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Paul Konerko under MLB investigation


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In a move that was no surprise to anyone, Paul Konerko is currently being investigated for computer parts. His hot start to the season at age 36 was suspicious enough, but after being hit in the "eye" with a pitch last Friday vs. the Cubs, Konerko proceeded to hit .600 with 2 HR, 4 2B, and 6 RBI in the following week. This amazing feat is what really caught the eye of commish Bud Selig. Selig said he plans to transport Konerko to a nearby testing facility in St. Louis where it was determined that Albert may have also been of the Android variety just a few years ago.

 

This picture surfaced earlier in the day, which shows Konerko playing backyard baseball with his "little brother". It's not confirmed, but it appears to have been taken before he had his human shell made, that he uses today.

 

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In a statement about the matter, Konerko said, "Beep boop beep boop boop", and then proceeded to scratch out a series of 1's and 0's in to the podium.

 

Stay tuned for continuous updates as this story unfolds.

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