Quin Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 (edited) Yup, we gettin' nerdy up in here. Got a problem with it? Well, I don't give a f***. Jason: Strangers from distant lands, friends of old, you have been summoned here to answer the threat of the Tigers. White Sox Nation stands upon the brink of destruction; none can escape it. You will unite or you will fall. Each fan is bound to this fate, this one doom. Bring forth the 2012 World Series Ring, Quin. [Quin puts the Ring on a stand for all to see] Steve: So it is true. [stands and walks towards the Ring]. In a dream, I saw the standings grow dark. But in Chicago, a pale light lingered. A voice was crying, "The doom is near at hand, the Tigers are hot." [reaches for the Standings]. Ozzie's Bane... Kyyle: Steve! Balta: [speaking the words engraved on the standings] Ash Nazg Durbatuluk, Ash Nazg Gimbatul, Ash Nazg Thrakatuluk, Agh Burzum-ishi Krimpatul. J4L: What the f***? [the light darkens and the air rumbles; Steve backs away from the Ring] Jason: Never before has anyone dared utter words of that tongue here, on SoxTalk. J4L: Maybe because it made no sense? SS2k5: Shut up Jordan4Life. J4L: What? SS2k5: I just want a higher post count and I'm not in this script. Balta: I do not ask for pardon, Master Jason, for the Black Speech of Mordor may yet be heard in every corner of the South Side! The race is altogether evil. Steve: But it is a gift. A gift to the foes of Chicago. Why not use this Ring? Long has my father, the Steward of Flapship, kept the forces of Detroit at bay. By the blood of our people are your lands kept safe! Give Chicago the weapon of the enemy! Let us use it against him! Kyle: You cannot wield it. None of us can. The One Ring answers to Verlander alone. It has no other master. Steve: And what would a Admin know of this matter? Lostfan: This is no mere Admin. He is Kyyle, son of Kyle. With one "y". You owe him your allegiance. Steve: Kyyle? This is Ozzie's heir? Kitekrazy: No, that's Greg, but he couldn't make the meeting. Lostfan: And heir to the throne of Pale Hose Talk. Kyyle: [Personal Message] Sit down, Lostfan. Steve: Pale Hose Talk has no King. Pale Hose Talk needs no King. Balta: Kyyle is right. We cannot use it. Jason: You have only one choice. The Ring must be destroyed. Knightni: ORLY? Dick Allen: Then what are we waiting for? [He strikes the ring with his Bat; the Bat breaks, leaving the ring intact] Jason: The ring cannot be destroyed, Dick Allen, son of Nellie Fox, by any craft that we here possess. The Ring was made in the fires of The AL Central. Only there can it be unmade. The ring must be taken deep into the playoffs and cast back into the fiery chasm from whence it came. One of you must do this. Steve: One does not simply walk into the playoffs. Its gates are guarded by more than just Tigers. There is evil there that does not sleep. The great Verlander is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland, riddled with fire, ash, and dust. The very air you breathe is a poisonous fume. Not with ten thousand men could you do this. It is folly. Lostfan: Have you heard nothing Lord Jason has said? The ring must be destroyed! Dick Allen: And I suppose you think you're the one to do it? Steve: And if we fail, what then? What happens when Verlander takes back what is his? Dick Allen: I will be dead before I see the Ring in the hands of an Tiger! Never trust an Tiger! [the council argues amongst themselves] Balta: Do you not understand while you bicker amongst yourselves, Verlander's power grows?! None will escape it- you'll all be destroyed! [the arguing voices are drowned out by Verlander saying some s***. Quin gets to his feet] Quin: I will take it! I will take it! [All fall silent] I will take the Ring to Chicago...though I do not know the way. J4L: You've been to White Sox games. How the f*** do you not know where it is? Balta: I will help you bear this burden, Quinarvy, for as long as it is yours to bear. Kyyle: If by my life or death I can protect you, I will. You have my pimp chain... Lostfan: And you have my Cyanide and Happieness. Dick Allen: And my Bat. Steve: You carry the fate of us all, young one. If this is indeed the will of the SoxTalk, then Flapship will see it done. [Ace rushes in] Sam: Mr. Q's not going anywhere without me! J4L: Woah, qwerty's here? What about Felix? They got cast in this? SS2k5: I think we're high. And he meant Quin when he said Q. Jason: No, indeed, especially when he is summoned to a secret council and you are not. Brian: We're coming, too! [Jason looks astounded] You'd have to send us home tied up in a sack to stop us! Blaze: Anyway, you need people of intelligence on this sort of mission... quest... thing. Brian: That rules you out, Blaze. Jason: Nine companions. So be it. You shall be the Fellowship of the Ring. Pippin: Great! Where are we going? elrockin: J4L, SS2k5...how do they not know they're headed to Chicago? SS2k5: First they must pass the treacherous hell known as Detroit... _______________________________________________________________________________________ Earlier... Caesar: We must join with him, Balta. We must join with Verlander. It would be wise, my friend. Balta: [disgusted] Tell me, "friend", when did Caesar the Grumpy abandon reason for madness? [angered, Caesar uses his powers to throw Balta to the floor] Caesar: I gave you the choice of aiding me willingly, but you have elected the way of pain! Even earlier... Caulfied: It began with the forging of the Great Offseason. Ozzie left the Sox for greener pastures, taking with him the Rock of the Rotation. A fresh start for Lord Theo, great architect and money thrower of the Crumbling Stadium. And another slugger was gifted to the Tigers, who above all else, desire power. For within these moves was bound the strength and will to govern each race. But they were all of them deceived, for another move was made. In the land of Detroit, in the fires of Any Location in Detroit, they're all on fire, The Dark Lord Verlander forged in secret a Master Pitch, to control all others. And into this Pitch, he poured his cruelty, his malice and his will to dominate all life. One Pitch to rule them all. AND NOW, IN THIS CORNER WITH A 5-3 RECORD AND 3.17 ERA, THE FLYING SERPENT JOOOOOOSSEEEEEE QUINTAAAAAANAAAAA AND IN THIS CORNER WITH A 10-6 RECORD AND 3.21 ERA A girls best friend, so homie here got friendzoned. SOX KICKED SOME TWINKIE ASS LAST GAME. IT WAS AWESOME. RALLY 'STACHES ARE f***ING AWESOME AND NOW, WITH THE POWER OF THE STACHE, THE SOX HAVE MOMENTUM SO, WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN? ARE THEY GONNA FAIL ON THEIR JOURNEY? HELL f***ING NO. ARE THEY ABOUT TO MAKE A PUSH TO FREE THE SOUTH SIDE? YES. BECAUSE f*** ALL THE HATERS. THIS. IS. WHITE SOX. BASEBALL. AND NOW, FOR YOUR CHICAGO WHITE SOX. Edited September 4, 2012 by Quinarvy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyyle23 Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 wow. just wow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caulfield12 Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 Pretty funny stuff. Kate Upton has to be in it, SOMEHOW. Bayer Aspirin, if only Chris Sale and Quintana were taking it daily, their weary shoulders and elbows would be rejuvenated like Justin's. Fathom and Marty34. Greg775 and Al Davis. The Royals...the rising nascent power of Butler, Moustakas, Gordon, Perez and Escobar. Gene Lamont, just because of his former Sox managerial connection. Same with Dombrowski and Leyland. Hic-key/Hic-man, and Moose, for tribute purposes. The porn stache that makes Konerko look like one of the 3 Musketeers or a sous chef in Ratatouille. Delmon Young can be yet another villain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rowand44 Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 I feel as if the Sox have to keep on winning just so Q can keep doing the game threads. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoxAce Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 QUOTE (Rowand44 @ Sep 4, 2012 -> 06:21 AM) I feel as if the Sox have to keep on winning just so Q can keep doing the game threads. Agreed, even if my cameo role was smaller. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NorthSideSox72 Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 f***ing awesome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balta1701 Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 Did I just get to be Gandalf? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caulfield12 Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 (edited) Carroll's homer ended his streak of 1,438 at-bats without a home run, the longest by an active major league player. Despite his exceptional performance, Santiago didn't guarantee himself another start. Dylan Axelrod will be promoted Tuesday from Double-A Birmingham and could start Sunday against the Royals. The White Sox hope they can change the thinking of left-hander Francisco Liriano with as many as six starts remaining. Two days after Liriano tied his career high with seven walks in only four-plus innings in Detroit, pitching coach Don Cooper worked Monday with Liriano on changing his planning. "He's trying for corners," Cooper said. "He's picking. He's thinking more physical, and there's some matador in him. There's some, 'I don't want you to hit it.' We've got to get him to grasp the first part of the plan — which is get strike one, get to 0-2, 1-2. Make them hit the first, second or third (pitch). "Our point of emphasis has to be the first three pitches to get to that position. And that's what he's not getting to enough. And he's putting himself in a lot of danger." Opponents are batting .181 when Liriano is ahead in the count, but the average jumps to .281 when the count is even and .278 when Liriano falls behind. Liriano has limited batters to a .199 batting average on 0-1 counts, .110 on 0-2 counts and .145 on 1-2 counts. "We talked nothing mechanically," Cooper said of Liriano's bullpen session. "It's all about three-pitch sequences. And his sidelines have been great. But the difference is (in) the electricity of the game, the big moments of the game, he's thinking (throw) harder. That's not the answer." Floyd update: The big test for Gavin Floyd will be Thursday when he throws breaking pitches in his second bullpen session. Floyd said he felt "a little achy" after throwing 20 pitches Monday in his first bullpen session since being placed on the 15-day disabled Aug. 27 because of right elbow tendinitis. "It was a step in the right direction," Floyd said. "I'm pretty excited." Hickey tribute: The Sox held a pregame tribute to former pitcher/pregame batting practice pitcher Kevin Hickey, 56, who died May 16 after being found unresponsive April 5 in his Dallas hotel room one day before the Sox's season opener. The Sox named their batting cages in memory of Hickey, with a plaque commemorating his achievements to be placed outside the cages. Get well soon: Manager Robin Ventura was hopeful assistant hitting coach Mike Gellinger would rejoin the team later this season. Gellinger blacked out Wednesday in his Baltimore hotel room and suffered trauma to a vertebrae. www.chicagotribune.com/sports/whitesox/ mark gonzales Edited September 4, 2012 by caulfield12 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lostfan Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 The Rock of the Rotation. LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southsider2k5 Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 Nicely done Q. I appreciate my character trashing Detroit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quin Posted September 4, 2012 Author Share Posted September 4, 2012 QUOTE (Rowand44 @ Sep 4, 2012 -> 06:21 AM) I feel as if the Sox have to keep on winning just so Q can keep doing the game threads. QUOTE (SoxAce @ Sep 4, 2012 -> 07:07 AM) Agreed, even if my cameo role was smaller. QUOTE (Balta1701 @ Sep 4, 2012 -> 08:54 AM) Did I just get to be Gandalf? Yes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quin Posted September 4, 2012 Author Share Posted September 4, 2012 QUOTE (southsider2k5 @ Sep 4, 2012 -> 09:54 AM) Nicely done Q. I appreciate my character trashing Detroit. You and J4L were my favorite characters. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southsider2k5 Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 QUOTE (Quinarvy @ Sep 4, 2012 -> 10:25 AM) You and J4L were my favorite characters. All I ask for is royalties from the upcoming movie rights. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigEdWalsh Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 Now THAT is a game thread start. GO SOX!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyyle23 Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 If I read that right I am Samwise. I can deal with that Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quin Posted September 4, 2012 Author Share Posted September 4, 2012 QUOTE (KyYlE23 @ Sep 4, 2012 -> 11:10 AM) If I read that right I am Samwise. I can deal with that You're Aragorn... Ace is Sam. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyyle23 Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 QUOTE (Quinarvy @ Sep 4, 2012 -> 12:40 PM) You're Aragorn... Ace is Sam. Even better, i get a sword Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChiliIrishHammock24 Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 Battle 'stache! Battle 'stache! Battle 'stache! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elrockinMT Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 Reading all that stuff is worth it as long as we win tonite LOL Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baron Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 Damn Im not in the script again. But we won last time without me so... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danman31 Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 We have a new standard for game threads. Not really possible to match this without also scripting posters into famous movie scenes. We now need to see the Pulp Fiction version. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve9347 Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 (edited) Well that was certainly something. I've never read or seen anything Lord of the Rings. True story. Crazy, huh? I am hoping for a winning streak straight til a Championship just to see if Q can top this one. Edited September 4, 2012 by Steve9347 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quin Posted September 4, 2012 Author Share Posted September 4, 2012 QUOTE (Steve9347 @ Sep 4, 2012 -> 01:07 PM) Well that was certainly something. I've never read or seen anything Lord of the Rings. True story. Crazy, huh? Your character is the jackass who's tempted by power and redeems himself and dies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quin Posted September 4, 2012 Author Share Posted September 4, 2012 QUOTE (Baron @ Sep 4, 2012 -> 01:07 PM) Damn Im not in the script again. But we won last time without me so... DAMNIT. I thought I put you in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve9347 Posted September 4, 2012 Share Posted September 4, 2012 QUOTE (Quinarvy @ Sep 4, 2012 -> 01:08 PM) Your character is the jackass who's tempted by power and redeems himself and dies. That sounds about right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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