iamshack Posted June 25, 2013 Author Share Posted June 25, 2013 QUOTE (farmteam @ Jun 25, 2013 -> 10:20 AM) That would be a really neat idea if done well. I have no idea how to do it well though, hah! At my brother's wedding, the open bar started serving an hour before the "ceremony" started (the ceremony was in the same room as the reception; the ceremony was literally less than five minutes and not religious). That was pretty cool. Yeah, neither of us are very religious either...we may make one of our friends get the certification online to marry us Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soxbadger Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 Do what you want and will make you guys happy (or her parents lol). Ive been to obnoxiously expensive weddings and to be honest, most people just dont care. I would rather go to a fun wedding and I hate dressing up, so anything more casual is my preference. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southsider2k5 Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 QUOTE (iamshack @ Jun 25, 2013 -> 11:15 AM) So we're thinking of having the wedding at the house in the spring of next year...i HATE weddings, especially really formal weddings. I want it to be really casual, but not disrespectful, I guess...anyone think doing a few food trucks for the catering would be cool? Your wedding should fit your personalities. If that is informal, then screw what everyone else thinks. It is your day, and don't let anyone tell you differently. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamshack Posted June 25, 2013 Author Share Posted June 25, 2013 QUOTE (Soxbadger @ Jun 25, 2013 -> 11:06 AM) Do what you want and will make you guys happy (or her parents lol). Ive been to obnoxiously expensive weddings and to be honest, most people just dont care. I would rather go to a fun wedding and I hate dressing up, so anything more casual is my preference. Yeah, that is my feeling precisely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamshack Posted June 25, 2013 Author Share Posted June 25, 2013 QUOTE (southsider2k5 @ Jun 25, 2013 -> 11:12 AM) Your wedding should fit your personalities. If that is informal, then screw what everyone else thinks. It is your day, and don't let anyone tell you differently. Yeah...I agree...but at the same time, I don't want to look back on it in 20 years and think "wtf were we thinking"? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southsider2k5 Posted June 25, 2013 Share Posted June 25, 2013 QUOTE (iamshack @ Jun 25, 2013 -> 01:13 PM) Yeah...I agree...but at the same time, I don't want to look back on it in 20 years and think "wtf were we thinking"? You won't, trust me. The last thing you remember down the road is the formal stuff. You remember the people, the dances, the drinking, the conversations etc. No one talks about the place settings or flowers. Make it fit your personalities. You won't regret it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StrangeSox Posted June 26, 2013 Share Posted June 26, 2013 We did it pretty informal. Had the reception in my wife's parents' backyard. Catering company came and grilled up steaks, chops, chicken etc. and served a full bar. Open seating so people could sit by who they wanted (really so we didn't have to make seating charts lol). We even had a make-your-own-sunday bar. Two of our friends got married at one of the big historic Joliet mansions last year. It was beautiful, but my wife and I were still really glad we did it our way. We didn't hear any negative feedback through the grapevine (except about the mosquitoes, they were terrible), and if anyone didn't like it, well, it wasn't their wedding. It was also nice that we went as late as we wanted. I think we were up outside until 5am. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamshack Posted June 26, 2013 Author Share Posted June 26, 2013 QUOTE (StrangeSox @ Jun 25, 2013 -> 07:47 PM) We did it pretty informal. Had the reception in my wife's parents' backyard. Catering company came and grilled up steaks, chops, chicken etc. and served a full bar. Open seating so people could sit by who they wanted (really so we didn't have to make seating charts lol). We even had a make-your-own-sunday bar. Two of our friends got married at one of the big historic Joliet mansions last year. It was beautiful, but my wife and I were still really glad we did it our way. We didn't hear any negative feedback through the grapevine (except about the mosquitoes, they were terrible), and if anyone didn't like it, well, it wasn't their wedding. It was also nice that we went as late as we wanted. I think we were up outside until 5am. This sounds right up my alley, SS...especially the grilling part...I am hoping we end up staying outside til 5 am as well! I'm trying to resist the fiancee's desire to hire a wedding planner...what are peoples' thoughts on that? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southsider2k5 Posted June 26, 2013 Share Posted June 26, 2013 QUOTE (iamshack @ Jun 26, 2013 -> 08:54 AM) This sounds right up my alley, SS...especially the grilling part...I am hoping we end up staying outside til 5 am as well! I'm trying to resist the fiancee's desire to hire a wedding planner...what are peoples' thoughts on that? They really do play a nice role in the fact that they know everything you don't. Ours were a big help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lord chas Posted June 26, 2013 Share Posted June 26, 2013 QUOTE (southsider2k5 @ Jun 26, 2013 -> 09:29 AM) They really do play a nice role in the fact that they know everything you don't. Ours were a big help. Totally agree. No matter how big or small your wedding is you will have so many decisions and things that need to get done. Having someone make the phone calls, emails, run errands, etc is well worth the money to keep your sanity IMO Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southsider2k5 Posted June 26, 2013 Share Posted June 26, 2013 QUOTE (lord chas @ Jun 26, 2013 -> 10:49 AM) Totally agree. No matter how big or small your wedding is you will have so many decisions and things that need to get done. Having someone make the phone calls, emails, run errands, etc is well worth the money to keep your sanity IMO Especially in the final week or two before the wedding when everything gets crazy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IlliniKrush Posted June 26, 2013 Share Posted June 26, 2013 QUOTE (iamshack @ Jun 26, 2013 -> 08:54 AM) This sounds right up my alley, SS...especially the grilling part...I am hoping we end up staying outside til 5 am as well! I'm trying to resist the fiancee's desire to hire a wedding planner...what are peoples' thoughts on that? If you don't want to go full-blown wedding planner, I would, at the very least, hire someone to be a day-of coordinator. That's what we did, and it was a great call. Could also be a good compromise between you and your wife. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iwritecode Posted June 26, 2013 Share Posted June 26, 2013 I don't even think I knew that wedding planners existed when I got married. We did everything as inexpensively as we could (only spent a couple thousand total) and still had a really nice wedding with a wedding party of 14 people. Our biggest expense was the pictures and it was definitely money well spent. Those are what will stay long after the ceremony is over and the dancing, food and drinking is done. Plus our photographer pretty much planned out our entire day for us. We did separate pictures at the church before the wedding and then with everyone together after the ceremony. Then during the reception they planned out when everything would be done so they could get pictures. First dance, father/daughter dance, mother/son dance, cutting of the cake, throwing of the bouquet, etc... It all went really smoothly and after all the "formalities" at the reception were done, we were free to do whatever we wanted the rest of the night. My friend tried to save money by hiring one guy to do the pictures and be the DJ at the reception and they really regretted it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StrangeSox Posted June 27, 2013 Share Posted June 27, 2013 QUOTE (southsider2k5 @ Jun 26, 2013 -> 09:29 AM) They really do play a nice role in the fact that they know everything you don't. Ours were a big help. Ours was forced on us as a family friend and was generally terrible and useless. My wife, her parents and I independently arranged for the large tent, port-a-potties, catering, cake (another family friend but she's good at it), DJ, and flower arrangements. Really the only thing she did was the tables and chairs, which she screwed up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southsider2k5 Posted June 27, 2013 Share Posted June 27, 2013 QUOTE (StrangeSox @ Jun 27, 2013 -> 08:16 AM) Ours was forced on us as a family friend and was generally terrible and useless. My wife, her parents and I independently arranged for the large tent, port-a-potties, catering, cake (another family friend but she's good at it), DJ, and flower arrangements. Really the only thing she did was the tables and chairs, which she screwed up. That's no good. You really do have to interview them like any other job hiring. You have to make sure they understand very clearly what you want. Like I said earlier, it is your day. Everyone else needs to be on board with that, especially a planner. When done right they really lighten your load. When done wrong, they turn into another whinny bridesmaid essentially. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenksismyhero Posted June 27, 2013 Share Posted June 27, 2013 My wife got one of her friends to do it. She was great at being bossy, which is what you need. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StrangeSox Posted June 27, 2013 Share Posted June 27, 2013 (edited) QUOTE (southsider2k5 @ Jun 27, 2013 -> 09:45 AM) That's no good. You really do have to interview them like any other job hiring. You have to make sure they understand very clearly what you want. Like I said earlier, it is your day. Everyone else needs to be on board with that, especially a planner. When done right they really lighten your load. When done wrong, they turn into another whinny bridesmaid essentially. Actually I should clarify a bit. Our big reception was back here, but we got married down in Puerto Rico with a handful of close family and friends. We did have a wedding planner through the hotel down there and she was great. A big part of not really needing a planner back home was that we weren't doing anything fancy and really didn't want anything more than for everyone to have a good time. Nobody was obsessed with making everything 'perfect' and it turned out great. Edited June 27, 2013 by StrangeSox Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IlliniKrush Posted June 27, 2013 Share Posted June 27, 2013 QUOTE (Jenksismyb**** @ Jun 27, 2013 -> 09:49 AM) My wife got one of her friends to do it. She was great at being bossy, which is what you need. Exactly what we did. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamshack Posted June 27, 2013 Author Share Posted June 27, 2013 I'm a bit of a control freak, and I tend to think with most things that I know what I want and therefore can just do it easier myself, so I am thinking I will try and arrange a lot of the things myself. But then on the other hand, I do realize I have some limitations, and landscaping/decorating/setting up the stuff in our yard will definitely be one of them. I think I'll poke around and look for some kind of landscaper or landscape architect or decorator or something who might just want to take charge of setting up the yard for the ceremony and reception. I really think I can handle arranging a lot of the other things. I guess we will find out though. Anyone do dance lessons? I am terrible at dancing and don't want to embarrass her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pettie4sox Posted June 27, 2013 Share Posted June 27, 2013 QUOTE (iamshack @ Jun 27, 2013 -> 10:26 AM) Anyone do dance lessons? I am terrible at dancing and don't want to embarrass her. Are you white? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamshack Posted June 27, 2013 Author Share Posted June 27, 2013 QUOTE (pettie4sox @ Jun 27, 2013 -> 08:42 AM) Are you white? Yes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southsider2k5 Posted June 27, 2013 Share Posted June 27, 2013 QUOTE (StrangeSox @ Jun 27, 2013 -> 09:49 AM) Actually I should clarify a bit. Our big reception was back here, but we got married down in Puerto Rico with a handful of close family and friends. We did have a wedding planner through the hotel down there and she was great. A big part of not really needing a planner back home was that we weren't doing anything fancy and really didn't want anything more than for everyone to have a good time. Nobody was obsessed with making everything 'perfect' and it turned out great. And for people planning just remember, the more complex plans get, the more chances of something going wrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pettie4sox Posted June 27, 2013 Share Posted June 27, 2013 (edited) QUOTE (iamshack @ Jun 27, 2013 -> 10:50 AM) Yes. You are doomed then. =) Kidding. I'm sure they are some places you get lessons. I'm assuming you mean traditional dancing, right? Edited June 27, 2013 by pettie4sox Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamshack Posted June 27, 2013 Author Share Posted June 27, 2013 QUOTE (pettie4sox @ Jun 27, 2013 -> 09:03 AM) You are doomed then. =) Hah...i just need to learn how to do the first few dances...I have accepted that I will always make a fool of myself in the non-formal dancing Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StrangeSox Posted June 27, 2013 Share Posted June 27, 2013 QUOTE (southsider2k5 @ Jun 27, 2013 -> 11:02 AM) And for people planning just remember, the more complex plans get, the more chances of something going wrong. We went to a family friends' daughter's wedding last year. She had been posting about her wedding nonstop on facebook for about a year. For the entire wedding, she looked absolutely miserable and on the verge of tears because not everything was 100% perfect. I don't know why people stress themselves out so much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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