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50 Worst Bands Ever.....


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The 50 Worst Artists in Music History

Extended drum solos. Prog-rock concept albums. Kenny G. We endured all these — and much worse! — to bring you Blender’s list of the 50 most talentless music acts of all time.

:snr :snr

50 IRON BUTTERFLY

Everything bad about the ’60s, in one easy-to-avoid package

Legend has it that this Los Angeles acid-rock quintet had consumed such massive amounts of marijuana during the 1968 sessions for “In the Garden of Eden” that keyboardist-singer Doug Ingle could only mumble the title. Hence, “In-a-Gadda-da-Vida” was born, and its unexpurgated 17-minute version (including a two-and-a- half-minute drum solo) inaugurated the dubious era of free-form FM radio.

Appalling fact In-a-Gadda-da-Vida was the first LP ever to be certified platinum.

Worst CD Sun and Steel (MCA, 1975)

 

49 TOAD THE WET SPROCKET

Very poor name. Even poorer band

“We were together longer than we ever thought we’d be,” said Toad the Wet Sprocket singer Glenn Phillips when the band gave up in 1998. Longer than the rest of us had hoped, too. But the California four-piece defied the odds for 12 years, even piercing the Top 40 with their R.E.M. readymades.

Appalling fact Toad decided to have another go this year, playing dates with Counting Crows. Run.

Worst CD Pale (Columbia, 1990)

 

48 MASTER P

The dumbest of the Dirty South

In the late ’90s, rapper and label head Percy Miller copycatted G-funk, simplified it and launched a fleet of indistinguishable MCs wrapped in cheap-looking, jewel-riddled artwork. P’s worst offense was his solo work (his obnoxious breakout single, “Make Em Say Ugh,” consisted of little more than a repeated groan). Like a crawfish-suckin’ P. Diddy, he has, shockingly, earned millions from his No Limit imprint, which includes a clothing line, a publishing house — and even a phone company.

Appalling fact Master P had a Ferrari custom-painted in a Gucci-logo pattern.

Worst CD Only God Can Judge Me (No Limit, 1999)

 

47 GOO GOO DOLLS

Mediocre band, woeful balladeers

Buffalo, New York’s Goo Goo Dolls are former garage-rockers who, since their 1995 acoustic hit “Name,” have successfully flogged a pallid brand of Bon Jovi–lite “rock.” “Iris,” their smash 1998 weepie, gives power ballads a bad name.

Worst CD Gutterflower (Warner Bros., 2002)

 

 

46 THE SPIN DOCTORS

Beards. Extended “jams.” Oh dear, oh dear

For a brief time (between 1992 and 1996), it seemed that any workaday bar band, if it was willing to gamely trek around the country for at least three years, had a chance at superstardom (cf. Hootie and the Blowfish, Blues Traveler). Blame the Spin Doctors, hairy New Yorkers who — thanks to the supremely annoying “Little Miss Can’t Be Wrong” and “Two Princes” — momentarily opened a route between dive bars and the Billboard charts.

Appalling fact The Doctors got together while they were students at New York’s New School of Jazz.

Worst CD Homebelly Groove Live (Epic, 1992)

 

45 GIPSY KINGS

The curse of many a late-’80s dinner party

Having grown up on the French-Spanish border, the six cousins who formed Gipsy Kings craftily aspired to sell their mixture of flamenco, Eurotrash pop and questionable hairdos to a world desperate for something seemingly exotic. They seduced the über-rich at St. Tropez before hitching their wagon to the then-huge world-music boom, diluting the flamenco with drums, bass and even synthesizers. Soon, they became the Muzak in every bistro in the free world.

Appalling fact Well-known groover George H.W. Bush was so fond of the Gipsy Kings that he asked them to perform at his inaugural presidential ball. For some reason, they declined.

Worst CD Este Mundo (Elektra, 1991)

 

44 MANOWAR

None more metal. None more gay

An American answer to Judas Priest and Iron Maiden, Rochester, New York’s Manowar embody every conceivable heavy-metal cliché: Bodybuilders all, the four wear leather and animal pelts onstage; singer Eric Adams shrieks only of death, warfare and the glory of metal; Joey DeMaio performs solo bass renditions of “The Flight of the Bumblebee.” They’re quite possibly the most ludicrous people in rock & roll history.

Appalling fact In 1993, Russian youth voted Manowar above the Beatles and Michael Jackson as the act they would most like to see perform live.

Worst CD Sign of the Hammer (EMI, 1985)

 

43 MIKE & THE MECHANICS

“Every generation blames the one before,” they sang. So we will

While Phil Collins was torturing the world with his archetypal ’80s soft-rock, his Genesis colleague Mike Rutherford unwisely decided to join in. Ergo the Mechanics, a trio built around Rutherford, former Squeeze vocalist-keyboardist Paul Carrack and the late Paul Young. As shown by the 1989 number 1 hit “The Living Years,” an unbearably sentimental ode to Rutherford’s deceased father, they made Collins sound like the MC5.

Appalling fact Against significant odds, there is a U.K.-based Mike & the Mechanics tribute band, the Living Years.

Worst CD Beggar on a Beach of Gold (Virgin, 1995)

 

42 RICK WAKEMAN

Can play two synthesizers at once — but nothing that people want to hear

Keyboard “wizard” and professional cape wearer Wakeman’s diabolical taste revealed itself early, when he elected to join prog-rockers Yes instead of David Bowie’s backing band, the Spiders From Mars. Not content with contributing to Yes’s inexcusably pompous albums, he also spent the mid-’70s releasing a series of baroquely awful solo theme records, including The Myths and Legends of King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table. For reasons that are still unclear, he opted to perform that one on ice.

Appalling fact While playing Yes songs live, Wakeman would wolf down curry during sections in which he had little to do.

Worst CD Lisztomania (A&M, 1975)

 

41 WHITESNAKE

Dumb and dumberer

Led by ex–Deep Purple frontman David Coverdale, Whitesnake’s ’80s success with their karaoke Led Zeppelin routine can be explained only by the public’s enduring love for the double entendre, as exemplified on such songs as “Slide It In,” “Slow Poke Music” and “Spit It Out.”

Worst CD Slip of the Tongue (Geffen, 1989)

 

 

40: Blind Melon

A video made them:heroin undid them

 

39:Bob Geldof

Should have stuck to saving the planet

 

38:Nelson

Not even a traumatic hollywood childhood could make this duo interesting

 

37:The Doors

He was the Lizard King, No really...

 

36:98 Degress

Well, there mothers must love them

 

35:Paul Oakenfold

Hey,Mr. DJ: Keep your day job!

 

34:Live

These U2 sound-alikes never did find what they were looking for

 

33:Japan

An uncontestable argument against the '80's

 

32:The Hooters

The great folk-rock scare

 

31:Arrested Development

Too positive for their own good

 

30:Richard Marx

The devil-king of MOR

 

29:Skinny Puppy

The audience rarely sang along to "dogs***"

 

28:Crash Test Dummies

They said Brad Robert's voice was so deep it could be heard only by whales.Not True, sadly

 

27:Color Me Badd

These Oklahomans sang about sex. But they couldn't keep it up

 

26:Celion Dion

One more reason to hate the french?

 

25:Jamiroquai

The white, talentless Stevie Wonder

 

24:Bad English

With ex-members of Journey!

 

23:Creed

Whoever said the devil has all the best tunes was probably listening to Creed at the time

 

22:Primus

"Care for some prog-rock with cartoon-character vocals on the side?" "No, thanks!"

 

21:The Alan Parsons Project

The sound inside the head of Pink Floyd's engineer. Zzzzzzzzz.......

 

20:Howard Jones

He came from England. Thanks, England

 

19:Dan Fogelberg

Giving male sensitivity a bad name--one song at a time

 

18:Pat Boone

With his clean white bucks, he made rock & roll safe for '50s nerds

 

17:Benzino

He rapped, he co-owned

 

16:Oingo Boingo

Artless art-rock

 

15:Yanni

Fabio meets Tesh!

 

14:Yngwie Malmsteen

Big on solos, short on songs

 

13:Mick Jagger

Even Bill Wyman laughs at Mick's solo records

 

12:Tin Machine

David Bowie's darkest (non-acting) hour

 

11:Latoya Jackson

The least talented Jackson

 

10:Air Supply

The sound of eunuchs sobbing

 

9:Lee Greenwood

Gives patriotism a bad name

 

8:Vanilla Ice

The white boy to end all white boys

 

7:Asia

Ridicules album sleeves, virtuoso playing, souless rock. It can be only one band

 

6:Kansas

Beware all bands named after states or continents!

 

5:Starship

They built this city on rock & roll. And crap!

 

4:Kenny G

This guy really blows!

 

3:Michael Bolton

Otis Redding died for this?

 

2:Emerson, lake & Palmer

Welcome back, my friends, to the second-worst band in history!

 

1:Insane Clown Posse......

They sound even stupider than they look....

 

 

There is a some funny commentary on why they suck and all that in the mag(like 50-41 up there) but I'm not typing all that :bang

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I agree with most of that, I was just thinking the other day of how ICP fell off the map. But wtf are the doors doing on that list? Are they f***ing retarded? Light My Fire, Break on Through, The End, Riders on the Storm--just to name a few--are head and shoulders above anything on the list, and most of the crap on the radio today.

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I agree with most of that, I was just thinking the other day of how ICP fell off the map. But wtf are the doors doing on that list? Are they f***ing retarded? Light My Fire, Break on Through, The End, Riders on the Storm--just to name a few--are head and shoulders above anything on the list, and most of the crap on the radio today.

One other thing. The doors were YEARS, many years, ahead of their time with their sound and style. They are not one of my favorites of all time, but they were a very good band.

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Guest hotsoxchick1

iron butterfly and the doors.... geez gash... i usually agree but with those two on the list i dont think so... those are classics.. the rest of the list is cool though.. not much i like on there... :headbang on......

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I agree with most of that, I was just thinking the other day of how ICP fell off the map. But wtf are the doors doing on that list? Are they f***ing retarded? Light My Fire, Break on Through, The End, Riders on the Storm--just to name a few--are head and shoulders above anything on the list, and most of the crap on the radio today.

Here's what they said....

"While in college, many young men still choose to immerse themselves in such ill-advised subjects as Nietzsche, black magic and native American folklore. Most get over it; Jim Morrison, unfortunately, inflicted his terminally adolescent views on wider world. The consequences included over blown screeds of nonsense such as "The End" and "The Crystal Ship," plus, effectively, the invention of goth.Then he got fat and dies."

 

Appalling fact: Morrison is widely believed to have suffered his fatal heart attack while masturbating in his bathtub

 

Worst CD: The Soft Parade(Elektra, 1969)

 

 

 

 

If anyone else wants to know what they said about a particular band, just let me know and I'll put it up..

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I remember back in 8th back in '98, all of the sudden, all these kids in my class started listening to the Doors, Beatles, and Hendrix. I just didn't get it. That's my Mom's music. I could never listen to any of them, I've tried I just don't get it? I guess it's because I didn't live through the 60's or do Drugs :P

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iron butterfly and the doors.... geez gash... i usually agree but with those two on the list i dont think so... those are classics.. the rest of the list is cool though.. not much i like on there... :headbang  on......

Hey, don't blame me..blame Blender mag..they did the list

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Here's what they said....

"While in college, many young men still choose to immerse themselves in such ill-advised subjects as Nietzsche, black magic and native American folklore. Most get over it; Jim Morrison, unfortunately, inflicted his terminally adolescent views on wider world. The consequences included over blown screeds of nonsense such as "The End" and "The Crystal Ship," plus, effectively, the invention of goth.Then he got fat and dies.

 

Appalling fact: Morrison is widely believed to have suffered his fatal heart attack while masturbating in his bathtub

 

Worst CD: The Soft Parade(Elektra, 1969)

 

 

 

 

If anyone else wants to know what they said about a particular band, just let me know and I'll put it up..

ah that makes no sense at all. even if you didn't agree with what he was saying, the music was still good. no way they're in the worst 50 of all-time, but who am i to argue with blender magazine. :ph34r:

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Guest hotsoxchick1
I remember back in 8th back in '98, all of the sudden, all these kids in my class started listening to the Doors, Beatles, and Hendrix. I just didn't get it. That's my Mom's music. I could never listen to any of them, I've tried I just don't get it? I guess it's because I didn't live through the 60's or do Drugs :P

you dont have to do drugs to get it...just listen......youll catch on ......ill bet your mom says some of the same things about your music but gives it a try anyhow........i listen to my kids music and they listen to mine..... its a trade off.....

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I remember back in 8th back in '98, all of the sudden, all these kids in my class started listening to the Doors, Beatles, and Hendrix. I just didn't get it. That's my Mom's music. I could never listen to any of them, I've tried I just don't get it? I guess it's because I didn't live through the 60's or do Drugs :P

How could you POSSIBLY be into music and not get it? I personally dont LOVE any of those bands, but they were Pioneers to Rock n roll.

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you dont have to do drugs to get it...just listen......youll catch on ......ill bet your mom says some of the same things about your music but gives it a try anyhow........i listen to my kids music and they listen to mine..... its  a trade off.....

Nope, not at all. She thought the Doors sucked, and we're never cool. But she did like Jim Morrison, the personality. And thought it was wierd that my peers listened to that music, because, my older sister(23) and Mom listened to the same stuff, but definately not my generation.

 

Also I would never subject my Mom to listening to my music. She stays away from my music, I stay away from hers.

 

My opinion is that I understand and respect what those bands did to pop culture, and how they influenced so many band, and probably some that I listen to, but that doesn't mean I have to like them, or get accosted by people(not you guys) for not liking them.

 

It'll be weird if my kids we're listening to Alice in Chains, or Soundgarden.

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How could you POSSIBLY be into music and not get it? I personally dont LOVE any of those bands, but they were Pioneers to Rock n roll.

Ha, that's funny, I was writing my responce for a while, and actually answered you question without even knowing it. Must be psychic.

 

Anyways, I meant I didn't get why they we're listening to them. It didn't last long I'll tell you that, by the time 9th grade rolled around they weren't listening anymore. Now that I think about it, a lot of those kids that we're into them didn't make it throught High School

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Guest hotsoxchick1
Nope, not at all. She thought the Doors sucked, and we're never cool. But she did like Jim Morrison, the personality. And thought it was wierd that my peers listened to that music, because, my older sister(23) and Mom listened to the same stuff, but definately not my generation.

 

Also I would never subject my Mom to listening to my music. She stays away from my music, I stay away from hers.

 

My opinion is that I understand and respect what those bands did to pop culture, and how they influenced so many band, and probably some that I listen to, but that doesn't mean I have to like them, or get accosted by people(not you guys) for not liking them.

 

It'll be weird if my kids we're listening to Alice in Chains, or Soundgarden.

whats so weird about it .. my kids listen to alice in chains and i did too before i let them buy it... i try to understand their tastes and likes .. its our way of bonding i guess........we swap music all the time... and i really dont mind it........gives me variety .......to each their own i guess.......

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