Educating Your Children

[NorthSideSox72]

So this is an interesting topic with my wife and I expecting #2. We're debating whether to do more daycare or find a nanny. Our son is 3.5. He's been in a daycare with a good curriculum since he was old enough to go. It's a structured daycare with a class schedule, even when they were infants, and it's not cheap. My son's 3 year old room is about $1,300/month. The newborn will be closer to $1,800. Combined that's a decent vacation home.

 

Since I like to save money wherever possible, I've been trying to talk my wife into a nanny. It would probably be cheaper and more convenient, especially when the 3.5 year old starts school and gets into more outdoor activities (all of which start at 3 or 4pm in the afternoon....where do these parents work??) But we really like the structure that our daycare provides, as well as the HUGE social competent. We have 7 kids in our group of friends. 2 stay at home with their mom or in-laws and it's readily apparent. Way behind in language and don't really play well in social groups. They're not dumb kids, they're just behind compared to the others. Nanny's/parents/in-laws have to be REALLY structured and have lesson plans and all that I think to get to the same level.

 

But the question is, how much is that worth? If by 5-6 years old, they've caught up and they're all basically on the same level, that's a lot of money on school that could be spent elsewhere. My wife wants the daycare/teachers again. I say let's talk nanny, or at minimum, maybe part time nanny and 2-3 days a week at daycare. Get the benefit of both.

Bolded is the key, for me. Kids who are around grown-ups almost all the time don't adjust as well to school as the ones who are socialized earlier - this has been documented in studies, and I've had teachers mention it too.

 

[RockRaines]

Bolded is the key, for me. Kids who are around grown-ups almost all the time don't adjust as well to school as the ones who are socialized earlier - this has been documented in studies, and I've had teachers mention it too.

My wife is a stay at home and makes it a point to be out of the house in play groups etc every day. Its really helpful.

[Texsox]

Parental involvement and early education are way more important than the school the kid attends.

 

I felt this as a parent and I still believe it as a teacher. In fact a very good poster and I went to battle over this a few years back and sadly he used it as an excuse to stop posting.

 

YOU are responsible for your child's education until they stop. You may subcontract the authority to teachers at public or private schools, but you maintain the responsibility. I would never say to a parent that I know more about their child or what is best for their child. I know my subject and what I believe is important for the child to learn. You must stay involved.

[Texsox]

And one more thing. Despite what y'all get here, I am a damn good teacher. I have won several awards for methods in my classroom, my students generally do well based on whatever independent metric we are using. I emphasize thinking skills over everything else. Afterall, in the end that is what they need most when they leave school.

 

I would not be a better teacher if I accepted a position at an expensive private school. Private schools generally pay less than public schools, have lower standards for their teachers, and higher turnover. My wife is a great teacher also. She loves the private school atmosphere based on small class sizes and involved parents. Her students, like mine, receive a quality education.

[farmteam]

I grew up in great school districts (Oak Park and then Ann Arbor) and it really did help attending them, my high school had a fantastic reputation, offered a ton of support, had plenty of AP courses and prepped you well for college.

 

That said, when I was at the U of I there were a ton of students from school districts that sucked. Obviously they were intelligent individuals but you could tell that they had great role models in their life. So essentially what I believe is that schools make an impact, but not as much as the support system around the student (and there is give and take between parents, community, and the school system).

 

 

Also, I grew up right next to a private school (but I went to public school), those kids were nasty and insufferable. So glad my parents didn't send me there.

I had to the exact same experience. I graduated from New Trier. Couldn't ask for a better education or better opportunities. Indiana was a breeze compared to it. But you could tell a lot of people at IU were struggling, even ones who were valedictorians. You could really tell it in their writing, some was just awful.

[iamshack]

I had to the exact same experience. I graduated from New Trier. Couldn't ask for a better education or better opportunities. Indiana was a breeze compared to it. But you could tell a lot of people at IU were struggling, even ones who were valedictorians. You could really tell it in their writing, some was just awful.

You guys always kicked our asses in golf.

[greg775]

The way I see it if you can afford it you have to send your kid to private schools. For instance I went to Brother Rice two years and Benet Academy two years. Aside from Rice being all boys, what a great place to be. Great great teachers; hard as hell classes. I actually had to take Latin there and learned Latin for gosh sake. If you want to be a doctor ... what better place for Biology, Physics, Algebra, all those classes.

One place that might be better? Benet. What a tremendous school. Great teachers; very difficult coursework (until senior year which was easy like most senior year). Both schools stressed COLLEGE and college prep work.

Parents have to have their eye on best preparing their kids for college. The best places IMO have to be private schools. Pay that $10,000 a year tuition baby. It's worth it. (Just my take).

 

As far as Vegas talk ... if u are gonna live in Sin City (yes it's Sin City) then at least move to the BEST school district. Give your kids a chance to not fall into oblivion (drug wise and academic wise).

[iamshack]

The way I see it if you can afford it you have to send your kid to private schools. For instance I went to Brother Rice two years and Benet Academy two years. Aside from Rice being all boys, what a great place to be. Great great teachers; hard as hell classes. I actually had to take Latin there and learned Latin for gosh sake. If you want to be a doctor ... what better place for Biology, Physics, Algebra, all those classes.

One place that might be better? Benet. What a tremendous school. Great teachers; very difficult coursework (until senior year which was easy like most senior year). Both schools stressed COLLEGE and college prep work.

Parents have to have their eye on best preparing their kids for college. The best places IMO have to be private schools. Pay that $10,000 a year tuition baby. It's worth it. (Just my take).

 

As far as Vegas talk ... if u are gonna live in Sin City (yes it's Sin City) then at least move to the BEST school district. Give your kids a chance to not fall into oblivion (drug wise and academic wise).

Hah. Well, I live in an interesting area. Lots of old money. This is where the folks who made Vegas famous once lived. Large lots, lots of privacy, no HOAs, mature trees, grass, etc. Entirely different than anything else in Vegas. You wouldn't even know you were in Vegas, except for that the Strip and the downtown are only 5 minutes away. Additionally, it is located in the middle of the Vegas Valley, and so you're never too far from anything. Really an awesome place to live. And my property taxes are a whopping $1500/yr.

 

The woman I bought this house from is Phyllis McGuire. She is also my neighbor. Google her.

 

Anyways, yeah, for whatever reason, as this is an older area, and there certainly are some shady areas to the north of us, the school district is not good. Everyone in this particular neighborhood/area sends their kids to private schools.

 

The area we would look at is where the new money is. Newer homes, all kinds of crazy development, so every store, restaurant, amenity is nearby. It isn't close to the Strip or Downtown area, but it isn't too far either. Maybe 25 minutes away. Property taxes are much closer to Chicago's. $8-9k year, and then all kinds of other bs as well. HOA's, SIDs and LIDs. Homes are going to be $800k at minimum, with most of them closer to double that.

 

While I am on a pretty good career arc right now, not sure I won't just pay the $10-12k per year for school.

 

[RockRaines]

The way I see it if you can afford it you have to send your kid to private schools. For instance I went to Brother Rice two years and Benet Academy two years. Aside from Rice being all boys, what a great place to be. Great great teachers; hard as hell classes. I actually had to take Latin there and learned Latin for gosh sake. If you want to be a doctor ... what better place for Biology, Physics, Algebra, all those classes.

One place that might be better? Benet. What a tremendous school. Great teachers; very difficult coursework (until senior year which was easy like most senior year). Both schools stressed COLLEGE and college prep work.

Parents have to have their eye on best preparing their kids for college. The best places IMO have to be private schools. Pay that $10,000 a year tuition baby. It's worth it. (Just my take).

 

As far as Vegas talk ... if u are gonna live in Sin City (yes it's Sin City) then at least move to the BEST school district. Give your kids a chance to not fall into oblivion (drug wise and academic wise).

I would never send my kid to Benet, yuck.

 

To clarify - I am trying to keep my kids out of the bubble I grew up in. IMO it appears safer but eventually its socially crippling.

Edited December 15, 2015 by RockRaines

[NorthSideSox72]

The way I see it if you can afford it you have to send your kid to private schools. For instance I went to Brother Rice two years and Benet Academy two years. Aside from Rice being all boys, what a great place to be. Great great teachers; hard as hell classes. I actually had to take Latin there and learned Latin for gosh sake. If you want to be a doctor ... what better place for Biology, Physics, Algebra, all those classes.

One place that might be better? Benet. What a tremendous school. Great teachers; very difficult coursework (until senior year which was easy like most senior year). Both schools stressed COLLEGE and college prep work.

Parents have to have their eye on best preparing their kids for college. The best places IMO have to be private schools. Pay that $10,000 a year tuition baby. It's worth it. (Just my take).

 

As far as Vegas talk ... if u are gonna live in Sin City (yes it's Sin City) then at least move to the BEST school district. Give your kids a chance to not fall into oblivion (drug wise and academic wise).

1. It's a lot more than 10k a year for a good private school.

 

2. While those schools are both excellent, there are public schools just as good. In which case, unless you are particular to the religious aspect (which is fine), why spend that money?

 

3. Latin is taught in lots of high schools, public and private. I took 2 years of it in a public high school, which also offered something like 6 other languages.

 

And just to add to what Rock was saying, there is a bubble aspect to be careful of. And that goes for even some public schools, by the way. It is key for my wife and I to not just keep our kids spending all their time on the North Shore, but to get out and experience the world and the city, to get involved in other communities, etc. The more people see the rest of the world instead of just their little enclave, the less people are capable of bigotry, in my experience.

 

[Chisoxfn]

Hah. Well, I live in an interesting area. Lots of old money. This is where the folks who made Vegas famous once lived. Large lots, lots of privacy, no HOAs, mature trees, grass, etc. Entirely different than anything else in Vegas. You wouldn't even know you were in Vegas, except for that the Strip and the downtown are only 5 minutes away. Additionally, it is located in the middle of the Vegas Valley, and so you're never too far from anything. Really an awesome place to live. And my property taxes are a whopping $1500/yr.

 

The woman I bought this house from is Phyllis McGuire. She is also my neighbor. Google her.

 

Anyways, yeah, for whatever reason, as this is an older area, and there certainly are some shady areas to the north of us, the school district is not good. Everyone in this particular neighborhood/area sends their kids to private schools.

 

The area we would look at is where the new money is. Newer homes, all kinds of crazy development, so every store, restaurant, amenity is nearby. It isn't close to the Strip or Downtown area, but it isn't too far either. Maybe 25 minutes away. Property taxes are much closer to Chicago's. $8-9k year, and then all kinds of other bs as well. HOA's, SIDs and LIDs. Homes are going to be $800k at minimum, with most of them closer to double that.

 

While I am on a pretty good career arc right now, not sure I won't just pay the $10-12k per year for school.

 

What is a SID / LID?

[ptatc]

The religious part of this equation I could live without.

 

I don't believe there is a pre-requisite to have religion involved in any way in a quality education. Are there overlapping values that both share? Of course.

Research has shown that the best schools and the best education come from the involvement of the parents and how involved the child is in the education. The religious part is just the by product of this. It's not the teaching of religon that matters it's just that this type of parent and student is more engaged. This is the type of school you look for. One that gets the parents and students more involved.

[iamshack]

1. It's a lot more than 10k a year for a good private school.

 

2. While those schools are both excellent, there are public schools just as good. In which case, unless you are particular to the religious aspect (which is fine), why spend that money?

 

3. Latin is taught in lots of high schools, public and private. I took 2 years of it in a public high school, which also offered something like 6 other languages.

 

And just to add to what Rock was saying, there is a bubble aspect to be careful of. And that goes for even some public schools, by the way. It is key for my wife and I to not just keep our kids spending all their time on the North Shore, but to get out and experience the world and the city, to get involved in other communities, etc. The more people see the rest of the world instead of just their little enclave, the less people are capable of bigotry, in my experience.

Great post, and some good advice.

 

Going to be some tough decisions in the next few years...

[iamshack]

What is a SID / LID?

Special Improvement District/Local Improvement District

 

A SID or LID is placed on a property when the city/county installs streets, fire hydrants, sewer plumbing and street lighting in an undeveloped portion of land that a developer is building on. The costs associated with installing these features is placed upon the home builder/developer. The developer can choose to pay the loan/bond back or they can relay the cost on to the home buyer by one of two ways: if the builder chooses to pay back the funds immediately, they tack the cost onto the price tags of all the homes in the development. If the builder chooses not to add the costs of Special or Local Improvements, the costs get placed onto the buyer by way of SID or LID that is generally a few thousand dollars per home, paid twice a year, amortized over 10-20 years.

 

 

[Chisoxfn]

Special Improvement District/Local Improvement District

 

A SID or LID is placed on a property when the city/county installs streets, fire hydrants, sewer plumbing and street lighting in an undeveloped portion of land that a developer is building on. The costs associated with installing these features is placed upon the home builder/developer. The developer can choose to pay the loan/bond back or they can relay the cost on to the home buyer by one of two ways: if the builder chooses to pay back the funds immediately, they tack the cost onto the price tags of all the homes in the development. If the builder chooses not to add the costs of Special or Local Improvements, the costs get placed onto the buyer by way of SID or LID that is generally a few thousand dollars per home, paid twice a year, amortized over 10-20 years.

Do you all have mella roos out their or is that mainly a California thing? I guess it could fall into this to some extent as it pays for all the new development plus the school / infrastructure. Gets the tax rate in new developments in California up from the 1.05% base tax to 1.5% or higher. The bonds are usually paid off over 30-40 years and now they are creating some which don't expire.

[iamshack]

Do you all have mella roos out their or is that mainly a California thing? I guess it could fall into this to some extent as it pays for all the new development plus the school / infrastructure. Gets the tax rate in new developments in California up from the 1.05% base tax to 1.5% or higher. The bonds are usually paid off over 30-40 years and now they are creating some which don't expire.

Never heard of that, but it sure sounds similar.

[RockRaines]

Research has shown that the best schools and the best education come from the involvement of the parents and how involved the child is in the education. The religious part is just the by product of this. It's not the teaching of religon that matters it's just that this type of parent and student is more engaged. This is the type of school you look for. One that gets the parents and students more involved.

Its a very careful balance between parental involvement and detrimental helicopter parents though. You have to make sure you are not the parent who is blaming the teacher for your child's issues in the classroom. Too many parents nowadays fall into that category.

[RockRaines]

1. It's a lot more than 10k a year for a good private school.

 

2. While those schools are both excellent, there are public schools just as good. In which case, unless you are particular to the religious aspect (which is fine), why spend that money?

 

3. Latin is taught in lots of high schools, public and private. I took 2 years of it in a public high school, which also offered something like 6 other languages.

 

And just to add to what Rock was saying, there is a bubble aspect to be careful of. And that goes for even some public schools, by the way. It is key for my wife and I to not just keep our kids spending all their time on the North Shore, but to get out and experience the world and the city, to get involved in other communities, etc. The more people see the rest of the world instead of just their little enclave, the less people are capable of bigotry, in my experience.

Totally agree on the last part. Living in a bubble (especially racial) as a kid was detrimental to me once I was exposed to what the real world was all about. Our goal is to expose our child to as much diversity as we can within the excellent school system here.

 

And if I am paying upwards of 20k per year in taxes there is no f***ing chance I am paying Fenwick another 18k on top of that for school.

[Chisoxfn]

Its a very careful balance between parental involvement and detrimental helicopter parents though. You have to make sure you are not the parent who is blaming the teacher for your child's issues in the classroom. Too many parents nowadays fall into that category.

At our school, one of the things I like most is how we have pretty regular conversations with the teacher to work with them to ensure consistency (really she is working with us, but same concept and it comes down to all of us being on the same page, whether it is addressing a certain behavior, or just talking through next steps in potty training, etc), which I think is such an important part of a baby / toddler's life. Honestly, every day I get to spend with my kids, gives me not only great joy (and some frustration that gets thrown in), but better appreciation for what my parents had to deal with. Honestly, I start to understand the, you don't know until you actually have kids comment that a lot of parents have (especially when someone who never had kids makes a comment). You just can't simulate the experience and I now know I have no freaking idea what to expect in the future, only advice I can give is based upon my experiences with kids 2.5 and under (unless you grew up a ton around kids or are a teacher of young kids). Having kids, in my opinion, is far harder than I ever imagined and it definitely will test your relationship as both of you adjust to being parents. But as I say, sometimes the best experiences, require the most work.

[Y2Jimmy0]

The way I see it if you can afford it you have to send your kid to private schools. For instance I went to Brother Rice two years and Benet Academy two years. Aside from Rice being all boys, what a great place to be. Great great teachers; hard as hell classes. I actually had to take Latin there and learned Latin for gosh sake. If you want to be a doctor ... what better place for Biology, Physics, Algebra, all those classes.

One place that might be better? Benet. What a tremendous school. Great teachers; very difficult coursework (until senior year which was easy like most senior year). Both schools stressed COLLEGE and college prep work.

Parents have to have their eye on best preparing their kids for college. The best places IMO have to be private schools. Pay that $10,000 a year tuition baby. It's worth it. (Just my take).

 

As far as Vegas talk ... if u are gonna live in Sin City (yes it's Sin City) then at least move to the BEST school district. Give your kids a chance to not fall into oblivion (drug wise and academic wise).

 

 

This is insulting. I went to public school in Lockport and teach in one now. Everything you mentioned there is just as good if not better in most of the good public schools in the state. A lot of really good teachers can't afford to stay in private schools forever either. If you live in Chicago, then yes, private school is the way to go. But by me, if you live in Lockport, New Lenox, Lemont, Orland Park, Naperville, etc, there is absolutely no reason to pay the extra $$ to go to private school. Go to public school and spend the $$ on college. I've always thought that I'd rather pay extra for property taxes in a good district and send my kids to public school rather than possibly living in an area with not great schools (Plainfield, Bolingbrook) and spending that extra $$ on private school.

[Chisoxfn]

This is insulting. I went to public school in Lockport and teach in one now. Everything you mentioned there is just as good if not better in most of the good public schools in the state. A lot of really good teachers can't afford to stay in private schools forever either. If you live in Chicago, then yes, private school is the way to go. But by me, if you live in Lockport, New Lenox, Lemont, Orland Park, Naperville, etc, there is absolutely no reason to pay the extra $$ to go to private school. Go to public school and spend the $$ on college. I've always thought that I'd rather pay extra for property taxes in a good district and send my kids to public school rather than possibly living in an area with not great schools (Plainfield, Bolingbrook) and spending that extra $$ on private school.

Good school districts also help solidify real estate / property values.

[RockRaines]

This is insulting. I went to public school in Lockport and teach in one now. Everything you mentioned there is just as good if not better in most of the good public schools in the state. A lot of really good teachers can't afford to stay in private schools forever either. If you live in Chicago, then yes, private school is the way to go. But by me, if you live in Lockport, New Lenox, Lemont, Orland Park, Naperville, etc, there is absolutely no reason to pay the extra $$ to go to private school. Go to public school and spend the $$ on college. I've always thought that I'd rather pay extra for property taxes in a good district and send my kids to public school rather than possibly living in an area with not great schools (Plainfield, Bolingbrook) and spending that extra $$ on private school.

I thought the same thing. Pay extra for real estate and taxes to live within a walkable distance to amazing schools from Pre-K up.

[StrangeSox]

This is insulting. I went to public school in Lockport

 

:fistbump:

[LDF]

I thought the same thing. Pay extra for real estate and taxes to live within a walkable distance to amazing schools from Pre-K up.

 

over all, that idea is a nice dream.... i believe they called it the american dream.

 

but that was a long time ago. now, and i mean no disrespect to parents, parents will have to take more of pro-active role in their children. that is if they can, if not, then they will need to find a place who can at least protect your children's.

 

today, even in a remote area of no major crime life or gang life, CO. there was something that happen in school .... this was like plus or minus 3 weeks.

 

chi again is leading the nation for, how do not know the numerical number of consecutive years, that violence will get to the school. believe me, school is a ripe area for recruitment.

[Y2HH]

I'd just like to point out that I went to public school in Chicago for both elementary and high school...and I turned out fine...so it wasn't the schools...it's the parents/kids.

 

For full disclosure, I went to:

 

K-9 - Kanoon on 22nd Kedzie

HS - Bogan on 79th Pulaski

 

You know what I didn't do? Major in ancient nobody gives a f*** poetry and got a degree that's actually useful.

Edited December 15, 2015 by Y2HH