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i am drunk


Heads22

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I went to a wedding last night and night and I have a portable breathalyzer that I like to check in with after a night out. There were bottles of Tangueray Vodka on every table and an open bar. I blew .03 upon my return home. Today, no wedding and only a bottle of wine in the house. Ed Farmer: "Light it up"!

 

I also might buy a ukulele.

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QUOTE (Swingandalongonetoleft @ Jul 10, 2011 -> 09:59 PM)
I went to a wedding last night and night and I have a portable breathalyzer that I like to check in with after a night out. There were bottles of Tangueray Vodka on every table and an open bar. I blew .03 upon my return home. Today, no wedding and only a bottle of wine in the house. Ed Farmer: "Light it up"!

 

I also might buy a ukulele.

That's not high...? Right when you got home?

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One of those "nights" for a typical guy. Seems like every girl you talk to.. you get shot down. Rarely it happens to me.. but I guess thats karma for teasing my buddy last week when he was getting shot down numerous times.

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QUOTE (Heads22 @ Jul 18, 2011 -> 10:16 PM)
I think I violated any number of laws Saturday night, including vandalism and public urination.

I talked to a police officer in downtown St. Louis the night of Mardi Gras after she saw me pee on a car and somehow got out of any trouble. I was proud.

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I accidentally sent my gf this message not too long ago . . .

 

“What time do you get off lunch tomorrow?”

 

“You already know I get off at 11:30 . . . who was that message meant towards to?”

 

Me: “You I was just making sure.”

 

Next thing you know the FB status is “COMPLICATED.”

 

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