YASNY Posted March 19, 2011 Share Posted March 19, 2011 The widow had begrudgingly put up with her departed husband's philanderings for 20 years. But when it came for the reading of his final documents, the old gal just lost it. "Not only did he break his vows, what's Maury Wills everything to that bimbo! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YASNY Posted March 19, 2011 Share Posted March 19, 2011 The church had four boys selected to light the candles before mass, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. But Mark and Luke got confused about the their assigned responsiblities. Mark said "Are we where we are supposed to be?" Luke replied, "No, I think we are in the John Candelaria. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YASNY Posted March 19, 2011 Share Posted March 19, 2011 Two buddies were attempting a Saturday night out on the town, but one of the guys was whipped. Sure enough his girlfriend called and he said he had to go. His buddy, aggravated, said "C'mon, Kent Hrbek and call be ignored for once?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YASNY Posted March 19, 2011 Share Posted March 19, 2011 The guy had a strange speech impediment in the every time tried to use the 'f' sound it came out sounding like a 'p'. Being shorthanded, the door to door vacuum sales company hired him anyway. But their product was inferior to the competition and it was well known. The new knocked on his first door and woman of the house told him a competing company was already ther. He glanced inside and the product. He thought to himself, "I can't compete with a Kirby. Puckett I'll go elsewhere. I know. I'll stop now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rooftop Shots Posted March 19, 2011 Author Share Posted March 19, 2011 QUOTE (YASNY @ Mar 19, 2011 -> 09:03 AM) The church had four boys selected to light the candles before mass, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. But Mark and Luke got confused about the their assigned responsiblities. Mark said "Are we where we are supposed to be?" Luke replied, "No, I think we are in the John Candelaria. Man...Yas! You're on a roll. The Candelaria had me shaking my head and smiling. It was excellent. And the Pucket was good also. For some reason the Kent Hrbek hasn't clicked in my head yet I saw the Kirby and Ubaldo one a while back, but couldn't come up with anythng significant on the Kirby. I kind of stretched the Ubaldo one a bit! Commercial is over....so here we go again! Doggone leaves are all over my neighbors roof and are clogging up his downspouts. Maybe I ought to call a guy with an extension ladder to help clean out some of Don's Gutterridge. (Note! Hey Yas! How many readers are out there that are saying to themselves about us and others that have posted here......."Man these guys really need to get out more often and make an attempt to get a friggin' life???) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rooftop Shots Posted March 19, 2011 Author Share Posted March 19, 2011 Man I know some guys that when they cut a cheese, it just plain REEKS up the whole room! But a friend of mine does not have that problem. Nope! Rick Honeycuts them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YASNY Posted March 19, 2011 Share Posted March 19, 2011 QUOTE (YASNY @ Mar 19, 2011 -> 09:09 AM) Two buddies were attempting a Saturday night out on the town, but one of the guys was whipped. Sure enough his girlfriend called and he said he had to go. His buddy, aggravated, said "C'mon, Kent Hrbek and call be ignored for once?" Rooftop, to translate: ""C'mon, Kent Hrbek and call be ignored for once?" "Can't her beck" and call be ignored for once? .... If you have to explain a joke, it's lost. Ehhhhh, Puckett. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
YASNY Posted March 19, 2011 Share Posted March 19, 2011 I have one that has swimming around in my head for a while, and I can't seem to improve on it, so I'll just put it out there as is. Hey Andy, Etchebarren this commerative crystal football from Super Bowl XX. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
knightni Posted March 20, 2011 Share Posted March 20, 2011 Harry Chappas was a gay porn magazine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rooftop Shots Posted March 20, 2011 Author Share Posted March 20, 2011 They are building a new road in Gulliver's town of Lilliput. They are also putting an overpass in and they willl name it after the one that designed it. It will be called Brent's Lillibridge Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigSqwert Posted March 20, 2011 Share Posted March 20, 2011 Little Johnny was so excited to visit the former NBA player cemetery. He had planned on visiting the grave stones of his favorite players like Wilt Chamberlain and Manute Bol. As he walked up to Pistol Pete's grave, something frightened Johnny. He noticed a hand burst out of the ground and then Pete Rose from the grave! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rooftop Shots Posted March 20, 2011 Author Share Posted March 20, 2011 Somebody kept stealing my friends huge German mug full of beer, There is a reward that is posted for it's return. It states..... $100.00 for anyone who can get Terry's Steinbach Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MexSoxFan#1 Posted March 22, 2011 Share Posted March 22, 2011 A word of advice to Tyler, "Flowers is the way to go when you want to charm a girl off her feet". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rooftop Shots Posted March 22, 2011 Author Share Posted March 22, 2011 Do you think that my female friend should go to the store with her friends? No way Juan! Marichal go to the store all by herself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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