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My wife is pregnant!


Steve9347

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QUOTE (JPN366 @ Sep 8, 2014 -> 11:34 PM)
God help you, Steve...

 

:hawk:

 

I honestly didn't think you had a d***, jokes on me.

 

You have no idea how your life is about to change, s*** I was 29 when my son was born and whoa! That was a shock to the system.

 

Honestly though, BE INVOLVED! Don't be one of those chauvinist a$$holes who thinks the woman has to do everything or whatever. I doubt you are, but just sayin'.

 

Guys, what else does he need to know? I'm so exhausted, I've had my son at home all day.

 

So many, but from my 2-3 years of experience:

 

Pregnancy:

 

1) Prepare for the mood swings and irrational emotional outbursts. The joke about pregnant woman being crazy is overplayed, but there's a little but of truth to it. Finding your pregnant wife bawling over that Sarah McLachlan animal rescue commercial or a Cheerios Mothers' Day commercial, may happen.

 

2) That said, don't treat her like she'd disabled or anything. That'll get you on the s*** list too. Be supportive.

 

3) Don't wait until the last minute to get the nursery ready. He/she may decide to come to the world a little earlier than expected.

 

 

Once the kid arrives:

 

1) Enjoy it. Every good and bad thing. Sounds crazy, and you'll hear this from everyone and you won't believe it, but time flies with kids. Even at 2 years, it seems like 2 weeks.

 

2) At some point you'll be one of those poor Asian women in awful pornos -you'll be s*** on, pissed on, spit on, puked on, booger-ed on, etc. Be prepared.

 

3) Read to your son/daughter from the day they're born. Introduce them to books even if they can't (or don't) pay attention. One day it will click, and then reading will be a great 5-10 minute bonding ritual before bed (or whenever it's needed).

 

4) I don't know if there's any truth to this medically speaking, but I'd recommend it anyway - mess with the kids hands/feet/toes when they're infants like you would with a new puppy. It's a 15 minute battle to clip my kids' nails. He hates it. It is f***ing brutal. I want to break a window every time we do it. I feel like if I had touched and caressed his feet, toes and hands more, this wouldn't happen. I hear this advice all the time for dogs and I bet it works for a kid too. Or I could be crazy. I dunno. It's worth a shot.

 

5) Kids are durable. You'll be overly sensitive to everything at first, as you should, but trust me, kids are durable.

 

6) A key one - don't buy a lot of unnecessary s***, and tell your family/friends not to get you unnecessary s***. Toys specifically. At each stage there is a max amount of toys that each kid will ever use or play with. Like 2 is probably the number. Maybe 3. Use rotations. Let the kid play with 1-2 things for a week or two, and when it gets old put them away and get another 1-2 toys. When that gets old, bring back the original ones. Rinse and repeat. They won't know the difference for a while (years). And you'll save yourself the headache of dealing with multiple loud, flashing toys at one time. That and they take up a lot of space, even in a home. This was the biggest regret I think I've had so far as a parent. We should have requested money instead of gifts. Except books. Again, you can never have enough books.

 

 

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QUOTE (Jenksismyb**** @ Sep 9, 2014 -> 12:14 PM)
6) A key one - don't buy a lot of unnecessary s***, and tell your family/friends not to get you unnecessary s***. Toys specifically. At each stage there is a max amount of toys that each kid will ever use or play with. Like 2 is probably the number. Maybe 3. Use rotations. Let the kid play with 1-2 things for a week or two, and when it gets old put them away and get another 1-2 toys. When that gets old, bring back the original ones. Rinse and repeat. They won't know the difference for a while (years). And you'll save yourself the headache of dealing with multiple loud, flashing toys at one time. That and they take up a lot of space, even in a home. This was the biggest regret I think I've had so far as a parent. We should have requested money instead of gifts. Except books. Again, you can never have enough books.

 

This applies to clothes, too.

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QUOTE (Jenksismyb**** @ Sep 9, 2014 -> 12:14 PM)
3) Read to your son/daughter from the day they're born. Introduce them to books even if they can't (or don't) pay attention. One day it will click, and then reading will be a great 5-10 minute bonding ritual before bed (or whenever it's needed).

 

This is a great one. I read to my daughter every night before bed (she's 10 months) and she definitely understands what a book is. She'll pull her books off the shelf and flip through the pages herself at this point.

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3) Read to your son/daughter from the day they're born. Introduce them to books even if they can't (or don't) pay attention. One day it will click, and then reading will be a great 5-10 minute bonding ritual before bed (or whenever it's needed).

 

Absolutely yes to this, and to add to it a bit:

 

(1) Long before they are actually able to read, but after they are mature enough to handle books without ripping them up (somewhere around 2-3 years), in addition to reading books TO them, get books into their hands and get them used to turning pages. At that point they will just be looking at pictures, but it gets them in the habit of having books in their hands.

 

(2) Expose them to vivid colors and instrumental music. Studies have shown that both of these things stimulate early brain activity. We bought the entire Baby Einstein DVD series. There are some that are appropriate to expose kids to as early as 6-9 months and there are others that hold their attention until they are 3 years old. [Our kids have outgrown them so if you don't mind buying them used, I would sell you our set pretty cheaply.]. Another good developmental visual/music tool is Baby First TV.

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QUOTE (SnB @ Sep 9, 2014 -> 12:01 PM)
This is a great one. I read to my daughter every night before bed (she's 10 months) and she definitely understands what a book is. She'll pull her books off the shelf and flip through the pages herself at this point.

Echo these sentiments. That is my job at night...to read her her daily stories. Early on they might not pay attention but just tell the story and keep telling it. Hearing people talk and communicate and seeing the adults read are all extremely important things in the development.

 

My advice is no matter how stressed the wife may get, take a few deep breaths and remember...between breast feeding and everything else..they have to do way more so do everything you can to help. My other piece of advice is don't follow the books religiously. Obviously there are things you should / shouldn't do but when it comes to sleeping and schedules and everything else, you also want to apply some common sense and realize all babies are different (this is probably more advice for your wife then for you).

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Something else my wife and I have always stressed is to not treat kids like they are stupid. When they ask questions, we try to answer them as honestly as possible, and also intelligently. Treat them like little people and build their intellectual curiosity. Stretch their minds. Today my kids are 6 and 8, and I swear it has paid off, as I can have intelligent conversations with both of them on complex and uncomfortable subjects without having to resort to things like "maybe when you are older" or "you wouldn't understand" or trying to dumb things down. It also gives them a level of self-confidence in their life, and a willingness to lead. I swear your kids are always smarter than you think they are.

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QUOTE (southsider2k5 @ Sep 9, 2014 -> 03:01 PM)
Something else my wife and I have always stressed is to not treat kids like they are stupid. When they ask questions, we try to answer them as honestly as possible, and also intelligently. Treat them like little people and build their intellectual curiosity. Stretch their minds. Today my kids are 6 and 8, and I swear it has paid off, as I can have intelligent conversations with both of them on complex and uncomfortable subjects without having to resort to things like "maybe when you are older" or "you wouldn't understand" or trying to dumb things down. It also gives them a level of self-confidence in their life, and a willingness to lead. I swear your kids are always smarter than you think they are.

 

Yeah that's a good one.

 

We constantly ask my son questions (what color is X, is Y soft or hard, what's Z's name, etc.) and have since he started saying just a few words. I think it's been huge for his development and his communication skills. It helped him understand words and concepts versus just being able to repeat them.

Edited by Jenksismybitch
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QUOTE (Jenksismyb**** @ Sep 9, 2014 -> 12:14 PM)
So many, but from my 2-3 years of experience:

 

Pregnancy:

 

1) Prepare for the mood swings and irrational emotional outbursts. The joke about pregnant woman being crazy is overplayed, but there's a little but of truth to it. Finding your pregnant wife bawling over that Sarah McLachlan animal rescue commercial or a Cheerios Mothers' Day commercial, may happen.

 

2) That said, don't treat her like she'd disabled or anything. That'll get you on the s*** list too. Be supportive.

 

3) Don't wait until the last minute to get the nursery ready. He/she may decide to come to the world a little earlier than expected.

 

 

Once the kid arrives:

 

1) Enjoy it. Every good and bad thing. Sounds crazy, and you'll hear this from everyone and you won't believe it, but time flies with kids. Even at 2 years, it seems like 2 weeks.

 

2) At some point you'll be one of those poor Asian women in awful pornos -you'll be s*** on, pissed on, spit on, puked on, booger-ed on, etc. Be prepared.

 

3) Read to your son/daughter from the day they're born. Introduce them to books even if they can't (or don't) pay attention. One day it will click, and then reading will be a great 5-10 minute bonding ritual before bed (or whenever it's needed).

 

4) I don't know if there's any truth to this medically speaking, but I'd recommend it anyway - mess with the kids hands/feet/toes when they're infants like you would with a new puppy. It's a 15 minute battle to clip my kids' nails. He hates it. It is f***ing brutal. I want to break a window every time we do it. I feel like if I had touched and caressed his feet, toes and hands more, this wouldn't happen. I hear this advice all the time for dogs and I bet it works for a kid too. Or I could be crazy. I dunno. It's worth a shot.

 

5) Kids are durable. You'll be overly sensitive to everything at first, as you should, but trust me, kids are durable.

 

6) A key one - don't buy a lot of unnecessary s***, and tell your family/friends not to get you unnecessary s***. Toys specifically. At each stage there is a max amount of toys that each kid will ever use or play with. Like 2 is probably the number. Maybe 3. Use rotations. Let the kid play with 1-2 things for a week or two, and when it gets old put them away and get another 1-2 toys. When that gets old, bring back the original ones. Rinse and repeat. They won't know the difference for a while (years). And you'll save yourself the headache of dealing with multiple loud, flashing toys at one time. That and they take up a lot of space, even in a home. This was the biggest regret I think I've had so far as a parent. We should have requested money instead of gifts. Except books. Again, you can never have enough books.

 

How is this different from any other time for a woman?

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QUOTE (Chisoxfn @ Sep 9, 2014 -> 02:51 PM)
Echo these sentiments. That is my job at night...to read her her daily stories. Early on they might not pay attention but just tell the story and keep telling it. Hearing people talk and communicate and seeing the adults read are all extremely important things in the development.

 

My advice is no matter how stressed the wife may get, take a few deep breaths and remember...between breast feeding and everything else..they have to do way more so do everything you can to help. My other piece of advice is don't follow the books religiously. Obviously there are things you should / shouldn't do but when it comes to sleeping and schedules and everything else, you also want to apply some common sense and realize all babies are different (this is probably more advice for your wife then for you).

 

While that's true for the most part, this book is the bible when it comes to baby sleeping, especially the first year. It worked like a charm for us and our friends. Read this book!

 

http://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Sleep-Habits...=dp_kinw_strp_1

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