Chi Town Sox Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 How did you all break the news to her father that you want to marry his daughter? Golf? Dinner? Bar? What seems like it should be so easy, is actually very nerve-wrecking! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamshack Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 QUOTE (Chi Town Sox @ Apr 8, 2013 -> 02:49 PM) How did you all break the news to her father that you want to marry his daughter? Golf? Dinner? Bar? What seems like it should be so easy, is actually very nerve-wrecking! Hah....I have to do this as well in the next few months most likely...I think I am just going to go over to his house and tell him I plan to ask his daughter to marry me, and I would appreciate it if he would give me his blessing first... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StrangeSox Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 I told her father a week before when we were over there for dinner on a Saturday or Sunday night. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigruss Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 QUOTE (iamshack @ Apr 8, 2013 -> 04:51 PM) Hah....I have to do this as well in the next few months most likely...I think I am just going to go over to his house and tell him I plan to ask his daughter to marry me, and I would appreciate it if he would give me his blessing first... So I find this all very old-school, is it still common place to do this? I know it's a way to show respect to the father in law, but I just thought this was out-dated. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pettie4sox Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 (edited) QUOTE (bigruss22 @ Apr 8, 2013 -> 04:53 PM) So I find this all very old-school, is it still common place to do this? I know it's a way to show respect to the father in law, but I just thought this was out-dated. Outdated or not, I personally believe it's something that needs to be done. It's sort of nice to find out if your father in law will be in your corner in the future or not. Some fathers might not be too peculiar about this but it's better safe than sorry. As for OP, you should do whatever makes you comfortable as far as the venue goes. Dinner at his favorite resturant sounds good. Edited April 8, 2013 by pettie4sox Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 If/when I pop the question to the lady that I plan to do so to, I probably won't ask the father. He is a pretty non-traditional guy, isn't a big fan of marriage, isn't religious, and I don't think he'd care either way. If my girl's dad was more traditional, I wouldn't have a problem schmoozing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clyons Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 Mine lived out of state, so I called him and asked/told. I think he appreciated it, but would not have been resented it if I hadn't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamshack Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 QUOTE (PlaySumFnJurny @ Apr 8, 2013 -> 02:58 PM) Mine lived out of state, so I called him and asked/told. I think he appreciated it, but would not have been resented it if I hadn't. Lucky man! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bmags Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 QUOTE (bigruss22 @ Apr 8, 2013 -> 09:53 PM) So I find this all very old-school, is it still common place to do this? I know it's a way to show respect to the father in law, but I just thought this was out-dated. While I find history of literally needing permission outdated and disgusting, I think going over to parents before a proposal to let them know you are going to marry their daughter to be very worthwhile. It will probably be one of few times you will be alone with their parents and I think is a great start to what will be a crazy time. I just went over to their house and did it. But my friends have taken them to a restaurant and such. I don't see the need to beat around the bush but to each his own. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IlliniKrush Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 I think it's respectful, not an outdated tradition. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenksismyhero Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 I "told" both of my in laws that I bought a ring and planned to ask within a couple weeks. I never asked. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigruss Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 I definitely get the respect portion of it, I just honestly hadn't heard of any one near my age who is getting/is married do that. More curious than anything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Balta1701 Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 Hated doing so, did so the phone call route since actually going would have involved large amounts of travel. Not sure whether it was appreciated or not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigSqwert Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 Must be something younger couples do as this never even crossed my mind when I proposed. My wife was independent and living on her own for 15 years or so when I asked her to marry me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chi Town Sox Posted April 8, 2013 Author Share Posted April 8, 2013 QUOTE (BigSqwert @ Apr 8, 2013 -> 05:45 PM) Must be something younger couples do as this never even crossed my mind when I proposed. My wife was independent and living on her own for 15 years or so when I asked her to marry me. We are both independent and living on our own as well, it's been something that I've known was somewhat traditional since I was young. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigEdWalsh Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 I clobbered my soon-to-be wife over the head with a club. As I dragged her past her families' cave, I nodded and grunted to her father. He nodded and grunted back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
knightni Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 Gotta call him this weekend. :-/ He's not really in her life, but I'm doing it to keep the peace. I've already proposed, so now it's just in repair mode at this point because he got his dander up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jake Posted April 8, 2013 Share Posted April 8, 2013 Yeah, if anything I'd be telling... UNLESS I expected financial contributions for the wedding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joxer_Daly Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 QUOTE (Chi Town Sox @ Apr 8, 2013 -> 10:49 PM) How did you all break the news to her father that you want to marry his daughter? Golf? Dinner? Bar? What seems like it should be so easy, is actually very nerve-wrecking! I wouldn't stress it too much, whatever you do. I didn't actually ask mine, but he was on the other side of Europe, so it was no big deal. It would never have ocurred to me to do so, to be honest. But, having seen how my Da appreciated my brother in law doing it, I'd definitely say it's a nice thing to do. But don't go mental. Just do something you'd normally do - would you go for a pint together, at all, from time to time? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joxer_Daly Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 QUOTE (knightni @ Apr 9, 2013 -> 12:45 AM) Gotta call him this weekend. :-/ He's not really in her life, but I'm doing it to keep the peace. I've already proposed, so now it's just in repair mode at this point because he got his dander up. Bring a golf club, just in case. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RockRaines Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 QUOTE (IlliniKrush @ Apr 8, 2013 -> 05:12 PM) I think it's respectful, not an outdated tradition. Me too, however I didnt do it. I knew that he couldnt keep the secret, so I told no one. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HuskyCaucasian Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 My wife's family is in Iowa, we lived in IL (we lived in separate housing!). We specifically went to her parents house one weekend with the intent on me asking him. I never got a moment alone with him. lol oh well. I still asked her, she said yes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chi Town Sox Posted April 9, 2013 Author Share Posted April 9, 2013 QUOTE (Joxer_Daly @ Apr 8, 2013 -> 07:06 PM) I wouldn't stress it too much, whatever you do. I didn't actually ask mine, but he was on the other side of Europe, so it was no big deal. It would never have ocurred to me to do so, to be honest. But, having seen how my Da appreciated my brother in law doing it, I'd definitely say it's a nice thing to do. But don't go mental. Just do something you'd normally do - would you go for a pint together, at all, from time to time? Goin to dinner with him, it won't be a big deal, just throwing the question out there! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve9347 Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 I called him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StrangeSox Posted April 9, 2013 Share Posted April 9, 2013 QUOTE (bmags @ Apr 8, 2013 -> 05:09 PM) While I find history of literally needing permission outdated and disgusting, I think going over to parents before a proposal to let them know you are going to marry their daughter to be very worthwhile. It will probably be one of few times you will be alone with their parents and I think is a great start to what will be a crazy time. Pretty Much the same thoughts. Although it led to a funny situation on Christmas morning when my then-fiancée assumed her dad couldn't keep her mouth shut and walked up to her mom saying "well,i guess you know about this." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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