Hilarious Upton/Verlander song deserves thread

[caulfield12]

Orioles manager Buck Showalter says RHP Chris Tillman, who was scheduled to pitch Sunday, experienced back spasms and will instead start Monday in Minnesota. Rookie Miguel Gonzalez will move up a day and start Sunday. Justin Verlander will start for Detroit in the series finale.

 

 

 

Upton Girl (like Billy Joel's "UptoWn Girl" but Upton Girl instead)

She’s been living in her Upton world

I bet she’s never had an M V P

I bet she’s never met one like J.V.

He’s gotta be with an

 

 

Upton Girl

He’s been living in his baseball world

As long as anyone with fastballs has

And now he’s looking for his big curve lass

She’s got the ass

 

 

And when he throws ‘One Oh One’

He can pitch No No’s

But now it seems like

This Kate might be his Yoko

Suddenly he’s not tough

Just because he’s been up on an

 

 

Upton Girl

You know I’ve seen her in that Swimsuit World

If just her photographs can wear me out

Imagine what the real girl’s about

She’ll wipe him out

 

 

And when she’s walking

She’s flaunting the goods

That’s when J.V. becomes baseball’s

Tiger Woods

We’ll see he’s not so tough

Just because he’s in love with an

 

 

Upton Girl

She’s been living in her Upton world

As long as anyone with double D’s

Can slowly take down a great M V P

She’s got J.V.

 

 

Upton Girl

J.V.’s Upton Girl

Don’t you know he’s in love with an

Upton Girl

J.V.’s Upton Girl …

 

 

 

VIDEO

 

 

 

 

http://www.freep.com/article/20120712/SPOR...s-about-JV-Kate

 

Pretty horrible voice by the performer, but that's kind of what makes it more hilarious.

Edited July 15, 2012 by caulfield12

[caulfield12]

An American League Central team gets a new manager and immediately responds to his approach.

 

It becomes the division's unexpected leader at the All-Star break.

 

Some veterans increase their production from the previous year. But the real surprise is how a rookie starter and rookie reliever contribute so much.

 

This description applies to the 2006 Tigers of Jim Leyland. It now applies to the 2012 White Sox of Robin Ventura.

 

It's time to entertain a thought that would have been farfetched this spring.

 

Even if the Tigers play well throughout the second half, they might not beat out the White Sox for the Central Division title. They might have to enter the playoffs as a wild-card team.

 

Under the new format, that would mean they'd open the playoffs with a one-game "play-in" game against the league's other wild-card team.

 

Help from the old and new

The Tigers resume play tonight in Baltimore with a five-game winning streak. But that streak allowed them to gain only one game on the White Sox, who lead them by 3 1/2 games.

 

In the week before the break, the White Sox became the first team this year to win three straight games from Texas. In the series finale, rookie left-hander Jose Quintana held the mighty Rangers to two hits over eight innings. Quintana (4-1, 2.04 ERA) has been doing for the Sox lately what rookie right-hander Justin Verlander did for the '06 Tigers.

 

Rookie right-hander Addison Reed relieved Quintana and pitched a perfect ninth against Texas for his 13th save in 14 opportunities. Reed has been providing the kind of shutdown relief that rookie Joel Zumaya did for the Tigers in '06.

 

Quintana and Reed didn't make the All-Star team, but four teammates did. As each stood at his locker in the AL clubhouse this week in Kansas City, it was as if each stood in the Tigers' way for the second half as well.

 

In the corner of the AL clubhouse is White Sox first baseman Paul Konerko. At 36, he is an undiminished force. Check out his OPS (on-base percentage plus slugging percentage), which measures how often he gets on base and how often he gets extra-base hits. He has exceeded his current OPS (.932) in only one full season.

 

In the middle of the locker room is left-handed starter Chris Sale. He's 10-2 with a 2.19 ERA. The big question about him is how he will hold up, because he was a reliever the previous two years. But the White Sox are being careful with him; they had him skip his turn before the break.

 

Over against this wall is White Sox veteran starter Jake Peavy. After a few years of injuries, he's now pitching as he did when he won the Cy Young Award with San Diego in '07. He's tied for the league lead in quality starts (14) with Verlander and the Angels' C.J. Wilson.

 

Just down the wall from Peavy is designated hitter Adam Dunn, who might be Ventura's greatest triumph. Last season, in his first season with the White Sox, Dunn hit 11 homers. He'd hit at least 38 homers in each of the previous seven seasons in the NL.

 

This season, Dunn has 25 homers. Is he perhaps properly adjusted to the AL now that he has been in it for one year? Or can Dunn's revival be traced in part to the change from the intense unpredictable style of last year's manager, Ozzie Guillen, to the steady, relaxed style of Ventura?

 

Unlike Guillen, who moved Dunn all over the order, Ventura has kept Dunn in the prestigious No. 3 spot, even when he has had homerless streaks of 10 and 11 games, and even as he has continued to lead the majors in striking out.

 

At the All-Star Game, Dunn praised Ventura.

 

"He's been the same guy since Day 1, and it's awesome," Dunn said. "He doesn't let anything build or carry over. He doesn't get too high or too low."

 

Ventura, who turns 45 on Saturday, played 16 years in the big leagues.

 

"He knows exactly what we're going through," Dunn said. "For me, you can't put into words what that means."

 

 

hhtp://www.freep.com/sports

 

 

 

 

 

Jim Price on...

 

Jim, what are your thoughts in regards to the recent rumor regarding the Tigers landing Justin Upton in a trade with Arizona. Do you think its worth giving up Castellanos and Turner based on Uptons already proven talents and young age?

by Nateahl7/13/2012 3:09:11 PM 12:09 AM yesterday

 

There are some people that are untouchable and Castellanos is kind of in that vein and he's on the fast track. I know Kirk Gibson, and there's got to be a reason that folks are

shopping certain people. That would be my concern. The one thing our organization has done lately is look at character. We had some problems with that in the 90s. I would question if we would do that. There would be deep discussion before we would bring someone into the organization.

by Jim Price7/13/2012 3:11:02 PM 12:11 AM yesterday

 

Do you think the Tigers will make a move for a second baseman? I hear Polanco might be available. What would be the asking price? I think that would be a perfect move in bring him back for both parties

by Scott7/13/2012 3:11:16 PM 12:11 AM yesterday

 

Not sure about Placido. We're definitely looking. Mr. Ilitch will pull the trigger. We're the third-highest payroll in baseball. The feelers are out, and I think we would pull the trigger.

by Jim Price7/13/2012 3:12:04 PM 12:12 AM yesterday

 

Note, they're also looking at Omar Infante and Kelly Johnson if both those teams continue faltering.

Edited July 15, 2012 by caulfield12