains she can't have sex with a married man because it would be a sin. The bus driver says no problem, he's not married.. The nun says she also has to die a virgin, so she has to take it in the ass. The bus driver agrees again and being the only two people on the bus they go in the back and take care of business. When they were done and he had resumed driving the bus driver said, Sister, I have a confession to make, I'm married and have three kid's." The nun replied, "That's O.K. I have a confession too. My name is Bruce and I'm on my way to a costume party. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HuskyCaucasian Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 QUOTE (EvilJester99 @ Jul 30, 2010 -> 04:08 PM) A nun gets on a bus and sits behind the driver. She says to the bus driver she needs someone to talk to. She lives in a convent and wants to experience sex before she dies. The bus driver agrees but the nun explains she can't have sex with a married man because it would be a sin. The bus driver says no problem, he's not married.. The nun says she also has to die a virgin, so she has to take it in the ass. The bus driver agrees again and being the only two people on the bus they go in the back and take care of business. When they were done and he had resumed driving the bus driver said, Sister, I have a confession to make, I'm married and have three kid's." The nun replied, "That's O.K. I have a confession too. My name is Bruce and I'm on my way to a costume party. :lolhitting Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rooftop Shots Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 I am Polish, so I can tell this joke! A factory full of Polish guys decide to hire a new guy. On the new guy's first day, he gets a big extension ladder, climbs up it and yells out at the top of his lungs, "I'M A LIGHT! I'M A LIGHT! The foreman sees him, and orders him to get down. As soon as the foreman leaves, the guy goes immediately goes back up the ladder and yells out again, "I'M A LIGHT. I'M A LIGHT. The foreman sees him, orders him down and says that if he goes back up there again that he is fired! As soon as the foreman leaves, back up ladder the guy goes yelling out once again I'M A LIGHT! I'M A LIGHT! The foreman sees him and immediately fires him. As he is walking out the door, all of the other Polish guys walk out with him and quit! When the foreman asked one of them, "Why are all of you quitting?" The reply! "We can't work in a place with no lights!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrimsonWeltall Posted July 30, 2010 Share Posted July 30, 2010 Two fish are in a tank. One says to the other "Do you know how to drive this thing?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Critic Posted July 31, 2010 Share Posted July 31, 2010 What did Jesus say to the Cubs? "Don't do anything til I get back!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fathom Posted July 31, 2010 Share Posted July 31, 2010 (edited) Why do pedophiles not get along well with people? They struggle to fit in. Edited July 31, 2010 by fathom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrenBlackwood Posted July 31, 2010 Author Share Posted July 31, 2010 QUOTE (fathom @ Jul 30, 2010 -> 08:30 PM) Why do pedophiles not get along well with people? They struggle to fit in. EWWW freaking disgusting!! As a mother of 3, I am very disturbed by this joke! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kapkomet Posted July 31, 2010 Share Posted July 31, 2010 QUOTE (fathom @ Jul 30, 2010 -> 10:30 PM) Why do pedophiles not get along well with people? They struggle to fit in. You should get banned just for this joke, and I'm not sure I'm kidding. That's more then bad, it's wrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MattZakrowski Posted July 31, 2010 Share Posted July 31, 2010 QUOTE (fathom @ Jul 30, 2010 -> 11:30 PM) Why do pedophiles not get along well with people? They struggle to fit in. Gamebreaker. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milkman delivers Posted July 31, 2010 Share Posted July 31, 2010 It's a thread for bad jokes. No reason to even talk about banning. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fathom Posted July 31, 2010 Share Posted July 31, 2010 (edited) QUOTE (kapkomet @ Jul 31, 2010 -> 04:45 AM) You should get banned just for this joke, and I'm not sure I'm kidding. That's more then bad, it's wrong. Are you kidding me? It's a thread for tasteless jokes. In no way was I trying to offend anyone. Edited July 31, 2010 by fathom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigSqwert Posted July 31, 2010 Share Posted July 31, 2010 (edited) List of bad jokes from Louis CK. Edited July 31, 2010 by BigSqwert Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fathom Posted July 31, 2010 Share Posted July 31, 2010 I always enjoyed this one: What's Ron Santo's favorite place to eat? IHOP Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kapkomet Posted July 31, 2010 Share Posted July 31, 2010 QUOTE (Milkman delivers @ Jul 31, 2010 -> 06:02 AM) It's a thread for bad jokes. No reason to even talk about banning. Okay there's bad and there's just wrong. That one crossed a line. But that's my opinion. It's not like I'm going to do anything about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrenBlackwood Posted July 31, 2010 Author Share Posted July 31, 2010 yeah ...I know a few that I would never post on here. I feel guilty just repeating them!! haha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
whitesoxfan101 Posted July 31, 2010 Share Posted July 31, 2010 Yeah I know some really bad ones too, but don't want to get banned. Somebody should be a disclaimer warning on the title or something and then we can get to the really bad ones. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DukeNukeEm Posted July 31, 2010 Share Posted July 31, 2010 How do you sink a Polish battleship? Put it in water. Hear about the Polish admiral who wanted to be buried at sea? Yeah, 8 sailors died digging his grave. Hear about how Russia made the world's largest zoo? They put a 50 foot fence around Poland. Why did all the Poles leave Mt. Prospect? They thought it would erupt. How do you tell who the groom is at a Polish wedding? He's the one wearing a clean bowling shirt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HuskyCaucasian Posted July 31, 2010 Share Posted July 31, 2010 Two men walk into a bar... the third one ducks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JPN366 Posted July 31, 2010 Share Posted July 31, 2010 Not really a joke, but I saw a kid wearing a Nike shirt that said "I'm going to be on a cereal box one day" and the first thought that popped into my head was only is he goes missing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
knightni Posted July 31, 2010 Share Posted July 31, 2010 One day a guy was out in the woods taking a pee, when suddenly a rattlesnake came out of the bushes and bit him on his dick. He gave a loud yell, and his friend came running to his side. "What has happened?" "A snake bit me on my dick, you're going to have to go find a doctor and ask what to do." The friend leaves the guy to find help. Soon he came upon a town, and found the local doctor. "Help! my friend has been bitten by a rattlesnake! What should I do?" The doctor replied: "Well, you will have to suck the poison from the wound, then bandage it up." "Thank you doctor!" the friend replied while running back out the door. He ran for a while until he found his friend who was bitten, lying on the ground. "Well, what did he say?" asked the victim. His friend looked at the wound, and then looked at him and said, "He said you're gonna die." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrenBlackwood Posted August 1, 2010 Author Share Posted August 1, 2010 QUOTE (knightni @ Jul 31, 2010 -> 03:33 PM) One day a guy was out in the woods taking a pee, when suddenly a rattlesnake came out of the bushes and bit him on his dick. He gave a loud yell, and his friend came running to his side. "What has happened?" "A snake bit me on my dick, you're going to have to go find a doctor and ask what to do." The friend leaves the guy to find help. Soon he came upon a town, and found the local doctor. "Help! my friend has been bitten by a rattlesnake! What should I do?" The doctor replied: "Well, you will have to suck the poison from the wound, then bandage it up." "Thank you doctor!" the friend replied while running back out the door. He ran for a while until he found his friend who was bitten, lying on the ground. "Well, what did he say?" asked the victim. His friend looked at the wound, and then looked at him and said, "He said you're gonna die." Awww ..how sad. I thought that's what friends were for! haha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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