Texsox Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 Currently: Teach kids, not subjects All time: When elephants fight, it is the grass that gets trampled Bonus: When the student is ready, the teacher appears. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rowand44 Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 "Play some f***in Journey!" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southsider2k5 Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 Those who do not learn from their history, are doomed to repeat it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 "The safe route will ultimately lead to a mediocre result." - Kenny Williams Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthSideSox72 Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 Instead of 1, I'll go with 25. Love this list. Dave Barry's 25 things I have learned in 50 years... The badness of a movie is directly proportional to the number of helicopters in it. -- Dave Berry, "25 Things I Have Learned in 50 Years" You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe Daylight Saving Time. -- Dave Berry, "25 Things I Have Learned in 50 Years" People who feel the need to tell you that they have an excellent sense of humor are telling you that they have no sense of humor. -- Dave Berry, "25 Things I Have Learned in 50 Years" The most valuable function performed by the federal government is entertainment. -- Dave Berry, "25 Things I Have Learned in 50 Years" You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment. -- Dave Berry, "25 Things I Have Learned in 50 Years" A penny saved is worthless. -- Dave Berry, "25 Things I Have Learned in 50 Years" They can hold all the peace talks they want, but there will never be peace in the Middle East. Billions of years from now, when Earth is hurtling toward the Sun and there is nothing left alive on the planet except a few microorganisms, the microorganisms living in the Middle East will be bitter enemies. -- Dave Berry, "25 Things I Have Learned in 50 Years" The most powerful force in the universe is: gossip. -- Dave Berry, "25 Things I Have Learned in 50 Years" The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers. -- Dave Berry, "25 Things I Have Learned in 50 Years" There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is: age 11. -- Dave Berry, "25 Things I Have Learned in 50 Years" There is a very fine line between 'hobby' and 'mental illness.' -- Dave Berry, "25 Things I Have Learned in 50 Years" People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. -- Dave Berry, "25 Things I Have Learned in 50 Years" Nobody is normal. -- Dave Berry, "25 Things I Have Learned in 50 Years" If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be: meetings. -- Dave Berry, "25 Things I Have Learned in 50 Years" The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them. -- Dave Berry, "25 Things I Have Learned in 50 Years" If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its glories, and He decides to deliver a message to humanity, He will not use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle. -- Dave Berry, "25 Things I Have Learned in 50 Years" You should not confuse your career with your life. -- Dave Berry, "25 Things I Have Learned in 50 Years" A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is not a nice person. -- Dave Berry, "25 Things I Have Learned in 50 Years" No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously. -- Dave Berry, "25 Things I Have Learned in 50 Years" When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy. -- Dave Berry, "25 Things I Have Learned in 50 Years" Your friends love you anyway. -- Dave Berry, "25 Things I Have Learned in 50 Years" Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. -- Dave Berry, "25 Things I Have Learned in 50 Years" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ptatc Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 The two best sports ones are: Steve Kerr: I've torn my ACL and will miss the season Reporter: Doctors say that you only regain 80% of your speed after this surgery. Are you worried? Steve Kerr: 80% of slow is still slow. Walter Payton and Matt Suhey after a camping trip. Reporter: What would the two of you have done if attacked by a bear. Payton: Start running. Suhey: You can't out run a bear. Payton: I don't have to. I just have to out run you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
witesoxfan Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it's the only thing that ever has." - Margaret Mead "In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act." - George Orwell "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy." - Benjamin Franklin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maggsmaggs Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 That Payton quote was hilarious. "You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take" -- The Great One. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balta1701 Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 "I don't think that taste is there." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FlaSoxxJim Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 "It is tempting, if the only tool you have is a hammer, to treat everything as if it were a nail." --Abraham Maslow Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
witesoxfan Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 "Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity." - Seneca "We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." - Aristotle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brian Posted February 2, 2011 Share Posted February 2, 2011 "If you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything." -Doc Brown Of course it is BS because there is always someone in the way of whatever you are trying to accomplish. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ZoomSlowik Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 No idea who said it, but... "Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JPN366 Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 "Look, Sir...droids." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soxbadger Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 I decided my quote of the month was Wayne Gretzky: "You miss 100% of the shots you dont take." It may be dont or ever seems like there is some debate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigSqwert Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 (edited) Those Dave Berry ones are fantastic. Edited February 4, 2011 by BigSqwert Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BurlyMan56 Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 Favorite understatement " I really messed up this time " - Jeffrey Dahmer Favorite Quote " It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog " Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Texsox Posted February 4, 2011 Author Share Posted February 4, 2011 "So we shall let the reader answer this question for himself: who is the happier man, he who has braved the storm of life and lived or he who has stayed securely on shore and merely existed?" — Hunter S. Thompson Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rooftop Shots Posted February 4, 2011 Share Posted February 4, 2011 If you want to play hide and seek with Marty Feldman, stand right in front of him and he will never find you. Comedian David Brenner Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChiliIrishHammock24 Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 Fav. sports quotes.... "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take" - Gretzky "If I ever saw myself saying I'm excited going to Cleveland, I'd punch myself in the face, because I'm lying." - Ichiro “People ask me what I do in the winter when there's no baseball. I'll tell you what I do. I stare out the window and wait for spring.” - Rogers Hornsby Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chetkincaid Posted February 7, 2011 Share Posted February 7, 2011 "Why the f*** do I want a caravan that's got no f***ing wheels?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigSqwert Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 "You can't have your cake and eat it too" might be the stupidest f***ing quote ever. Who the hell wants to just have a cake and not be able to eat it? What's the point? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FlaSoxxJim Posted February 9, 2011 Share Posted February 9, 2011 QUOTE (BigSqwert @ Feb 8, 2011 -> 08:50 PM) "You can't have your cake and eat it too" might be the stupidest f***ing quote ever. Who the hell wants to just have a cake and not be able to eat it? What's the point? If you ate it then you wouldn't have it anymore. Maybe the order should be reversed and the quote should be "You can't eat your cake and have it too". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Texsox Posted February 9, 2011 Author Share Posted February 9, 2011 Another fav I kid because I care Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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