Texsox Posted November 28, 2010 Share Posted November 28, 2010 Dear Can't Count to Ten Chick, It is called an EXPRESS LANE because some people are standing here with less than ten items. You have 16 items. The world doesn't revolve around you. Get in a regular line. Signed, Can Count to Ten Guy Dear Guy With Pick Up Ballz Hanging, You look like an obnoxious ass. The only woman on your arm will be a tattoo. Grow up. Signed, Not Laughing Your Turn . . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FlaSoxxJim Posted November 28, 2010 Share Posted November 28, 2010 (edited) Dear Hot Camper Woman the other night who decided to use the light of a lantern to silhouette herself while changing clothes in her tent with the whole rest of the campground outside to watch, Thanks! Edited November 28, 2010 by FlaSoxxJim Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southsider2k5 Posted November 28, 2010 Share Posted November 28, 2010 QUOTE (FlaSoxxJim @ Nov 28, 2010 -> 11:10 AM) Dear Hot Camper Woman he other night who decided to use the light of a lantern to silhouette herself while changing clothes in her tent with the whole rest of the campground outside to watch, Thanks! Signed The Kleenex Corporation Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JPN366 Posted November 28, 2010 Share Posted November 28, 2010 Dear Guy who sits in his car all the time in his drive way who lives down the block from me, Why? JPN Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigSqwert Posted November 29, 2010 Share Posted November 29, 2010 Dear sopping wet dudes in the gym locker room, Please use one of the complimentary towels provided to dry off after showering. Heck, take multiple complimentary towels if you have to. I don't like changing at a locker while standing in a puddle of your drippings, getting my socks all wet. Sincerely, Guy who has tact Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flippedoutpunk Posted November 29, 2010 Share Posted November 29, 2010 Dear Girl complaining about chickpeas in her salad from Potbelly's, I mean seriously do you HAVE to hold up the line and cry to the manager over CHICKPEAS? What kind of sheltered life were you brought up in? I bet your parents told you that you didnt have to eat your vegetables if you didnt want to, or that its fine to dump the food you dont want in the garbage because homeless and starving people dont exist in your world aka disneyland... And why get a salad from a place called potbelly's SANDWHICHworks? I'd really like to eat my biggie italian sammich with all the trimmings and chug on my mr. pibb but you are keeping me from achieving this amazingly delicious goal. I'd understand if you were allergic but clearly your beef was with you just not liking chickpeas. I feel bad for any man/woman you end up marrying because i can imagine that chickpeas arent the only thing you would stop the world for. I hope you enjoyed your replacement salad and had a fine bike ride back to wicker park.... Sincerely, Hungry man that has to move into his new apartment by tonight.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iwritecode Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 Dear idiot driving 5MPH under the speed limit in the left lane, MOVE THE HELL OVER! Sincerely, the 20 drivers that were forced to pass you on the right. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HuskyCaucasian Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 QUOTE (FlaSoxxJim @ Nov 28, 2010 -> 11:10 AM) Dear Hot Camper Woman the other night who decided to use the light of a lantern to silhouette herself while changing clothes in her tent with the whole rest of the campground outside to watch, Thanks! :headbang Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CrimsonWeltall Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 QUOTE (Iwritecode @ Nov 30, 2010 -> 03:34 PM) Dear idiot driving 5MPH under the speed limit in the left lane, MOVE THE HELL OVER! Sincerely, the 20 drivers that were forced to pass you on the right. Dear Angry Driver Behind Me, I cannot move over because the other lane also contains a car going 5mph under the speed limit. Sincerely, Slow North Carolina Driver Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChiSox_Sonix Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 QUOTE (Iwritecode @ Nov 30, 2010 -> 10:34 AM) Dear idiot driving 5MPH under the speed limit in the left lane, MOVE THE HELL OVER! Sincerely, the 20 drivers that were forced to pass you on the right. *Likes* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hogan873 Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 Dear Driver Tailgating Me When The Traffic Ahead of Me Is Keeping Me From Going Any Faster, Go f*** yourself. Sincerely, Driver About to Give You a Face-full of Brake Light Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChiSox_Sonix Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 Dear Driver Who Speeds Up When I Try To Pass And Slows When Down When I Back Off, Stop trying to tandem drive with me and pick one damned speed. Sincerely, Cruise Control's Biggest Fan Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dasox24 Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 QUOTE (ChiSox_Sonix @ Nov 30, 2010 -> 12:48 PM) Dear Driver Who Speeds Up When I Try To Pass And Slows When Down When I Back Off, Stop trying to tandem drive with me and pick one damned speed. Sincerely, Cruise Control's Biggest Fan Now this I like. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milkman delivers Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 (edited) Dear New Half-Italian, Half-Mexican Girl In The Office With The Amazing Posterior, Please remove your clothing. Regards, Every male in the office Edited November 30, 2010 by Milkman delivers Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balta1701 Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 Dear Milkman Delivers's boss... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Milkman delivers Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 QUOTE (Balta1701 @ Nov 30, 2010 -> 01:34 PM) Dear Milkman Delivers's boss... Dear Balta, Trust me, it is not easy to look away from this girl when her back is turned to you. Sincerely, Milk Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrenBlackwood Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 Dear boys of Soxtalk, Thank you so very much for providing me with this EXTREMELY entertaining thread and tons of laughter! When I am sitting at home, bored out of my mind with nothing to do while the washing machine is doing my laundry and the dishwasher is doing my dishes, I always come here first! Always, Laughing My Ass Off While I'm here ... Dear tweaker people down the road, If you could please stop beating and banging on things at 3 in the morning, that would be splendid! I'm sure your motorized wheel chair and busted up lawn mower will still be there tomorrow ..&& I'm thinking it's probably about time for a new mode of transportation anyway. Thank You, Girl who wishes the D.A.R.E. program would have tried harder with you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve9347 Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 Dear Holiday-hired Checker-outer, It's not unfair that you have to work. There are many folks out there who would love to have your temp job at [insert department store]. Don't act like I'm causing you problems by trying to buy a present for my father who actually works his ass off for a living. Signed, We've all been there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Beast Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 Dear Restricted Calls at Midnight, I'm changing my number when my phone contract is up in May. Leave me alone or I will get a court document to figure out who you are and make a case out of this. Best, -R P.S. I love that I can block all incoming calls not on my contact list, so have fun figuring that one out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasonxctf Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 Dear Middle-Aged Women Entering the Expressway Just a reminder that we are entering traffic moving at a minimum of 55mph. It may be wise, to increase your speed on the on-ramp to an amount greater than 32mph so we don't get in an accident. Sincerely Guy Trying to Drive Home on I88 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasonxctf Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 And I'll make one more, since this is a great thread. Dear Retailers in General, If you haven't noticed, we are dealing with a national unemployment rate of 9.5%. That being said, it's time to upgrade your workforce to the best available. God knows there are plenty of available bodies to fill positions. Therefore, if your employee has no idea of what's going on, or is moving at a snails pace, maybe it's time to upgrade. Sincerely Annoyed Shopper Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleHurt05 Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 Dear Chicago Blackhawks, Win some games at home please! Sincerely, Your loyal season ticket holders Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iwritecode Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 Dear Illinois winters, I hate you and I would leave you if I could. Sincerely, Counting the days until spring. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jasonxctf Posted November 30, 2010 Share Posted November 30, 2010 Dear old man at the gym, No one, wants to see your balls. If you haven't noticed, everyone else in the locker room walks around with a towel on, except you. There is no need for you to saddle up to the locker next to mine with your sh*t flapping in the breeze while I try get dressed. In addition, there's no need for you to weigh yourself completely nude on the community scale. It's not very hygenic. Sincerely Disgusted ex-athlete Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nyx81 Posted December 1, 2010 Share Posted December 1, 2010 To the people next door, Your drunked and undoubtably drug laced parties (Yeah, I notice that Escalade there every week) that start at midnight through 5am in the morning on Tuesday night do go noticed. Keep your w****s from yelling out WOOO! Listen to MEEE! 20 feet from my bedroom window. You should also get rid of that rusted POS iroc thats been sitting in your driveway for 3 years, no ones gonna buy it. If you haven't noticed, the tires are flat now. Your garage with all the windows boarded up and a stack chimney coming out the top reminds me of Breaking Bad. Shut your F****** DOG UP!!! Just because you don't want to listen to it, doesn't mean we have to. Get a collar or train it. Signed, I hate you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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