Bachelor party disappointment

[Texsox]

I don't think I'd forgive the best man. I don't think I'd let him be my best man after that. That's just insane posse.

 

 

Great post. Nothing good comes out of talking about a bachelor party. People will be satisfied if EVERYBODY says you played cards and ordered a pizza. Anybody that says what really happens at one of the wilder bachelor parties should be ashamed of himself. You can get grooms in a lot of trouble just by saying there were strippers.

 

What wild bachelor party? We played cards and ordered a pizza

[greg775]

What bothers me about this is it loudly says that no, they're actually NOT good dads. Because someday, odds are their own kids will meet people just like them...and that makes you a piece of s*** in my mind.

 

And let me be clear here...if that's how you want to live, I'm fine with that...but say it. Be a man. If that's the kind of relationship you and your wife want to have, I'm fully behind that, only it has to be an agreement BOTH make. But if you're pretending to be one thing, yet doing another...it makes you the worst kind of liar there is. If you can't do that, fine...don't get married...nobody's forcing you to do so.

 

Again, this isn't directed at you.

 

I just have very very strong feelings about this.

 

I'm also realistic...I fully understand humans have urges...but what makes us different from the common animal is we have the ability to control those urges. And for those of us that legitimately have addiction issues, know that we live in a world where help is available if you aren't too much of a coward to seek it.

 

Oh, edit...that last paragraph isn't even "that bad", so long as he told her he was going to a strip club...if she was ok with that kind of innocent interaction, fine...no issues. Again...with me it's about admitting it. If you want to go to a strip club for your bachelor or bachelorette party, have the guts to say it to you're significant other. If you don't have the guts to say it...or have to lie about what happened that night, then you're starting off your lives wrong.

I pretty much agree with you. I don't know why people cheat. I'll tell you one thing. I know a lot of you despise religion but I love watching the families that come to church every Sunday and sit by me. I feel like if God is in the equation for both partners they would never cheat.

Edited June 15, 2016 by greg775

[Texsox]

I pretty much agree with you. I don't know why people cheat. I'll tell you one thing. I know a lot of you despise religion but I love watching the families that come to church every Sunday and sit by me. I feel like if God is in the equation for both partners they would never cheat.

 

And if they do at least they are trying.

[Y2HH]

I pretty much agree with you. I don't know why people cheat. I'll tell you one thing. I know a lot of you despise religion but I love watching the families that come to church every Sunday and sit by me. I feel like if God is in the equation for both partners they would never cheat.

 

Sometimes those couples are the worst offenders. Don't be fooled by the veneer.

 

Look, I'm realistic, and I have no problem with couples not being monogamous if that's their agreement/choice. I do, however, have an issue with those that buy into the institution based on lies and worse, sometimes continue the lie for many years before it ultimately blows up and ruins people's lives or relationships.

 

All I want is for people to be honest. If you want to sleep around, say so. But if you want to buy into the institution of marriage as we know it today without such an agreement in place, then don't.

Edited June 15, 2016 by Y2HH

[Texsox]

Sometimes those couples are the worst offenders.

 

And sometimes not. My in laws just celebrated 65 years of marriage. They credit their faith in keeping that marriage alive.

[Y2HH]

Right....Sex At Dawn.

 

Would love to hear your response to this particular book.

 

Although I agree, 85-90%, with what you're saying about being hypocritical and NOT "still being a good dad/father" while consistently cheating on your wife/gf and covering it up.

 

I read the synopsis and I doubt I'd disagree with it. Only thing I disagree with or have a problem with is lying. If she's ok with that lifestyle I have absolution NO opinion on it. I don't tell others how to live their lives, I just don't want them to lie to others in order to do it.

[Y2HH]

And sometimes not. My in laws just celebrated 65 years of marriage. They credit their faith in keeping that marriage alive.

 

Well absolutely. Sometimes they life the truth as opposed to living the lie and if you choose to do that through faith, again, I have no problem with that choice. So long as it's the truth.

 

The only thing I take issue with in regard to this is basing a marriage on lies. If you have to lie about the things you did, are doing or will be doing, don't do them.

[Texsox]

Well absolutely. Sometimes they life the truth as opposed to living the lie and if you choose to do that through faith, again, I have no problem with that choice. So long as it's the truth.

 

The only thing I take issue with in regard to this is basing a marriage on lies. If you have to lie about the things you did, are doing or will be doing, don't do them.

 

I agree.

[greg775]

And sometimes not. My in laws just celebrated 65 years of marriage. They credit their faith in keeping that marriage alive.

 

It seems to me that if both members of a married couple have jobs, they are going to meet other people. When you meet other people, the odds are you are going to meet one you are compatible with and are attracted to. The only way to not act on this attraction IMO is if both partners in the married couple believe in God and just simply won't allow themselves to go there. The minute you allow yourself to go there and act on the attraction you are a cheater. Personally I don't see how couples make it without combined faith. You can say kids and yes there are many women who are miserable who stay in the marriage only for the kids. I've had relatives tell me they are getting out as soon as the kids leave home. At that point they are scared to go at it alone and stay in the marriage.

[SoxAce]

been to a few strip clubs where a bachelor gets called out, he speaks truth.

 

Absolutely. I'm speaking as the strip club vet here. took my best friend to one, but that was really for the groomsmen. He's not a fan of strip clubs anymore, so I planned another one for him and did the go carts. He loved it.

[caulfield12]

The only way to not act on this attraction IMO is if both partners in the married couple believe in God and just simply won't allow themselves to go there.

 

 

Greg, there are plenty of gay and straight couples that don't cheat and I'm sure they would tell you the reason has everything to do with respect for each other, trust/commitment, the belief in the institution of marriage, etc.

 

If you want to attribute Biblical or higher powers to being the reason for couples having integrity/fidelity, that's great, but there are just as many Christian/Catholic couples who are held in high regard and go to church every Sunday and tithe who are cheating than non-Christians.

 

 

[CrimsonWeltall]

Personally I don't see how couples make it without combined faith.

 

Being ethical doesn't require any faith.

[Y2HH]

The only way to not act on this attraction IMO is if both partners in the married couple believe in God and just simply won't allow themselves to go there.

 

 

Greg, there are plenty of gay and straight couples that don't cheat and I'm sure they would tell you the reason has everything to do with respect for each other, trust/commitment, the belief in the institution of marriage, etc.

 

If you want to attribute Biblical or higher powers to being the reason for couples having integrity/fidelity, that's great, but there are just as many Christian/Catholic couples who are held in high regard and go to church every Sunday and tithe who are cheating than non-Christians.

 

Exactly what I was going to say.

[RockRaines]

It seems to me that if both members of a married couple have jobs, they are going to meet other people. When you meet other people, the odds are you are going to meet one you are compatible with and are attracted to. The only way to not act on this attraction IMO is if both partners in the married couple believe in God and just simply won't allow themselves to go there. The minute you allow yourself to go there and act on the attraction you are a cheater. Personally I don't see how couples make it without combined faith. You can say kids and yes there are many women who are miserable who stay in the marriage only for the kids. I've had relatives tell me they are getting out as soon as the kids leave home. At that point they are scared to go at it alone and stay in the marriage.

Or just dont be a scumbag and cheat. But yeah, god.

[Steve9347]

It seems to me that if both members of a married couple have jobs, they are going to meet other people. When you meet other people, the odds are you are going to meet one you are compatible with and are attracted to. The only way to not act on this attraction IMO is if both partners in the married couple believe in God and just simply won't allow themselves to go there. The minute you allow yourself to go there and act on the attraction you are a cheater. Personally I don't see how couples make it without combined faith. You can say kids and yes there are many women who are miserable who stay in the marriage only for the kids. I've had relatives tell me they are getting out as soon as the kids leave home. At that point they are scared to go at it alone and stay in the marriage.

I don't believe in fiction and magic but I am somehow still able to stay dedicated to the wonderful woman I married.

 

You know, because I'm not a F*CKING ANIMAL.

[MEANS]

For my bachelor party a few of my friends and I drove up to Chicago from Indy for the weekend. My best man and another friend flew in from PA and Puerto Rico. Friday night we got really drunk and high as f*** and went to Morton's steak house. They did the explain the menu without actual printed menus deal and when the waiter was done we all looked at each other and were like...ah....yeah we're gonna need menus. LOL. We had a really fun time there and then got a stretch limo to take us down to the Cell for a Sox/Orioles game. This was 2011 and the Sox just got crushed....ugh that kinda sucked. My buddy from Puerto Rico hit his head getting out of the limo and did not remember one part of the game. We then had the limo take us to some strip club which had mostly Russian strippers. I didn't get humiliated on stage or anything, we had a good time, busting each others chops and what not. We then went out later to some more bars and had fun exploring the city the next day. All in all we had a really good time and have plenty of stories to remember with each other. It really didn't matter if we went to the strip club or not, it was just about having fun with good friends. That's the most important part.

[Middle Buffalo]

And sometimes not. My in laws just celebrated 65 years of marriage. They credit their faith in keeping that marriage alive.

Does your father in law play cards and eat pizza?

[Texsox]

Does your father in law play cards and eat pizza?

[knightni]

Does your father in law play cards and eat pizza?

Only when his wife is out of town.

[Texsox]

Only when his wife is our wives are out of town.

 

Fixed

[greg775]

Or just dont be a scumbag and cheat. But yeah, god.

I can still learn some things from a message board. So u guys disagree with me. Fine. It's given me some points to consider. I've always thought it helped if husband and wife were committed to the same God as well as being committed to their vows. I guess the bigger point is can a couple stay faithful if not committed to their vows?

Edited June 17, 2016 by greg775

[greg775]

By your logic, are you saying someone who isn't religious is more likely to cheat on their spouse?

Yeah that was my perception. If the two people BOTH are believers and dedicated to a higher power, God, my contention is it helps keep you together and not cheat. My take is many couples, maybe most, tend to lose that sexual attraction and with that, that love, as the years go by. If both partners are available to others, meeting others at work, etc., it's very easy to stray. My take is if both dedicated their marriage to God, they are more likely to resist temptation and not cheat. I could be off base.

[greg775]

Being nice.......yes, you are incredibly off base.

 

Religion is not part of my life. Probably never will be. In fact, if I ever do get married it probably won't be in a church. I don't have anything against religion, it just isn't something I value.

 

With that said, I have never cheated on a significant other, and that has nothing has to do with faith or religion. It's about being a good person. And being a good person doesn't have anything to do with faith or religion.

I guess I've just known a ton of people who cheat and all the ones who do never pray, don't believe in God. The ones who don't cheat go to church together, pray together.

[caulfield12]

There's a big stigma in the church against cheating, so likely it's happening and you just don't know about it...or maybe the pastor/minister/counselor knows the situation, but they don't want it broadcast.

 

To an extent, there's a self-fulfilling prophecy here at play. You don't expect those you go to church with to cheat, therefore you only are actively looking at cheating as coming from "non Christian" circles because of your perception. You should talk to your priest/pastor/minister and ask HIM/HER if she believes this to be true or not, that would be more interesting for you to hear their perspective. If they were honest, they'd say sin is all around us, as are sinners. Some ask for forgiveness from God for their sins, others obviously do not.

 

You could make the argument that Christians are MORE likely to cheat because they're much more likely to be forgiven by a spouse for their actions...to get a 2nd or 3rd chance. Isn't that what the Bible teaches? Forgiveness? Even that argument doesn't hold up under scrutiny, but it's another way of looking at it. If you don't believe in God and put more faith in your partner, it's harder to get past, don't you agree?

Edited June 18, 2016 by caulfield12

[Texsox]

This is simply about value systems and beliefs. People who share a similar belief that cheating is bad will be less likely to cheat, no matter how they chose to reinforce their values. Going to church doesn't automatically make you perfect anymore than visiting a doctor makes you healthy. I see plenty of hypocrites at doctor's offices. They are sitting there like wow look how healthy I am I'm at a doctor's office, then eat a big bag of donuts on the way home, do drugs, don't exercise, etc. Hypocrites.