SAVVY18 Posted September 17, 2003 Share Posted September 17, 2003 How to shower like a woman: • Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. • Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed flesh and rush to the bathroom. • Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and forcibly stick out your tummy so that you can say aloud how you're getting fat. • Get in the shower. Look for facecloth, armcloth, legcloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone. • Wash your hair once with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins. • Wash your hair again with Cucumber and Lamfrey shampoo with 83 added vitamins. • Condition your hair with Cucumber and Lamfrey conditioner enhanced with natural crocus oil. Leave on hair for 15 minutes. • Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red and raw. • Wash entire rest of body with Ginger Nut and Jaffa Cake body wash. • Rinse conditioner off hair (take at least 15 minutes as you must make sure that it has all come off). • Shave armpits and legs. Consider shaving bikini area but decide to get it waxed instead. • Scream loudly when your husband flushes the toilet multiple times on purpose so you keep losing the hot water pressure. • Turn off shower. • Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower. Spray mold spots with Tilex. • Get out of shower. • Dry your body with a towel the size of a small African country. • Wrap hair in super absorbent second towel. • Check entire body for the remotest sign of a zit. Attack with nails/tweezers if found. • Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head. • If you see your husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas and then rush to bedroom to spend an hour and a half getting dressed. ---------------------------------------------------- How to shower like a man: • Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile. • Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see your wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the "woo" sound. • Look at your manly physique in the mirror and suck in your gut to see if you have pecs (no). • Admire the size of your wiener in the mirror, scratch your "privates" and smell your fingers for one last whiff. • Get in the shower. • Don't bother to look for a washcloth (you don't use one). • Wash your face. • Wash your armpits. • Crack up at how loud your farts sound in the shower. • Wash your privates and surrounding area. • Wash your butt, leaving hair on the soap bar. • Shampoo your hair (do not use conditioner). • Make a shampoo Mohawk. • Pull back shower curtain and look at yourself in the mirror. • Pee (in the shower). • Rinse off and get out of the shower. • Fail to notice water on the floor because you left the curtain hanging out of the tub the whole time. • Partially dry off. • Look at yourself in the mirror, flex muscles. Admire wiener size again. • Leave shower curtain open and wet bath mat on the floor. • Leave bathroom fan and light on. • Return to the bedroom with towel around your waist. If you pass your wife, pull off the towel, grab your wiener, go "Yeah baby" and thrust your pelvis at her. • Throw wet towel on the bed. Take 2 minutes to get dressed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IlliniKrush Posted September 17, 2003 Share Posted September 17, 2003 so true, good stuff Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chisoxfn Posted September 17, 2003 Share Posted September 17, 2003 Classic yet True. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest hotsoxchick1 Posted September 17, 2003 Share Posted September 17, 2003 lol.... true .....but me thinks you been hangin with wsc425 a bit too much ........ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Be Good Posted September 18, 2003 Share Posted September 18, 2003 lol.... true .....but me thinks you been hangin with wsc425 a bit too much ........ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest hotsoxchick1 Posted September 18, 2003 Share Posted September 18, 2003 well this is something he would post.. but he would make it a poll........ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SAVVY18 Posted September 18, 2003 Author Share Posted September 18, 2003 Hmmm...How could I make this a poll? I should have made it a "answer Yes or No to the following" thread. Now that would be interesting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest hotsoxchick1 Posted September 18, 2003 Share Posted September 18, 2003 Hmmm...How could I make this a poll? I should have made it a "answer Yes or No to the following" thread. Now that would be interesting. sorry it was a joke....if you have ever read anything that wsc has put up its usually a poll and usually something asking about if he should shower in the locker room with the other guys and stuff like that....... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SAVVY18 Posted September 18, 2003 Author Share Posted September 18, 2003 No offense taken...I was actually playing along. I thought the smiley would have conveyed that. I forget that the people here don't know me too well yet. I am a smart ass by nature. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BridgeportHeather Posted September 18, 2003 Share Posted September 18, 2003 Putting on the same bath robe after you take a shower as you had on before the shower is just plain disgusting. It just transfers the bacteria that came off of your body from before your shower to your body after your shower. That's why you wait until you get into the shower, then take everything off, throwing them on the floor outside of the shower. There won't be the bacteria transfer then. In addition, it's imperative that you don't use the same wash cloth more than once, since you're just transfering the bacteria from your last shower to the next. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest hotsoxchick1 Posted September 18, 2003 Share Posted September 18, 2003 Putting on the same bath robe after you take a shower as you had on before the shower is just plain disgusting. It just transfers the bacteria that came off of your body from before your shower to your body after your shower. That's why you wait until you get into the shower, then take everything off, throwing them on the floor outside of the shower. There won't be the bacteria transfer then. In addition, it's imperative that you don't use the same wash cloth more than once, since you're just transfering the bacteria from your last shower to the next. lol or you could just get naked in the bedroom and walk the few short steps to the shower hence not worrying about transfering any bacteria anywhere but the carpet... take your shower and then vaccum the floor when your done........ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest hotsoxchick1 Posted September 18, 2003 Share Posted September 18, 2003 No offense taken...I was actually playing along. I thought the smiley would have conveyed that. I forget that the people here don't know me too well yet. I am a smart ass by nature. lol were all smart asses here... join the crowd.......... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chisoxfn Posted September 18, 2003 Share Posted September 18, 2003 Putting on the same bath robe after you take a shower as you had on before the shower is just plain disgusting. It just transfers the bacteria that came off of your body from before your shower to your body after your shower. That's why you wait until you get into the shower, then take everything off, throwing them on the floor outside of the shower. There won't be the bacteria transfer then. In addition, it's imperative that you don't use the same wash cloth more than once, since you're just transfering the bacteria from your last shower to the next. You can't possibly be that dirty before you take the shower. If thats the case then sleeping in the bed would just transfer all bacteria right back to ya. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chisoxfn Posted September 18, 2003 Share Posted September 18, 2003 lol or you could just get naked in the bedroom and walk the few short steps to the shower hence not worrying about transfering any bacteria anywhere but the carpet... take your shower and then vaccum the floor when your done........ Or you could just be a guy. Get up out of bed (Naked)....walk to the shower, turn it on. Then brush your teeth and shave while the water heats up and hop into the shower. Then come out, dry yourself off and put your clothes on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest hotsoxchick1 Posted September 18, 2003 Share Posted September 18, 2003 Or you could just be a guy. Get up out of bed (Naked)....walk to the shower, turn it on. Then brush your teeth and shave while the water heats up and hop into the shower. Then come out, dry yourself off and put your clothes on. nah thats too easy...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BridgeportHeather Posted September 19, 2003 Share Posted September 19, 2003 You can't possibly be that dirty before you take the shower. If thats the case then sleeping in the bed would just transfer all bacteria right back to ya. I take my showers in the morning, hun. I usually don't sleep until bedtime that night, so I wash the bacteria off when I get up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Be Good Posted September 19, 2003 Share Posted September 19, 2003 SAVVY, how do we shower like a cat? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest hotsoxchick1 Posted September 19, 2003 Share Posted September 19, 2003 I take my showers in the morning, hun. I usually don't sleep until bedtime that night, so I wash the bacteria off when I get up. but then all that bacteria that you aquired during the day is on the bed each nite when you crawl into it.......... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SAVVY18 Posted September 19, 2003 Author Share Posted September 19, 2003 SAVVY, how do we shower like a cat? When you wash your Pus... Ahhh, nevermind!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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