Job Thread

[The Sir]

48 minutes ago, Jack Parkman said:

Forgive me for being especially bitter. I've dealt with all of the things you have as a child and then some. Dude I didn't have much of a childhood. I spent most of it going in and out of therapy, going to from psychiatrist to psychiatrist trying to figure out wtf was wrong, having my brain chemistry fucked with constantly going in and out of hospitals because the drugs that the gave me made things worse instead of better, there were some that made me hyper aggressive and some that made me a zombie. I've battled major depressive episodes, multiple suicide attempts, and countless other shit. All before I got to high school. So forgive me about  saying I've gone through a lot. I finally got iy shit under control, mostly because of dumb luck with meds, by my sophomore year in HS. I didn't get diagnosed with autism until shortly before my 18th birthday. I've had severe foot pain that has prevented me from holding low-level jobs. I can't stand up for more two hours without being in severe pain for a week. I'm recovering from my 2nd foot surgery as we speak. 

Every bit of work I've had to put in on adapting to the world I've done over the last 10 years or so. It's a daily struggle just existing. Don't fucking tell me I haven't gone through hell. 

I hope I can get someone to look past my issues one day, and see me for the awesome guy I know I am. The semi-arrogance and bitterness are my motivating factor. I want to prove to everyone that said I was a lost cause that I can make it in the world. I know what my responsibility is, and that is to adapt to the world around me as best as I can. I continue to learn, gain info, and fight like hell for every opportunity. And if I fail, move on and take the lessons to the next one. 

You're incredible, Jack. Does anything I say or anybody else says get through to you? I'm not here to play the Victimhood Olympics with you. I don't care. My only point is that everyone has struggles in life. You don't know what anyone else has dealt with, and despite my blurb, you don't know my entirety either. But you'd sit there and say that bolded shit, regardless. For what it's worth, I don't feel guilty saying that I've had a generally happy life thus far and see a similarly happy future for myself. My ultimate goal in life is to provide an amazing existence for myself, my wife, and most of all, my children. Being able to b**** on the internet about how dramatically traumatic it all is isn't much of a priority for me.

You come in here and act like you're this awe-inspiring genius, if only you could get over your direly lacking social skills. So I give you some genuine advice to build your charisma and, perhaps in some small way, move past these social struggles. Literally anyone could work on having a positive attitude and spending less time pushing their victim status and less time making silly, condescending assumptions about other people. I'm actually asking you to do less things and expend less energy, because if you take my advice, you'll spend less time complaining about things (maybe using that time for actual productivity). It's so fucking easy!

But nooooo, out of all the millions of people in America, you got an extra shitty hand. Many people's lives suck balls, but yours does even more so! Despite clearly identifying your problems, and being given some possible solutions, it will never be fixed at all because other people are mean and anti-meritocratic and the whole system is rigged extra good to fuck you.

So, fine, Jack. You win. Please come up to the podium and accept your Gold Medal of Endless Victimhood. I'll recall your glorious victory in these games while cruising on my yacht someday. Bravo!

[The Sir]

42 minutes ago, Jack Parkman said:

This isn't coming from my inner circle either. I don't blame you for thinking that. 

I really don't know who to trust for advice on getting along in the workplace. There is one person I trust more than anyone else. Most of the people in my "inner circle" haven't looked for jobs for years. 

After College, I went to everyone I trusted at the time for advice and tried to get as much information as I could. None of it worked for me. 

Btw, those two guys were the only ones in my group with that type of worldview. I met them through a mutual friend. That mutual friend moved away and I kept hanging out with them. To be fair, I didn't know how bad they were until 2016. Trump made them more emboldened to speak that way. It wasn't often before that and I'd call them out on it. I thought bigger picture and I never took a lot of what they said seriously. I'm a completely different person than that, and I'm sad that it came to that. It's my mistake. Like I said in that thread, I was afraid to dump them because I had a really hard time socially in my younger years. I really wish I had the courage to do so sooner. 

?

People are responsible for their own actions. I voted for him in 2016, and I will again, and somehow I've never endeavored to use racial slurs or treat anyone like shit because of their race. Your friends became and continued to be jackasses all on their own.

I bring this up mainly because it's a good lesson for you overall. Own yourself, man. The key to your future is you. You continually blame third parties for your failures and for your friends' racist idiocies, rather than placing that accountability where it belongs.

[BackDoorBreach]

7 minutes ago, The Sir said:

?

People are responsible for their own actions. I voted for him in 2016, and I will again, and somehow I've never endeavored to use racial slurs or treat anyone like shit because of their race. Your friends became and continued to be jackasses all on their own.

I bring this up mainly because it's a good lesson for you overall. Own yourself, man. The key to your future is you. You continually blame third parties for your failures and for your friends' racist idiocies, rather than placing that accountability where it belongs.

MuH TrUmp

 

Jack you need to focus on yourself man.  You can only control your own life and the decisions you make.

[The Sir]

1 hour ago, Tony said:

An no offense Jack, but based on what you’ve told us about how many struggles you had, how jaded you are, how you struggle to talk to people, along with having your two best friends be out in the open racists, I’m not sure I trust your “inner circle” to really give you the best advice or have the best world view. Calling it like I see it. 

Spot on, Tony. I almost said it when he mentioned the people he's talked to who've had terrible work experiences. Why would a high achiever with a great attitude about everything even bother talking to Jack? We all attract certain types of people, and with his attitude, I'm pretty certain Jack attracts the other Debbie downers and underachievers.

[Jack Parkman]

30 minutes ago, The Sir said:

You're incredible, Jack. Does anything I say or anybody else says get through to you? I'm not here to play the Victimhood Olympics with you. I don't care. My only point is that everyone has struggles in life. You don't know what anyone else has dealt with, and despite my blurb, you don't know my entirety either. But you'd sit there and say that bolded shit, regardless. For what it's worth, I don't feel guilty saying that I've had a generally happy life thus far and see a similarly happy future for myself. My ultimate goal in life is to provide an amazing existence for myself, my wife, and most of all, my children. Being able to b**** on the internet about how dramatically traumatic it all is isn't much of a priority for me.

You come in here and act like you're this awe-inspiring genius, if only you could get over your direly lacking social skills. So I give you some genuine advice to build your charisma and, perhaps in some small way, move past these social struggles. Literally anyone could work on having a positive attitude and spending less time pushing their victim status and less time making silly, condescending assumptions about other people. I'm actually asking you to do less things and expend less energy, because if you take my advice, you'll spend less time complaining about things (maybe using that time for actual productivity). It's so fucking easy!

But nooooo, out of all the millions of people in America, you got an extra shitty hand. Many people's lives suck balls, but yours does even more so! Despite clearly identifying your problems, and being given some possible solutions, it will never be fixed at all because other people are mean and anti-meritocratic and the whole system is rigged extra good to fuck you.

So, fine, Jack. You win. Please come up to the podium and accept your Gold Medal of Endless Victimhood. I'll recall your glorious victory in these games while cruising on my yacht someday. Bravo!

Dude, you don't fucking understand. Yes, the world is especially rigged to fuck me. If you ask any expert on autism they'll tell you that. Am I bitter and pissed about it? You bet your ass. Do I b**** about it every now and then? Absolutely. I only b**** about it when I'm super frustrated. It's therapeutic. 

 

Do I feel like a victim? Absloutely not.  Nobody designed society just to fuck me over. It's just an unfortunate byproduct. I've made it my life's work to be a self advocate and educate people about what they're missing by excluding people like myself from the workforce. I don't want others to go through the same BS  I did. Instead of sitting around and and saying woe is me I'm actively out there with others on my side trying to plead my case. It's not easy, I haven't made much progress yet, but I will never give up. I'm going to fight as long as I can. Its up to me to prove I can do it, and it's not just about me either. It's about making a path to independence for other people like me. There may come a point where if I keep fighting, I may see none of the fruits of my labor. I really don't care. If I can make one person's life better, even if it isn't my own, that's what matters. 

Edited August 12, 2019 by Jack Parkman

[Jack Parkman]

13 minutes ago, Tony said:

Man, you sure do love playing that victim card. 

Good luck.  

Idk where you get that from. Really. 

[Jack Parkman]

14 minutes ago, The Sir said:

Spot on, Tony. I almost said it when he mentioned the people he's talked to who've had terrible work experiences. Why would a high achiever with a great attitude about everything even bother talking to Jack? We all attract certain types of people, and with his attitude, I'm pretty certain Jack attracts the other Debbie downers and underachievers.

You'd be wrong. I've spoken to a number of pretty successful people who have a positive attitude about life and work. But continue to ignore that and live in your bubble where everything is fine and dandy. 

[The Sir]

13 minutes ago, Jack Parkman said:

Dude, you don't fucking understand. Yes, the world is especially rigged to fuck me. If you ask any expert on autism they'll tell you that. Am I bitter and pissed about it? You bet your ass. Do I b**** about it every now and then? Absolutely. I only b**** about it when I'm super frustrated. It's therapeutic. 

 

Do I feel like a victim? Absloutely not. I'm collateral damage. Nobody designed society just to fuck me over. It's just an unfortunate byproduct. I've made it my life's work to be a self advocate and educate people about what they're missing by excluding people like myself from the workforce. I don't want others to go through the same BS  I did. Instead of sitting around and and saying woe is me I'm actively out there with others on my side trying to plead my case. It's not easy, I haven't made much progress yet, but I will never give up. I'm going to fight as long as I can. Its up to me to prove I can do it, and it's not just about me either. It's about making a path to independence for other people like me. There may come a point where if I keep fighting, I may see none of the fruits of my labor. I really don't care. If I can make one person's life better, even if it isn't my own, that's what matters. 

You actually said both of those things, within two lines of each other. While in the middle denying that you are in any way a victim. Seriously.

I can't speak for anyone else, but I would never choose to exclude or discriminate against people with autism. In five years, I plan to be creating several blue-collar jobs. I'd like to be able to pay decently with attractive benefits and they're not going to require too much social interaction, so they might be perfect for somebody with autism. I would readily consider and, if I believe them to be the best candidate, hire a person with autism.

But I wouldn't hire you. And hopefully I wouldn't hire someone like you, solely in reference to your attitude. If I came into oversight of someone like you, I wouldn't promote you and I'd probably wonder what I'd have to do to be rid of you.

You have adopted an insanely poisonous attitude, and you justify it by acting like some sort of martyr in a fight against an evil that doesn't exist. Nobody discriminates against people with autism. People discriminate against you. The problem is you.

You want to make one person's life better? Adjust your attitude and have it be your own.

[Jack Parkman]

1 minute ago, Tony said:

Obviously, that’s the root of the problem. You don’t see it. 

It's really not anybody's fault. I had to fuck up and make mistakes in order to grow enough to get to this point in my life. I made a metric shit ton of mistakes. I'd be the first to admit that. When I got out of college I was nowhere near ready to hold a job. I didn't know that then, but I do now. I probably would have been better off if I went to work right out of HS and went back to school later as a more mature person. That shit doesn't matter anymore. What matters is what I can do now, in the situation I'm in now. How can I move forward from here? That's the question. It's up to me to find out. 

[The Sir]

11 minutes ago, Jack Parkman said:

You'd be wrong. I've spoken to a number of pretty successful people who have a positive attitude about life and work. But continue to ignore that and live in your bubble where everything is fine and dandy. 

Uh huh. Right.

Just so we're perfectly clear, I feel no animosity towards you at all. To the limited extent that we "know" each other, I actually like you and wish you the best. I offer advice because I genuinely believe it to be easy to implement and capable of improving your circumstances. If you ignore it, it's your choice. It ultimately won't affect me that deeply if the rest of your life is miserable. I simply think that a mindset adjustment would help greatly.

The ball is in your court.

[Jack Parkman]

34 minutes ago, The Sir said:

You actually said both of those things, within two lines of each other. While in the middle denying that you are in any way a victim. Seriously.

I can't speak for anyone else, but I would never choose to exclude or discriminate against people with autism. In five years, I plan to be creating several blue-collar jobs. I'd like to be able to pay decently with attractive benefits and they're not going to require too much social interaction, so they might be perfect for somebody with autism. I would readily consider and, if I believe them to be the best candidate, hire a person with autism.

But I wouldn't hire you. And hopefully I wouldn't hire someone like you, solely in reference to your attitude. If I came into oversight of someone like you, I wouldn't promote you and I'd probably wonder what I'd have to do to be rid of you.

You have adopted an insanely poisonous attitude, and you justify it by acting like some sort of martyr in a fight against an evil that doesn't exist. Nobody discriminates against people with autism. People discriminate against you. The problem is you.

You want to make one person's life better? Adjust your attitude and have it be your own.

I suggest you educate yourself on autism before you make that statement. If you ask any expert on the subject they will tell you that the job search process exacerbates all of an autistic individual's weaknesses and mitigates their strengths.

The huge issue most people  on the spectrum have is never being given an opportunity. These are facts. I just want an opportunity to prove myself, in a position in which I actually have the opportunity to succeed. 

Edited August 12, 2019 by Jack Parkman

[The Sir]

1 minute ago, Jack Parkman said:

I suggest you educate yourself on autism before you make that statement. If you ask any expert on the subject they will tell you that the job search process exacerbates all of an autistic individual's weaknesses and mitigates their strengths. The huge issue most people have is never being given an opportunity. These are facts. I just want an opportunity to prove myself. That's all I ask for. 

I’m not going to research your point for you. If you want to link to something scientific and insightful, I’ll read it (tomorrow).

Good night.

[greg775]

5 hours ago, The Sir said:

Geez. First off, I don't think you know what living in a totalitarian dictatorship is like if you think not being praised at work is at all analogous.

Second, a job is a transaction. Your employer gives you a paycheck in exchange for work. If you do well, they give you a bigger paycheck! Soxfan2014 is right in his reply that there is a sense of entitlement in the younger generation. Nobody's going to give or even owes you mad props just because you exist and show up every day.

This is a really dopey argument. How exactly do you want them to take your career seriously? You know who needs to take your career seriously? You. Nobody else. A company isn't a charity- it exists for some specific purpose. If you don't help to accomplish that purpose, then you ARE disposable.

I do think managers that never praise are so transparent. They are just trying to avoid getting screamed at and fired by the CEOs or the people right above them. They lay it on the little guys and gals, tear into them. I still say a good boss is one who appreciates an employee going above and beyond. I've seen too many examples of bosses taking their GOOD people for granted. Guess what? Those good people who have assholes for bosses start looking after 8 months and leave after a year. Life's too short to work for jerks. And I'm talking about excellent workers here; ones most companies would like to keep around if they are smart. They should get some praise along with $$ once in a while.

Edited August 12, 2019 by greg775

[Jack Parkman]

40 minutes ago, The Sir said:

I’m not going to research your point for you. If you want to link to something scientific and insightful, I’ll read it (tomorrow).

Good night.

If I can find something that might help you understand, sure. I'll link it. 

When I said that the world is rigged against me, but that nobody did it on purpose I meant that. Nobody knew about autism without an ID until 30 years ago or so. It wasn't a widely accepted diagnosis until about 20 years ago. What I meant is that the world is designed for people who aren't socially blind. Because I have this issue, there is an unintentional bias that exists. If you assume me to be neurotypical in a job interview, you'd think I was really odd, at the very least, when I'm putting my best foot forward.

There are so many little social protocols to keep straight. Body language, eye contact (believe me this is hard to get right) , and that doesn't even get to the questions themselves. For example, I was nervous in interviews and the only way I could answer questions was with my arms crossed. It made me more comfortable, but NTs read it like I had something to hide. Not my intention at all. Sometimes there are just so many things that you're trying to remember in an interview that your anxiety shuts down your brain. I've had that happen more times than you can imagine. It just overwhelms you. 

Edited August 12, 2019 by Jack Parkman

[The Sir]

5 hours ago, greg775 said:

I do think managers that never praise are so transparent. They are just trying to avoid getting screamed at and fired by the CEOs or the people right above them. They lay it on the little guys and gals, tear into them. I still say a good boss is one who appreciates an employee going above and beyond. I've seen too many examples of bosses taking their GOOD people for granted. Guess what? Those good people who have assholes for bosses start looking after 8 months and leave after a year. Life's too short to work for jerks. And I'm talking about excellent workers here; ones most companies would like to keep around if they are smart. They should get some praise along with $$ once in a while.

I’ll admit that the military has shaped my views on this. In the service, we all know and even joke about the fact that praise is unlikely and as long as you’re not getting your ass chewed off, you’re probably doing alright. Hell, even if you’re getting chewed out, you’re probably still doing OK. Individual superiors may vary in their approach to things.

[The Sir]

7 hours ago, Jack Parkman said:

If I can find something that might help you understand, sure. I'll link it. 

When I said that the world is rigged against me, but that nobody did it on purpose I meant that. Nobody knew about autism without an ID until 30 years ago or so. It wasn't a widely accepted diagnosis until about 20 years ago. What I meant is that the world is designed for people who aren't socially blind. Because I have this issue, there is an unintentional bias that exists. If you assume me to be neurotypical in a job interview, you'd think I was really odd, at the very least, when I'm putting my best foot forward.

There are so many little social protocols to keep straight. Body language, eye contact (believe me this is hard to get right) , and that doesn't even get to the questions themselves. For example, I was nervous in interviews and the only way I could answer questions was with my arms crossed. It made me more comfortable, but NTs read it like I had something to hide. Not my intention at all. Sometimes there are just so many things that you're trying to remember in an interview that your anxiety shuts down your brain. I've had that happen more times than you can imagine. It just overwhelms you. 

This is actually a respectable post.

Now, this is still going to rule out some jobs for you and it's not necessarily unintentional bias. If I manage a bank, do you think I want a guy who gets so nervous in social situations that the only bearable position is to stand there with his arms crossed? You could explain that to me in an interview and I'd be understanding, but you couldn't explain it to every single customer you deal with. And this would develop the wrong reputation for my branch, so I'd probably look elsewhere.

There are jobs that are likely off limits to me, even. I'd love to do something like air traffic control, and I think my mind is organized and methodical enough to be good at it. But the psych standards are high- I refuse to identify myself as a depressive, but I do have that history. Would I plow a plane full of passengers into the ground because I'm having a bad day? Of course not. I'm not totally fucking insane. And I even got over that shit. But they still likely wouldn't call me for that job. Them's the rules.

It doesn't mean the world is rigged against me or built to exclude me or that meritocracy is dead. There are still good jobs out there for me; I just have to find them (and I have). There are also good jobs out there for you. It might not be exactly what you want, but you can find ways to make good money and a good living. The biggest thing is attitude. I would get nowhere by moping about my inability to become an ATC and thinking that the world was set against me. I just had to smile, suck it up, and move on. You would do well to do the same.

[Jack Parkman]

52 minutes ago, The Sir said:

This is actually a respectable post.

Now, this is still going to rule out some jobs for you and it's not necessarily unintentional bias. If I manage a bank, do you think I want a guy who gets so nervous in social situations that the only bearable position is to stand there with his arms crossed? You could explain that to me in an interview and I'd be understanding, but you couldn't explain it to every single customer you deal with. And this would develop the wrong reputation for my branch, so I'd probably look elsewhere.

There are jobs that are likely off limits to me, even. I'd love to do something like air traffic control, and I think my mind is organized and methodical enough to be good at it. But the psych standards are high- I refuse to identify myself as a depressive, but I do have that history. Would I plow a plane full of passengers into the ground because I'm having a bad day? Of course not. I'm not totally fucking insane. And I even got over that shit. But they still likely wouldn't call me for that job. Them's the rules.

It doesn't mean the world is rigged against me or built to exclude me or that meritocracy is dead. There are still good jobs out there for me; I just have to find them (and I have). There are also good jobs out there for you. It might not be exactly what you want, but you can find ways to make good money and a good living. The biggest thing is attitude. I would get nowhere by moping about my inability to become an ATC and thinking that the world was set against me. I just had to smile, suck it up, and move on. You would do well to do the same.

I'm frustrated because I spent thousands of dollars on something I thought I could do, and I should be able to do,  but nobody was ever willing to give me a chance. I've begrudgingly accepted that, and I have some ideas for something else to do for a career. There just aren't a lot of jobs out there that are a good fit for me. I'd be the first to tell you that. It makes it that much harder. 

The huge issue is sometimes I don't even know that I'm doing something inappropriate. People have to tell me. I've gained enough knowledge that I'm not entirely socially blind, but I still don't pick up body language or social cues.Everything is in a library in my head and I have to go look it up whenever I'm in a situation. I still struggle with interrupting people. To this day. I still struggle with the volume of my voice. I'm really loud. I can catch myself interrupting people every now and then but it's really  hard. The other thing is that as strange as it sounds I appreciate people being blunt and direct with me instead of dropping hints. If you drop hints, I'll never get them. 

I'm not moping or anything like that, I'm lashing out on a forum out of frustration. Its more like WTF more do I have to do to get a shot? Did I used to have a bit of an attitude problem, sure. It's not like that anymore. If thinking that I should have enough value as a human being to be paid enough to support myself financially is having an attitude problem, I'm guilty as charged. 

On the other subject, I don't think meritocracy is dead, I think that it never existed. It's something that rich people made up to help them sleep better at night. 

Edited August 12, 2019 by Jack Parkman

[The Sir]

21 minutes ago, Jack Parkman said:

I'm frustrated because I spent thousands of dollars on something I thought I could do, and I should be able to do,  but nobody was ever willing to give me a chance. I've begrudgingly accepted that, and I have some ideas for something else to do for a career. There just aren't a lot of jobs out there that are a good fit for me. I'd be the first to tell you that. It makes it that much harder. 

The huge issue is sometimes I don't even know that I'm doing something inappropriate. People have to tell me. I've gained enough knowledge that I'm not entirely socially blind, but I still don't pick up body language or social cues.Everything is in a library in my head and I have to go look it up whenever I'm in a situation. I still struggle with interrupting people. To this day. I still struggle with the volume of my voice. I'm really loud. I can catch myself interrupting people every now and then but it's really  hard. The other thing is that as strange as it sounds I appreciate people being blunt and direct with me instead of dropping hints. If you drop hints, I'll never get them. 

I'm not moping or anything like that, I'm lashing out on a forum out of frustration. Its more like WTF more do I have to do to get a shot? Did I used to have a bit of an attitude problem, sure. It's not like that anymore. If thinking that I should have enough value as a human being to be paid enough to support myself financially is having an attitude problem, I'm guilty as charged. 

On the other subject, I don't think meritocracy is dead, I think that it never existed. It's something that rich people made up to help them sleep better at night. 

I earned a master's that qualified me for a higher paying position but I have not yet been hired into one of those positions. Should I assume that nobody is willing to give me a chance or that meritocracy never existed? I suppose I could but it wouldn't do me any good. Focus on controlling what you can control.

I don't think I or the other people in this thread have been dropping hints. Me, BDB, Tony, we've been pretty damn direct. Don't gloat about your intellect. Don't whine about your situation. Don't play the victim card. Take responsibility for your actions, your failures, your everything- own your life. Focus on you. You can't control if some douchebag likes or doesn't like people with autism, but you can control whether you are a likable human being or not. We are witnessing things that you do and giving you friendly advice on how to adjust it. In your own words, you are "annoying". Well, I see that, and if you had any interest in listening, I see objective ways that you can reduce that particular trait. Take it or leave it, but don't act like these things persist just because nobody's direct enough with you. We're being direct with you.

This is the internet and maybe that means we don't really know you. Maybe this is a persona you put on in a forum to vent, therapeutically. Personally, I'm hard pressed to envision a person coming here with as staunch and hard-line viewpoints as you have, and the attitude you have, and having some completely different personality/attitude in the "real world". I'd be shocked if you didn't have a reputation in your workplace as bitter and a bit of a whiner. It might be that nobody confronts you about it, but I strongly suspect they feel it and it affects your career path. Maybe I'm wrong.

[Jack Parkman]

38 minutes ago, The Sir said:

I earned a master's that qualified me for a higher paying position but I have not yet been hired into one of those positions. Should I assume that nobody is willing to give me a chance or that meritocracy never existed? I suppose I could but it wouldn't do me any good. Focus on controlling what you can control.

I don't think I or the other people in this thread have been dropping hints. Me, BDB, Tony, we've been pretty damn direct. Don't gloat about your intellect. Don't whine about your situation. Don't play the victim card. Take responsibility for your actions, your failures, your everything- own your life. Focus on you. You can't control if some douchebag likes or doesn't like people with autism, but you can control whether you are a likable human being or not. We are witnessing things that you do and giving you friendly advice on how to adjust it. In your own words, you are "annoying". Well, I see that, and if you had any interest in listening, I see objective ways that you can reduce that particular trait. Take it or leave it, but don't act like these things persist just because nobody's direct enough with you. We're being direct with you.

This is the internet and maybe that means we don't really know you. Maybe this is a persona you put on in a forum to vent, therapeutically. Personally, I'm hard pressed to envision a person coming here with as staunch and hard-line viewpoints as you have, and the attitude you have, and having some completely different personality/attitude in the "real world". I'd be shocked if you didn't have a reputation in your workplace as bitter and a bit of a whiner. It might be that nobody confronts you about it, but I strongly suspect they feel it and it affects your career path. Maybe I'm wrong.

I've given you plenty of examples of taking responsibility for myself. I wasn't even talking about me before, but somehow this got turned into that. I was talking about larger societal issues. Its fine if you accept that. I don't.

A couple years ago, what you said was accurate. It isn't anymore. I've come to realize that I can only control what's under my control. It's my job to adapt to the world to the best of my ability, and that nobody really gives a flying fuck about autistic people. They care whether or not I can do the job. My frustration comes from know that I can do a bunch of jobs, but not being able to convey it. I used to see all of my negative attributes and none of the positives. The only thing that I don't know how to overcome is my age and lack of work experience combo. I'm concerned that I won't even get a damn interview anymore. It can be explained by my autism. I had nowhere close to the emotional maturity and understanding of workplace protocol to hold a job a few years ago. I still struggle with some of this stuff, but I can usually think my way through it. I'm incredibly self conscious about a lot of things, because I have to be. 

I take plenty of responsibility for my mistakes. A lot of them I chalk up to social ignorance. It is what it is. The past doesn't matter, the only thing that matters is moving forward. I know now that I wasn't ready for a real job in my 20s. I've accepted that and I've moved on. I know that I have a better attitude now. 

The only reason I consider myself annoying and grating is because at the beginning of a relationship, whether as a friendship or a romantic one, I struggle to gauge interest in the other person. It takes time for me to understand what is and isn't acceptable to them. 

Once people get to know me, I'm genuinely likeable. The beginning is hard, and that's why I'm like that. 

Edited August 12, 2019 by Jack Parkman

[The Sir]

56 minutes ago, Jack Parkman said:

A couple years ago, what you said was accurate. It isn't anymore. I've come to realize that I can only control what's under my control. It's my job to adapt to the world to the best of my ability, and that nobody really gives a flying fuck about autistic people.

Frankly, your behavior in this thread, and pretty much everywhere else I've interacted with you, suggests it is accurate. Take it for what it's worth.

 

[Jack Parkman]

5 hours ago, The Sir said:

Frankly, your behavior in this thread, and pretty much everywhere else I've interacted with you, suggests it is accurate. Take it for what it's worth.

 

Eh, you can believe that if you want. Am I bitter? Absolutely. I fell like I've been conned. I don't consider myself a victim of anything other that shitty timing. I don't really blame anyone for what happened. It just did. It's my job to move forward from here. I'm not trying to play the victim card. I'm just bitter. I'm not happy about what happened, and I felt like I didn't have all of the information necessary to make an informed decision as a young man. When I did gain access to the information, I was pretty upset. For a long time. Like I've said, I've decided to move on and make the best out of my current situation. 

The bitter/anger stuff is accurate. But it's nobody's fault. It's a constant struggle to put that behind me and move forward. Occasionally, I get mad and lash out. So be it. I have a lot of time on my hands right now and I'm getting stuck in my head a bit. I really don't want to rehash old wounds anymore. 

Everyone needs to take a look in the mirror and examine themselves. We have a huge cultural problem here. Apparently it's too much to ask to acknowledge that cultural biases exist and to expect to actively try to change them. Instead, let's shift the blame onto the individuals that have to deal with the biases. Maybe I don't have the attitude problem. Maybe YOU do. Let's perpetuate cultural biases indefinitely!  A true meritocracy only exists in the absence of bias. Because human nature involves biases, a meritocracy does not and never will exist. Our goal should be to get as close as possible. But go on living in fantasy land. Whatever makes you sleep at night. 

I'm done talking about this. I've been pretty open for a while on here about my situation and I no longer feel comfortable doing so. Congratulations. 

Edited August 12, 2019 by Jack Parkman

[Jack Parkman]

18 hours ago, The Sir said:

You're incredible, Jack. Does anything I say or anybody else says get through to you? I'm not here to play the Victimhood Olympics with you. I don't care. My only point is that everyone has struggles in life. You don't know what anyone else has dealt with, and despite my blurb, you don't know my entirety either. But you'd sit there and say that bolded shit, regardless. For what it's worth, I don't feel guilty saying that I've had a generally happy life thus far and see a similarly happy future for myself. My ultimate goal in life is to provide an amazing existence for myself, my wife, and most of all, my children. Being able to b**** on the internet about how dramatically traumatic it all is isn't much of a priority for me.

You come in here and act like you're this awe-inspiring genius, if only you could get over your direly lacking social skills. So I give you some genuine advice to build your charisma and, perhaps in some small way, move past these social struggles. Literally anyone could work on having a positive attitude and spending less time pushing their victim status and less time making silly, condescending assumptions about other people. I'm actually asking you to do less things and expend less energy, because if you take my advice, you'll spend less time complaining about things (maybe using that time for actual productivity). It's so fucking easy!

But nooooo, out of all the millions of people in America, you got an extra shitty hand. Many people's lives suck balls, but yours does even more so! Despite clearly identifying your problems, and being given some possible solutions, it will never be fixed at all because other people are mean and anti-meritocratic and the whole system is rigged extra good to fuck you.

So, fine, Jack. You win. Please come up to the podium and accept your Gold Medal of Endless Victimhood. I'll recall your glorious victory in these games while cruising on my yacht someday. Bravo!

Way to completely miss the fucking point. I shared all of that not to gain sympathy, but to say that I've overcome all of this shit, got a BS in Chemical engineering from a top tech school, and yet, none of it matters. Nobody cares. My backstory means nothing, my background means nothing. Nothing has value to anyone.

Edited August 12, 2019 by Jack Parkman

[The Sir]

17 minutes ago, Jack Parkman said:

Way to completely miss the fucking point. I shared all of that not to gain sympathy, but to say that I've overcome all of this shit, got a BS in Chemical engineering from a top tech school, and yet, none of it matters. Nobody cares. My backstory means nothing, my background means nothing. Nothing has value to anyone.

I didn't miss the point. You talk about needing other people to be blunt and direct, but if what you just said was the actual point, it was hidden far between the lines. In your original post you literally said, "don't fucking tell me I haven't been through hell". You also said you've faced what I have and then some (pretty obnoxious to assume what other people have done and dealt with in their lives). All because I pointed out that everyone has struggles. The entire point of your original post was that you've had a rough go of it. And the other posters in the thread have made mention of your love of the victim card- so I'm not imagining things. If you can't see how toxic that is for you, then I don't know what to tell you.

[Soxbadger]

20 minutes ago, Jack Parkman said:

Way to completely miss the fucking point. I shared all of that not to gain sympathy, but to say that I've overcome all of this shit, got a BS in Chemical engineering from a top tech school, and yet, none of it matters. Nobody cares. My backstory means nothing, my background means nothing. Nothing has value to anyone.

Have you ever considered starting some sort of company that hires people with similar issues as yours? Sometimes you have to make your own opportunities. And I assume that there are many other people like you, who just need some help to be able to be valuable to companies.

[Chicago White Sox]

34 minutes ago, Jack Parkman said:

Way to completely miss the fucking point. I shared all of that not to gain sympathy, but to say that I've overcome all of this shit, got a BS in Chemical engineering from a top tech school, and yet, none of it matters. Nobody cares. My backstory means nothing, my background means nothing. Nothing has value to anyone.

Jack - Have you tried networking with anyone in the Chemical Engineering field?  Have you looked at unpaid internships, if those exist?  You’ve got to really think outside of the box, because no one is going to hand you a job when you’re in your mid 30’s with a complete lack of real job experience.