kevo880 Posted December 8, 2015 Share Posted December 8, 2015 I saw Jenks posted in the catch all that they are expecting their second child. Congrats by the way! My wife and I decided a couple weeks ago to officially do away with birth control and start trying for our first child. Since many of you have young children of your own and I'm sure there is more than one person on here with a pregnant spouse, I thought I would get a thread going on any tips/advice that you have to those of us getting ready for parenthood. Specifically for me and my wife, I know alcohol consumption by me is going to be a touchy subject throughout her pregnancy. I wouldn't consider either of us heavy drinkers, but if we are out in a social setting then there is usually alcohol being consumed. She was pregnant a couple of years ago, but was lost to a miscarriage, but during those 12 weeks she hated if I had a beer when she couldn't. Obviously if I do drink while she is pregnant I will use my head and not rub it in her face, but I was curious is this a common thing for an expectant mother to make a big deal about. Another situation that I don't know how we are going to play off is when we are with my family or her family and she or both of us aren't drinking like we normally would. There's no doubt we are going to get asked if she is pregnant, but after already having a miscarriage in the past we prefer to wait until further along in the pregnancy to tell people. Any helpful tips here other than just saying we are taking a break from drinking or on a diet where we can't drink alcohol etc? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RockRaines Posted December 8, 2015 Share Posted December 8, 2015 Oh man I went on a few month long bender when my wife was pregnant, it was definitely a bout of contention. I would stumble in at 4am and I knew I was in deep s*** the next day. Dont be me, be more considerate. But of course when the baby is born your partying is going to slow way down until you find good babysitters. So you still need to be up front that you are getting it out of your system for awhile. Dieting is tough, your wife wants to eat and so will you, I gained about 15 pounds from pizza and the winter weather. Try your best to keep up healthy dieting and also working out, it will make both of you happier. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevo880 Posted December 8, 2015 Author Share Posted December 8, 2015 QUOTE (RockRaines @ Dec 8, 2015 -> 02:41 PM) Oh man I went on a few month long bender when my wife was pregnant, it was definitely a bout of contention. I would stumble in at 4am and I knew I was in deep s*** the next day. Dont be me, be more considerate. But of course when the baby is born your partying is going to slow way down until you find good babysitters. So you still need to be up front that you are getting it out of your system for awhile. Dieting is tough, your wife wants to eat and so will you, I gained about 15 pounds from pizza and the winter weather. Try your best to keep up healthy dieting and also working out, it will make both of you happier. My wife is a workout machine and health freak for the last 6 months or so. I wish I could get on board. I don't eat terribly, but for some reason just cannot get myself to get in the habit of going to the gym. I want to, the desire just isn't strong enough though! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bmags Posted December 8, 2015 Share Posted December 8, 2015 Also been trying for a year with 3 miscarriages, sucks to go through. 2 of em were very early and probably wouldn't have known if not for tracking. Also had trouble with the not wanting to tell people until 12 weeks, but the last one we just didn't drink and didn't care if people asked. After having some trouble, its amazing the amount of people who have the same deal. Sucks to lose the big reveal, but it relieved a lot of stress to just be like "yes, we're trying, not taking any chances". Also was a lot easier on the wife just telling her mom and sister and not needing to worry about secrecy and also having someone to talk to if anything went wrong. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevo880 Posted December 8, 2015 Author Share Posted December 8, 2015 QUOTE (bmags @ Dec 8, 2015 -> 04:00 PM) Also been trying for a year with 3 miscarriages, sucks to go through. 2 of em were very early and probably wouldn't have known if not for tracking. Also had trouble with the not wanting to tell people until 12 weeks, but the last one we just didn't drink and didn't care if people asked. After having some trouble, its amazing the amount of people who have the same deal. Sucks to lose the big reveal, but it relieved a lot of stress to just be like "yes, we're trying, not taking any chances". Also was a lot easier on the wife just telling her mom and sister and not needing to worry about secrecy and also having someone to talk to if anything went wrong. Sorry to hear that bmags. That's actually really smart to just admit that you are trying. Even if/when she does get pregnant we can just keep playing it off like we are just trying then the reveal is still kind of a surprise when you tell them you are like 4 months along already. Most of the family close to us knows we plan on starting to try sometime in the near future anyways. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StrangeSox Posted December 8, 2015 Share Posted December 8, 2015 QUOTE (bmags @ Dec 8, 2015 -> 03:00 PM) Also been trying for a year with 3 miscarriages, sucks to go through. 2 of em were very early and probably wouldn't have known if not for tracking. Also had trouble with the not wanting to tell people until 12 weeks, but the last one we just didn't drink and didn't care if people asked. After having some trouble, its amazing the amount of people who have the same deal. Sucks to lose the big reveal, but it relieved a lot of stress to just be like "yes, we're trying, not taking any chances". Also was a lot easier on the wife just telling her mom and sister and not needing to worry about secrecy and also having someone to talk to if anything went wrong. Sorry to hear that. One of our friends have been going through that recently. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bmags Posted December 8, 2015 Share Posted December 8, 2015 Didn't mean to take over. It sucks, but when we began being more open about that, we suddenly found how common it is. From in our family to friends. It's a part of life, unfortunately, but it's a taboo and it can feel rough when you think it's this huge rare personal issue. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenksismyhero Posted December 8, 2015 Share Posted December 8, 2015 QUOTE (RockRaines @ Dec 8, 2015 -> 02:41 PM) Oh man I went on a few month long bender when my wife was pregnant, it was definitely a bout of contention. I would stumble in at 4am and I knew I was in deep s*** the next day. Dont be me, be more considerate. But of course when the baby is born your partying is going to slow way down until you find good babysitters. So you still need to be up front that you are getting it out of your system for awhile. Dieting is tough, your wife wants to eat and so will you, I gained about 15 pounds from pizza and the winter weather. Try your best to keep up healthy dieting and also working out, it will make both of you happier. Funny you say this, i'm sort of in the midst of this now. My wife's 2nd pregnancy has been way worse. Her first pregnancy was a breeze, nothing really made her sick or nauseous, but this 2nd one is the complete opposite. She went about 3 weeks eating nothing but ice cream and oatmeal. And then when she finally starting eating it was nothing but sweets (pies/cakes) and quick stuff (pizza, mac n cheese, etc) While I've been making my own things, it's tough to do that EVERY meal. Re the drinking, that was pretty rough the first time around. We're not heavy drinkers, but every Friday we would grab Mexican at a local place and usually get a pitcher of margaritas. We also were members of a local wine club. I'm forbidden to drink any of the wine and if I make a drink at home she occasionally gives me the stink eye. But all and all I just don't flaunt it and it's fine. She hasn't really missed it this time around given that she feels like booting most of the day, but the first pregnancy I think it took her some time to get over it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shipps Posted December 8, 2015 Share Posted December 8, 2015 QUOTE (bmags @ Dec 8, 2015 -> 03:00 PM) Also been trying for a year with 3 miscarriages, sucks to go through. 2 of em were very early and probably wouldn't have known if not for tracking. Also had trouble with the not wanting to tell people until 12 weeks, but the last one we just didn't drink and didn't care if people asked. After having some trouble, its amazing the amount of people who have the same deal. Sucks to lose the big reveal, but it relieved a lot of stress to just be like "yes, we're trying, not taking any chances". Also was a lot easier on the wife just telling her mom and sister and not needing to worry about secrecy and also having someone to talk to if anything went wrong. I remember my mom going through this when I was a kid and it was really rough on all of us. It actually had me extremely paranoid when my wife was pregnant with our kids. We were at the hospital a lot for false alarms because the second she was concerned about something I was like lets go to the hospital. I hope it all works out for you guys soon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenksismyhero Posted December 8, 2015 Share Posted December 8, 2015 QUOTE (bmags @ Dec 8, 2015 -> 03:19 PM) Didn't mean to take over. It sucks, but when we began being more open about that, we suddenly found how common it is. From in our family to friends. It's a part of life, unfortunately, but it's a taboo and it can feel rough when you think it's this huge rare personal issue. Yeah man sorry to hear about that. We've been lucky with that stuff but had a scare a few weeks ago. You feel so helpless. I do think people understand. It's not like anyone will judge you guys for it. I'm not sure why we can't be more open about it. I think it probably started because women felt responsible or inadequate in some way (which obviously has nothing to do with it), and then you might have to tell 20-30-100 people you're no longer pregnant. Just easier to not let anyone know until the risk is really, really low. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevo880 Posted December 8, 2015 Author Share Posted December 8, 2015 (edited) QUOTE (bmags @ Dec 8, 2015 -> 04:19 PM) Didn't mean to take over. It sucks, but when we began being more open about that, we suddenly found how common it is. From in our family to friends. It's a part of life, unfortunately, but it's a taboo and it can feel rough when you think it's this huge rare personal issue. Not at all, that's what the thread is for. When we had our miscarriage I really liked the way the Dr. put it. He went through everything that has to happen for a woman to get pregnant and have a child and that it should be viewed as a blessing when everything actually does align that way. Not sure how accurate this number is but he said between 1/3 and 1/5 of all pregnancies end in a miscarriage. Very very common. We had a ton of family and friends tell us they had miscarriages as well throughout the years. Edited December 8, 2015 by kevo880 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bmags Posted March 17, 2016 Share Posted March 17, 2016 Hey, wanted to update this. We hit 12 weeks today. Going to be a dad Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigHurt3515 Posted March 17, 2016 Share Posted March 17, 2016 QUOTE (bmags @ Mar 16, 2016 -> 11:07 PM) Hey, wanted to update this. We hit 12 weeks today. Going to be a dad Congrats to you two! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quin Posted March 17, 2016 Share Posted March 17, 2016 QUOTE (bmags @ Mar 16, 2016 -> 11:07 PM) Hey, wanted to update this. We hit 12 weeks today. Going to be a dad Woo! Congrats bmags! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StrangeSox Posted March 17, 2016 Share Posted March 17, 2016 Congrats! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve9347 Posted March 17, 2016 Share Posted March 17, 2016 QUOTE (kevo880 @ Dec 8, 2015 -> 02:47 PM) My wife is a workout machine and health freak for the last 6 months or so. I wish I could get on board. I don't eat terribly, but for some reason just cannot get myself to get in the habit of going to the gym. I want to, the desire just isn't strong enough though! Sounds like my wife. The pregnancy for her was amazing. She kept active - only gained 15lbs. Postpartum is something to be careful with... make sure you support her. I took my wife's attitude toward me at surface level and didn't realize she was dealing with some very serious thoughts until way too late. In the end, it all worked out, but just make sure you support her. Also, don't make beer a thing. If it bothers her, then just don't drink. It's not the end of the world. Oh and obviously "trying" is awesome. The adjustment the first few months after you have a baby ain't easy, but then it's a blast. Best thing you'll ever do. Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve9347 Posted March 17, 2016 Share Posted March 17, 2016 QUOTE (bmags @ Mar 16, 2016 -> 10:07 PM) Hey, wanted to update this. We hit 12 weeks today. Going to be a dad Congrats! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RockRaines Posted March 17, 2016 Share Posted March 17, 2016 My kid turned 2 yesterday. It may be weird to have a newborn at first but it gets better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bmags Posted March 17, 2016 Share Posted March 17, 2016 Thanks All, very excited. Should pop out in late September. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
southsider2k5 Posted March 17, 2016 Share Posted March 17, 2016 QUOTE (bmags @ Mar 16, 2016 -> 11:07 PM) Hey, wanted to update this. We hit 12 weeks today. Going to be a dad Awesome Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shipps Posted March 17, 2016 Share Posted March 17, 2016 congrats bmags! I swear I got goosebumps when I read that and I dont even know you dude! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bmags Posted March 17, 2016 Share Posted March 17, 2016 But we are a part of the moderator brotherhood Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenksismyhero Posted March 17, 2016 Share Posted March 17, 2016 QUOTE (bmags @ Mar 17, 2016 -> 08:58 AM) Thanks All, very excited. Should pop out in late September. Lol, rule #1, don't say stuff like this in front of your wife Congrats! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamshack Posted March 17, 2016 Share Posted March 17, 2016 Congrats Bmags! My son is almost 9 months old now...there's nothing like it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fathom Posted March 17, 2016 Share Posted March 17, 2016 QUOTE (iamshack @ Mar 17, 2016 -> 03:29 PM) Congrats Bmags! My son is almost 9 months old now...there's nothing like it. Enjoy the last few months before he's running away from you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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